Denial is Useless
by Django1992
Summary: Naomi's not gay. She's not. She doesn't like fanny or tits. She's a normal, straight girl. Drugs, booze and tits and fanny say otherwise.
1. She's Not Gay

**Disclaimer: I don't own skins! I wish I did though!**

**Chapter one:**

She scowls as another witless, crude insult comes off his tongue. Sometimes she thinks he spits venom when he speaks. The way his tongue slithers out from behind his callous lips and then drag themselves over his yellowing teeth is enough to make her want to vomit all over the club floor, but Cook has this charm that lets you laugh along with him. His arm slides over her shoulders. "How about it, blondie?" He waggles his eyebrows at her; they dance along to the rhyme of the music. Up and down, up and down, up and down. She's not really paying attention anymore, shakes her head and opens her mouth. "Not even if I was the last person on this earth, James." She replies sweetly and he shrugs, takes another swig of his beer and pats her on the back. "Fair enough, some muff munchers can't be saved even by the Cookie Monster. If you ever need something to go that little bit further up....well, you know who to call!" He smirks and she scowls and grabs him by the ear. "Alright, Alright, Alright woman! I ain't your dog, Naomikins! Let fucking go!"

She smiles and releases his ear. You don't always have to speak to Cook to get the message across; he gets it better if you do it by actions because Cook is all about action. "Now, fuck off!" She laughs as it passes her lips and he bows at her, beer swaying in the bottle and a little spilling out onto the night club floor. "Smooth."

"I don't do 'smooth', luv. I do frantic. Always better that way." And with a wink he's gone into the darkness of the club. Her best friend. Her lip curls in disgust. Her eyes watch over him as he makes his way over to the next unsuspecting bimbo; he saunters up, grinds into them, whispers in their ear and then she follows him outside. Easy as pie for the Cookie Monster. She smiles because at least somebody is getting some action tonight.

She sighs as someone knocks her forward and off balance. She doesn't even know why she comes here; Cook drags her, but she knows that's not really the reason because as much of a 'lad' that Cook is he could never make her do something that he didn't want. Even said himself: "Naomikins, the closet I've come to being whipped is you, babe." Verbatim. Of course she'd replied with a "Don't call me 'babe'" and a scowl, but he always knew how to make her smile. He wasn't the reason she came to this club every night of the week. She'd met Cook a couple of months ago, just moved into the city a year ago and wasn't exactly sociable. One friend; Cook. He'd picked her up at a club round the corner from here; Jeggers...? It was a long time ago and she didn't really know Bristol that well. Cook had sauntered up to her, tried the grind, gotten a slap and he'd taken it with a smirk. She'd told him he was repulsive and then they'd become friends. He liked the way she acted or something. 'Spunky' but she's sure he meant something else entirely but she choose to take it the way she wanted to.

She was happy to have Cook; even if he was a cunt, but the reason she came here every night? To get lost. There is always a sea of people to dive into, immerse yourself in until you feel like you're drowning. Forget. Don't think it's some tragic tale though where her parents were killed when she was little and she was going from foster home to foster home. It's nothing as bad as that. She's just not...content. So she comes here to forget and pretend. Her eyes scanned the crowd, the bar is bigger on the inside then on the outside. There's a long chrome bar that stretches across the back wall with customers eagerly lined up against it; drinks on the mind and sex. Bottles of drink are crammed up into the shelves behind it, for show but never used and the bartender is busy running from one end to the other taking orders. There's a upstairs section just above the bar where all the people that want to 'relax' can go for a fee. Naomi's never been. It's lined with red leather sofas and drugs, well, that's what Cook tells her at least. He's been there plenty of times. Hostess as well apparently, professional for a sleezy place. Pretty much the same club round the corner and the next in Bristol. They're all the same.

She decides to dance. A girl presses in behind her and she feels tits press up against her back, covered hardened nipples lightly pressing into her bare back where her top doesn't cover it. Feels the need to bite her lip but doesn't. She's not gay. Atmosphere and what not is enough to drive anyone crazy, Cook calls her gay and she calls him a cunt. She moves from the girl and a guy is the next to dance with her, grinding into her arse as she sways to the beat. It's nice, but it's not the same. She ignores it and gets some drugs. Whips them out of her bag and heads for the toilet. Uses her student card to create lines out of the white stuff in front of her, she's sure that when the college designed student cards they didn't want their students doing drugs with them and she supposes that's one of the good things about college. They can only ever do one thing right; make kids worse. "Share the love?" A husky voice whispers from behind her. She turns and takes in the redhead. Low-cut top, tight jeans and bow in her hair (that doesn't quite go with her outfit).

"What?" She snaps, doesn't mean to but she's not a very friendly person.

"I...nevermind." The redhead stutters and starts to head for the bathroom door. Naomi rolls her eyes, stupid bloody defence mechanism.

"Hey, did, I mean, do you want....?" Naomi motions to a line of the coke in front of her with her student card and the redhead stops. The redhead nods and moves back over to Naomi. Naomi holds out a rolled up twenty and hands it to the redhead. The girl becomes flustered, her cheeks goes red and she looks anywhere but the coke in front of her and the girl next to her. "What's the matter?" Naomi asks.

"I haven't...I've never..." Realisation. She's never done coke.

"You've never done coke?" Naomi asks and the redhead starts to blush harder, if that was possible. The blush spreads down her neck and towards her chest. Naomi follows it with her eyes, resting on the top sweat covered mounds that are resting just below it. Mouth goes dry, pupils dilate, it's the coke! She hasn't taken any coke! Eyes fill with panic. Instinct makes her take the twenty from the girl and snort a line of coke up through it. Body starts to relax, tension goes and the high begins. "Easy, see."

The girl nods, bows her head and copies the movements that Naomi took. Her eyes look back at the blone much calmer, the blush is gone and she's smiling warmly. "Thanks..." She drags out and Naomi smiles back. "I'm Emily, by the way, what's your name?" She seems more confident now.

"Naomi. First timer, then?" The drugs are already starting to affect her. The music's pump is getting louder each second and it feels like her blood is pumping in her body, her head is dizzy as fuck and everything is becoming much more languid and slow. Good times ahead! All aboard the drug high train and please keep your arms and legs in the ride at all times because it's about to go fucking crazy in here. Naomi giggles. Emily giggles back. They starts to laugh, it builtdsup and up until they were laughing at all for no reason.

"Yeah, I've never really had the chance before, you know? I'm the good one." Emily replies wiping the tears from her eyes.

"The good one?"

"Yeah....I'm a twin." Emily replies.

"There's two of you!?" Naomi asks, her eyes almost bulging out of her head.

"Yeah," Emily leans back against the wall a smile pulling up on her lips. "I want to dance..."

"Then go dance..." Naomi replies with a smirk and shoves Emily playfully. Drugs make social situations so much easier, flashed through Naomi's mind. Makes it so much easier to talk to people.

"Dance with me?" Emily pulled on Naomi's hand towards the door.

"I'm sorry, who are you? I met you like five minutes ago when you stole my coke! Why should I dance with you, _stranger?_" Naomi smirks and winks at the redhead.

Emily gasps. "I didn't steal anything! You called me back, _Naomi!_"

"Oh, know my name, do you? Clever one, you are. With the ability to listen to something that someone says to you. Talented." Naomi winks again and Emily blushes. The room fills with the sound of girls laughing and talking as they barge in from the dance floor. The two girls are forced apart as the toilet becomes crowded. Naomi gathers her things up and heads for the door. She looks back over her shoulder but Emily the redhead has disappeared in the crowd. Naomi shrugs. Heads back out to the dance floor and searches the sea of people; picks out the green Fred Perry polo shirt, the ripped denim jeans and the spiky, dirty blonde hair. "Hey, Cook."

"Alright, Naomikins, pulled yet?"

"Sadly, not all of us can pay girls to go to bed with them, Cook." She quips.

Cook smirks. "I knew there was that inner Dyke in there, Campbell! That's it girl let it out!" he cheers and pats her on the back.

Naomi's eyes widened in realisation. "No, that's not what I meant. I don't want to have sex with girls!" She hisses and he laughs louder.

"Sure, Naomi, and I'm the king of fucking france. Sooner you admit it girl the sooner you can get some tongue up your fanny and have your cumming louder then a bloody motorbike! I'd give it a try, but I'm afraid I'm missing the most important ingredient...fanny." he barks out laughing and Naomi scowls at him, grabs a pint off the bar next to her and pours it over his head. Heads for the door and steps outside. She's dizzy from the drugs and it's heightening her emotions. Her breath gets quicker and she has to use the wall to support herself. She's not gay. She's not. Cook's just being a fucking dickhead, sex obsessed, pig. She likes cock and abs! Not vagina and tits! She doesn't! "Hey...are you okay? I saw that guy was giving you trouble in there....?" She knows the voice and face before she even turns round. The redhead from the bathroom....Emily.

"Hey, Emily." She forces her best smile and attempts to stand up straight. Fails. Emily's not particularly sober either. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm fine! Thanks, you?"

"Fine?" Emily smiles at her with chocolate brown eyes and Naomi's legs almost give out.

"Yep!" Naomi slides down the wall and curls her legs up to her chest. Reaches into her bag and pulls out some fag's. Emily slides down next to her and pulls a fag out from the packet without asking. "Help yourself!" The sarcastic comment leaves her lips before she can stop herself.

"You've given me your drugs, I figured a fag wouldn't matter that much. Got a lighter?" Emily replies and Naomi hands it over. Emily takes a drag and then her head hits the wall behind her as she leans back against it. "So, who was that guy, then? Your boyfriend?"

"Well, look at miss confident. Earlier you were scared to ask me for drugs and now you're asking personal questions? Sorry, but I don't talk to strangers."

"You're not a stranger. You're my drug dealer there's a difference." Emily winks at her and she can't help but laugh.

"He's my best mate."

"And you pour pints of beer over all your best mates?"

"He was saying some stuff that was a load of shit, so I told him to fuck off." Naomi replies and takes a drag off her own fag.

"Fair enough. I've seen you around at college, how long you been there?"

"Not long, a couple of months. Don't know many people, well, other than Cook in there and I think the whole bloody college knows about his sexual encounters twenty seconds after it's happened. Ah, the wonders of the text message. How society has benefited from that."

"Wannabe Politician?"

"You could say that." Naomi smiles at Emily. She smiles back. Naomi throws her fag butt on the floor and stamps it out. "Urgh, I've had enough for one night." Naomi gets up and Emily does the same. They stand there for a moment not really knowing what to do or say. Naomi thinks that drugs are supposed to help these situations! She grinds her teeth. "Well, nice to meet you, Emily. See you. And watch out for Cook, no matter what he says, you don't want any of his crayola cock."

"Oh, don't worry, I don't want any cock." Emily's eyes bulge after see says this and Naomi notices that she looks like she wants to cover her mouth with her hand. Naomi hates awkward situations. "See you around." She tries her best to leave. Really she does.

"Wait!" Emily calls and Naomi stops. She's gay! She's gay! Naomi you're not gay! Stay away! Stay away! Emily reaches into her pocket and pulls out a pen. Naomi feels the prickle of the tip against her skin as the numbers are slowly written up her forearm. Emily is written with a heart over the 'i' underneath it. "Just...in case...you wanna do something in college or something." Emily helplessly shrugs her shoulders and Naomi nods with a tight smile and then she's gone.

Her feet hit the pavement hard. Thoughts plaguing her mind. She gets home, walks past her mum without a word and then slams the door to her room closed. Texts Emily. Can't help herself. She'll say it's because the drugs are still taking affect. They're not. _Anytime you need drugs give me a call. Naomi x. _She's gonna regret it, well, that's what her minds telling her. She's not gay.

_Alright, Naomikins, I was a cunt. Forgive me, you big ol' lezza? Meet me at the pub tomorrow. X_

_Twat :)_

She'll go.

**A/N: Thought I'd try and get back into some writing for the new year. Worth continuing? What you think? :)**


	2. Jeggers

**Disclaimer: I don't own skins! I wish I did though!**

**Chapter Two:**

"New shirt?" Naomi asks as she pulls up a stool and plants herself on it. She motions to the bloke behind the bar and he plants a pint in front of her with a nod. She sips as Cook winks at her and downs the rest of his pint; wiping his mouth clean with the back of his hand as he slams the pint down with the other. "Well, since you wrecked my other one with a pint of bitter the other night, babe, the Cookie Monster needed a new pulling shirt."

"Ah, the pulling shirt technique? That's a load of shit, _James._ And you know it!" Naomi replies with an eye roll and looks around the pub. It's Keith, except Keith isn't here this evening. He's gone to get Cook something special (drugs) so that means that John has to take over behind the bar. John's alright, bit quiet, but alright.

"You so sure of that, Naomikins?"

"Yes, James." She smirks.

"Wanna bet on that?" He drums his hands on the table and has an electric smile on his face that just screams menace. Naomi knows that smile too well and she always takes him up on it because Cook always surprises her. It's fun to watch him try. "Come on, Naomikins, I know you like fanny, but no need to be a pussy, babe!"

"For the last time, I don't like fucking fanny! Fine, James, how much you wanna bet? How much?"

"Twenty quid that I can pull a girl in this top and then tomorrow night, babe, I'll try and pull the same girl wearing a different shirt. It's all about the clothes, babe, you need to know how to wear it and share it!"

"That doesn't even make any sense!" Naomi replies, huffs out a breath and then sticks out her hand towards Cook. "Fine, James, we've got a deal." Handing over a twenty she knows she might not get back, she smiles.

Cook takes the note from her quick and pulls out a grubby one from his dirty jean pocket. He unrolls it and holds it up to the light. "Yeah, this is real," He winks at her and she rolls her eyes. "Right, all bets are in. The Cookie Monster versus Naomikins the muff muncher. It'll be a hard battle set out over days where only one person can be the victor, who will triumph? Cock or fanny?" He burst into laughter and slaps the bar. "John! Another two, please!"

"I've still got mine." Naomi motions to her pint.

"They're both for me." He smirks and takes the two pints into both hands. "Thanks, John, mate."

Cook's pub. No one else comes here from College. It's just her and him at the back of the pub, downing free drinks because his uncle owns the place. They'll drink till around 11ish, entertain themselves with stories of Cook's past 'great' deeds and Naomi's whinging about her 'annoying, hippy' mum, and then when Keith locks up they'll have a go on the dart board, maybe some pool, drink so more and then go their separate ways. They always do this on a Thursday. Routine.

"We're off!" He howls and pulls Naomi up off her stool and towards the pub door.

"What? Where? We always spend the night here on Thursdays." Naomi states in confusion. She wasn't expecting this. Where the hell does Cook want to go?

"What, you expect the Cookie Monster to work his magic here? I'm sorry, babe, but the Cookie Monster needs some quality minge to work his magic on this evening and Keith's buffet is really my taste," His eyes travel over the overweight, greasy, tangled hair woman that are littering the place. He shakes his head and makes an 'urgh' noise before turning back towards Naomi. She's rolling her eyes. "We'll come back a bit later after I've got my rocks off on some hot bint behind a club and play some darts, that okay, _darling_?" She concedes. Always does. Cook makes things more entertaining.

*

They arrive outside Jeggers. The place they first met. Naomi doesn't know why Cook thinks this place has 'quality minges' because from what she remembers of the place, the girls in here weren't all that great. Not that she rates girls or anything. She's not gay. Her eyes scan over the line for the club and they fill with confusion. The line is huge and is trailing around the side of the building. She doesn't remember this place being this popular. Her eyes catch a massive sign at the front of the building. Some special gig is being held. Some promoter named Thomas. Cook smiles and drags her towards the front of the line. "Cook, what are you doing?"

"I know the doorman, babe, don't worry, let Cook handle this." He comes to a stop in front of Jeggers and smiles. "Alright, Thommo, how's things been, mate? How's Panda?" He asks politely and leans against a lamppost.

"Cook! It is so good to see you! I have been very well, thank you! How are you? Pandora is very good. We are very well." His smile is huge and nearly blinding, well, that's what Naomi thinks. He seems like a very nice guy.

"I've been alright, mate, cheers. Gonna let us in then, Thommo, mate? This is Naomi, by the way. She's my secret hobby," He winks at Thomas and he nods politely at her, offering out his hand. "Don't be a bitch, Naomikins, shake the man's hand!"

Naomi slaps Cook on the shoulder with a scowl. "I was going to, twat!" She takes Thomas's hand. "Nice to meet you, Thomas."

"You too, Naomi. Beautiful name." Naomi feels a blush coming. Buries it. She doesn't do blushing. Cook laughs and pats Naomi on the back.

"She's a bit shy. Not very good with people. Just like our JJ sometimes." Thomas nods his understanding. Naomi didn't know that Cook knew other people so well. She must have been kidding herself if she thought she was his only friend. She shakes her head and carries on listening to their conversation.

"I understand. Please, friends, go inside, there is fun to be had. Say hi to Panda for me. Again, nice to meet you." He nods at Naomi and lets the two past into the club. Some people call out as they get to go in before them. Naomi ignores them. They should have friends that work here if they want fast track services. Twats. Cooks saunters into the club; arms stretched out wide and laughing his face of as he sees how many people are in the place. Some rap group are jumping around on the stage behind us and the crowd are going mental for them. This place has changed alot since Naomi had last been here. There was an upper floor now and there hadn't been last time. Strobe lights filled the club and it felt like the ground was shaking from the music vibrations. "Alright, Blondie! The bet starts now! See you when I've shagged some very fit bird! Adios!" He calls and then leaves her standing on the brink of the sea of people. She laughs and then slips into the crowd. She's shoved about and stumbles a couple of times but she eventually reaches the bar and orders a white Russian. She's picky with what she drinks. "You look like you're having fun." A voice states from beside her.

Her eyes are the first things that move, rolling in their sockets. Her mouth is the next. "Look, I don't know you, I don't want to. Leave me alone. Dick." She smiles sweetly at the voice and her eyes widened. "Shit, Emily? I'm sorry. I thought you were some bloke trying to chat me up..."

Emily looks down at the bar for a second before doing her shot in front of her and forcing a smile. "Way to knock a girl's confidence. Grouchy?" Emily replies, her voice is softer than before though and she's not looking directly at Naomi. Naomi sighs. She always got to be the bitch.

"Nah, just....want to get wrecked. Care to join me?" Naomi asks and raises her drink towards Emily. The redhead nods in response and does another shot. Naomi sips her drink. She doesn't want to get wrecked too quick.

"Come here a lot, then?" Emily asks. It's a move to break the tension. The conversation already began awkwardly and it hadn't levelled just yet. "I mean, because I haven't seen you in here...?"

"I take it you come here a lot, then?" Naomi asks back.

"Answering a question with a question. Smooth." Emily giggles lightly and Naomi smiles, it's tight, but it's not fake.

"Fine, no, I don't come here a lot. Maybe a couple of times. Sure has changed since the last time I was here. You come here a lot?" Naomi replies and Emily nods.

"Yeah, Katie drags me here most of the time. It's not the best club ever, it's not the worst."

"Katie? Is that your twin?" Naomi asks and Emily nods her head. Emily's eyes soften a bit and Naomi takes that as the hint that this is something that Emily doesn't want to talk about. Neither does Naomi. She doesn't like to get involved in peoples shit, that just causes shit in the end. Naomi stops talking. The conversation becomes awkward again. Great, Naomi thinks, that's just what this needed. "Buy you a drink?" Naomi jokes.

"Sorry, I believe you're my drug dealer, not my booze hound." Emily replies. "Plus I've seen your taste in drink and...it's not for me." That's the confident Emily from last night.

"Oh, really? And what's wrong with my drink exactly?" Naomi asks scowling.

"It's...boring. Straight Beer is the best. Gets you pissed quicker." Emily replies. Naomi's eyes widen and then she laughs. She wasn't expecting to hear something that Cook would say from this petite little redhead. Well, she is a lesbian. Don't stereotype her, Naomi!

"Each to their own, I suppose," Naomi replies and downs the rest of her drink. She tries to forget that Emily's gay, but it's always in the back of her mind. Always there. Booze can help. She'll make sure it does. Orders another and it's gone again before either of them say anything else. "You okay?" Emily asks a bit worried.

"Fine, dance?" Naomi's standing. Ready to move, kinda hopes that Emily will say no....kinda hopes she'll say yes. It's the booze! She shakes her head and slaps herself mentally. Emily bits her lip, looks around and then finally nods and follows Naomi out onto the dance floor. It's awkward at first. She just needs to relax. Closes her eyes, feels the beat, the way it pumps along to the rhyme inside her, the way her head starts to relax and finally she dances. Emily's there with her. It's fun and they're laughing. "Hey, these guys aren't bad!" Emily calls over the thumping beat and Naomi nods and smiles back at her. They dance, Naomi doesn't know for how long. She just likes the feeling of it all; the atmosphere, the way Emily's just nearly pressed up against her but not quite, the moving sea of bodies around her and the thumping vibrations that consume all of them. They find their way out of the crowd, back towards the back of the club. Sweating like dogs, Naomi's breathing hard and Emily's flustered a little. "Drugs?" Slips out of Naomi's mouth before she thinks and she's looking through her bag for the rest of the stuff from last night. Can't find it. Finds pills instead. Fair enough.

"You ever done this?" Naomi holds up the pills to Emily and she shakes her head no. Looks nervous again. "They're 'E'; Ecstasy. Want to do them? You don't have to if you don't want to, it's fine." Emily looks around. Looks at Naomi, nods her head. "All, you gotta do is pop them in your mouth." Naomi puts her in her mouth and it sizzles away on her tongue. She'll blame it on the booze later. It's the only reasonable explanation for what she does next. Has to be. She reaches over and pushes the pill into Emily's mouth. Emily's mouth closes around the finger and sucks lightly; Naomi bites her lip and pulls back. Emily smiles warmly at her. "Oh." Is all that Naomi says as she looks at her finger. Emily's smiling warmly at her with her chocolate brown eyes and Naomi's piercing blue ones are staring back.

"Yeah, let's go fucking mental!" Cook roars from the dance floor. "Oh, for fuck sake!" Naomi shakes her head. Cook's got to neon green tubes in his hands and a whistle in his mouth. His spinning his arms around and blowing the whistle along to the bead of the music. The strobe lighting is flashing all over the club and Cook is jumping around. Naomi just laughs. That's Cook. He hasn't pulled yet though. "You're friends with him?" Emily asks with a smile.

"Sadly." Naomi replies.

"I'm just going to go to the bathroom quick. I'll be right back." Emily smiles at Naomi as she walks away. The blonde's watch the girl's hips, swaying side to side and Naomi just watches. Doesn't try to think about it. The pills take effect. Everything becomes faster. Harder. She's jumping along to the beat with Cook within the next five minutes. Even ends up with one of the neon tubes in her hand as he slides his arms around her shoulders and they jump up and down along with everyone else. Emily doesn't come back. Naomi notices it in the back of her mind.

She slips out of the crowd when she spots the familiar red hair near the bar. She heads over and slips her arm around the redhead shoulders and looks down. Her eyes widen when she see's Emily's tits. "Ems, your tits have gotten bigger." She doesn't know why. It _is _the drugs that make her reach out and grab them. "Wow, nice." She doesn't realise she's caress them.

"Get off me, you dyke!" A high pitch voice hisses and she's shoved back.

"Emily?" Naomi asks confused. Her visions blurred. That'll be the drugs. They don't always help social situations it seems. "What the fuck? Why'd you push me?" Her vision clears.

"I'm not Emily, you skank. I'm Katie. Dirty little lesbian. Stay away from my sister." Katie hisses as she walks past. "She's not gay." Her lapdog of a boyfriend follows. Naomi smiles. Well, that's the way it works, isn't it? Emily's the nice one, Katie's the bitch, Emily's gay and Katie's straight. Twin's that are complete opposites. Naomi doesn't try to go after Katie and tell her she's not gay or sorry for mistaking her for Emily. It's not the drugs that make her not give a fuck, well, it is a little, But Naomi Campbell doesn't apologise, especially not to bitches. She doesn't see Emily for the rest of the night. Disappeared. Finds Cook.

"I heard you boob grab, Katie Fitch? Nice one, Naomikins! Knew you'd get some once you got some drugs in you. How was it? I've seen those tits. They are blooming nice. God, I'd love to have a go on them." Cook's laughing and patting her on the back like one of the lads.

"Look, Cook! I'm not gay! Okay? Get over it! Two, I didn't come onto her I thought she was her sister and the drugs weren't letting me think straight and three, you'd never have a chance with that bitch. I've spoken to her for two seconds and I already know that no one gets up that valley between her legs unless they're packing someone mighty big or has a car that can level out with a small cock. And you don't have a car so it looks like your fucked, but not literally." Naomi snips and Cook just laughs. Nothing ever gets him down. Naomi wishes she was like that sometimes.

"Channelling your inner Cook? Good on you, Blondie! You don't think I could fuck Katie Fitch?" Cook waggles his eyebrows at her.

"Nope."

"Challenge accepted." He smirks at Naomi and then he dives into the crowd again.

"Oh....fuck it. Have fun!" She calls over the music and then orders another drink. White Russian. It's not fucking boring.

*

She sees him before he even gets to her and tries to convince her boyfriend to make a move but Danny's always been hard to get away from his mates. "Alright, babes, wanna ride on the Cookie Train? First stop; orgasm!" he gestures with his tongue and Katie makes a disgusted face.

"Danny, Danny, let's go. This guys fucking annoying. Let's go somewhere else tonight, babes." Katie nags in her boyfriend's ear.

"Shh, a min, babe! I'm talking to the lads, gives us a second." He doesn't even look at her. Cook notes that down in his head. Cook's all about getting what he wants, and tonight he wants Katie's Fitch under him. She'll get over it.

"If he's too busy for you, babe, I'll keep you entertained. Come on, come dance with me, Fitch." He offers.

"Fuck off." She spits at him and he just laughs. "Come on, Danny, let's go somewhere a little bit more private. I'll...." She whispers in his ear and Danny turns to look at her.

"Really?" he asks and she nods with a smile and a flutter of her eyelashes. Always get's what she wants, Cook's mind says. "Give me ten minutes, babe, and then we'll go do that." He smiles at her and she forces a smile back. As soon as he turns round to his mates again she sighs and tries not to look disheartened. She drifts away from him, letting his hand go, and towards the entrance of the club. She pushes her way through the people trying to pile in and feels the rush of wind against her face, refreshing. She's smoking a spliff up by the side of the club when Cook finds her. She sees him and rolls her eyes, turning away from him and heading down the rest of the alley and back into the streets.

"Where you going, Katiekins?" He grabs her arm and she sighs.

"Fuck off, Cook." She replies.

"Oh, come on, Katie. Why don't you like me?" He smirks at her and jumps in front of her. "Everybody likes the Cookie Monster!"

"No, Cook, nobody likes you. Except that stupid, dyke Campbell. You've got no friends. Get away from me!" She replies, bored.

Cook's hurt. He doesn't want to admit it and he never will. He doesn't usually let people get to him. He let down his guard for a second. It stings, sure. He knows she's right as well. Most of the college hate him, he'll get over it. He's got Naomi, that doesn't matter. She's walking down the alley before Cook thinks to say anything. "Doesn't it piss you off?"

"What?" She snaps and turns back to look at him. He smirks and walks towards her.

"That we're the same, Katiekins?"

"We're not the same. You're disgusting." She hisses and takes a drag on her spliff. He takes it out of her hand and doesn't even ask for permission, just takes a drag and hands it back to her.

"Cheers," He nods at her. "Yeah, we are, dear. You don't have any friends, either. Sure, you've got your sister, babe, but she _has_ to like you. Family, you see. No one at college likes you. They just follow you around because you're 'it' but 'it' ain't all that, babe. We live off sex. Sex is good. It's what we are, babe. Wanna feel good? Give me a call sometime." He winks at her. He's upset her. He knows it. She deserves it. Well, that's what he thinks.

"Fuck you, Cook. You're probably the biggest dickhead ever...cunt!" She replies.

"Cunt? Well, you are what you eat, babe." He waggles his tongue and she makes a face.

"You're repulsive."

"You're fit."

Their lips find each other. It's sloppy, all teeth and frantic. Just the way Cook likes. Just the way Katie likes it, too. He's pulling her skirt up and pinning her to the wall. Trousers unbuckled and hips meeting. Frantic, the best way, that is.

*

Naomi sees her at college. Emily. She's different. A lot different. Without the booze and the drugs to boost her confidence. She's shy and clutching onto her work folder like it's the only thing floating in a sea filled with nothing. Clinging. They look at each other and she smiles softly. That's all. She waits for him at lunch.

"Naomikins!" He booms. He sits down in front of her with a massive grin on his face. "Cookie is gonna win that twenty quid! Look," he throws down a thong on the table in front of her. Leopard print. Naomi's eyes bulged.

"You didn't?" She nearly needs to cover her mouth.

"Oh, I did. Goes like a machine that girl! And that mouth is a bloody dream around my cock! If I was the type to settle down Katie Fitch, she may be a bitch but I'd definitely put up with it for her experience in the sack. So, I'm keeping the twenty tonight, right?"

"Yeah...only one problem, Cook."

"What's that?" he asks still smiling.

"You have to wear a different shirt and have sex again tonight....with Katie Fitch." His smile drops.

_Checkmate, Campbell._

She smiles to herself.

**A/N: So, there's chapter two? What did you guys think? Okay? Let me know. And thanks for reading you guys rule!**


	3. Drunken Sex Games

**Disclaimer: I don't own Skins! I wish I did though!**

**Chapter Three:**

"You won't do it." She calls over her shoulder as Cook walks along behind her. "And stop looking at my arse, you perv!" She scowls at him and he holds his hands up in defence.

"Hey, just admiring the sites, babe, calm down otherwise you'll just get yourself in a tizzy, stupid bint. And I will do it, bet your arse I will." He winks and opens his locker next to hers. Easier if they're near each other, that'd be Cook's excuse. Never would admit that he wanted her to have her locker next to him. Cook's weird and Naomi doesn't mind that. She pulls open her locker and shoves her copy of 'Hamlet' inside, along with the rest of her books from her lessons of the day and then pulls out her bag. Cook's pulling out spliff's and shoving them in his pockets, supplies for later, no doubt. "So, what are we doing tonight?" She asks and slams her locker closed, leaning on it to face her grinning best friend.

"We, my dear," he slides his arm around her shoulder and ruffles her hair with his other hand. "Are attending a party at the Fitches residents, where I am going to try and pull Katie Fitch for a second time. It will not be an easy task. May obstacles will be blocking my path." Cook smirks and Naomi forces hers down.

"Yeah, mainly that bitches huge tits. She must have been high as a kite last night if she let you in the sacred valley between her thighs. And how the hell did you managed to get her to let you keep her thong? Didn't take Katie for the sort to go commando. Looks like she always needs something wedged there, just to remind her that her vaginas still intact from all the deconstruction implemented by various men of shapes and sizes, if you know what I mean." She's not one to usually laugh at her own jokes, but this is Katie fucking Fitch! One conversation and she already wants to cave the girls head in with a rock! She bites her lips as the chuckle passes her lips, but Cook's roaring with laughter beside her.

"Nice one, Naomikins, now you see why I'm friends with you, right? Bitch is in your blood, Blondie, don't wanna get on the wrong side of it....only if you're up for it that is." He winks and laughs, she smiles and laughs. Friends. They go to Naomi's after college, it's only a fifteen minute walk from the college and sometimes he'll even push her bike for her, if he's in a good enough mood, that is. This time he's pushing it, past the sea of cars and forest green lawns and finally stopping outside the Campbell's house. It's small, but it's enough. She opens the door with her keys and heads towards the door, doesn't want her mum to spot them, just wants to get to her room. Her mum pisses her off.

"Hey, dear, is that you? Good day at college?" Gina calls from the kitchen. Naomi sighs, she acknowledges her as Gina, doesn't know why just always has.

"Yeah, fine thanks." Doesn't ask how she is in return and tries to make her way up the stairs. Cook has other plans. He always does this. Twat.

"Gina!" He roars as he heads for the kitchen.

"Hello, James," She smiles at him as he walks into the kitchen. He pulls the woman into a hug. "How are you, dear? How's college?"

"I'm fine thanks, Gina. Just been keeping myself busy, you know? Hanging out with your troublemaker of a daughter. Some of the stories I could tell you," He winks and she chuckles along with him. "How's my second favourite woman in the world? Well, after the Queen that is. Even that old bint would be worth a go." Gina doesn't pay attention. She never goes when Cook gets vulgar, selective hearing, does it to Naomi as well. "How's the rally business holding up? Still holding signs in the rain till the wee hours of the morning?"

"Yeah, got one coming up this Saturday, nothing you'd two be interested in though. You staying the night, James?" She asks while making herself a cup of tea.

"Dunno, up to your daughter, ain't it? What you think, Naomikins? Up for a night you'll never forget?" he winks. He always bloody winks. Gina's finished making her tea now and is sitting down in front of the paper, sipping at it and flicking through the pages.

"You come anywhere near me. I will kill you."

"Oh, dear, don't be so moody! James is only joking, aren't you, dear?" She doesn't look at him. Probably on the politics page and not really listening. Fair play. Cook can drive anyone up the wall after a while with the way he talks dirt.

"He isn't. Twat." She smiles sweetly at him and then heads for the stairs. Her mother doesn't notice. Cook says to Gina he'll be upstairs but she just nods, too into the paper to give a toss about anything else. Each to their own, Cook thinks. He bounds up the creaking stairs and past the doors until he reaches the room at the end of the hall, with the sign that says 'Fuck Off.' on the door. Cook loves that sign. He smirks and pushes it open and steps into Naomi's room. It's average size, dark green shelves at the opposite ends with books stacked on it, a double bed in the middle of it with yellow sheeting and a flower pattern on it (most likely Gina's doing), a laptop on a desk in the far corner and a mirror and dresser a metre away from the foot of the bed. The walls are blue. Cook likes it. He jumps on the bed next to Naomi and relaxes himself. "Why do you act like it's the first time you've been in my room everything time you come in it?" Naomi asks with a scowl as she's forced to pick up some paperwork that Cook has knocked on the floor with his bouncing on the bed.

"Because Naomikins, it is always a privilege to be in a girls room, you never know when you might have to leave in a hurry with unfinished business, that usually happens when the boyfriend comes home early," He laughs to himself. "You're rooms...cushty."

"I'm sorry, did you just say 'cushty?" Naomi blinks in disbelief with a small smile making it's way onto her face.

Cook eyes bulge. "No."

"Liar. You little Pikey!" She teases and he waggles his eyebrows.

"Fine, if I'm a pikey then you're a lesbian!" He jabs back and Naomi scowls at him.

"It's just your wishful thinking Cook. You'll never see me in between a girls legs, cunt." She makes her way over to the dresser and sorts through the stuff.

"Never seen you in between a guy's legs either, though, have I, Blondie? Want me to be the first? I'll give you a lesson in blowjob 101, just put your lips round my penis and suck. Easy as pie." She doesn't reply to the last bit, focuses on the first. Unintentionally. Naomi scrunches her eyes shut. He's got her there. She can't remember the last time she kissed a guy, let alone the last time she thought about kissing one. "Mirrors were invented for a reason, babe."

"What?" She asks with confusion and looks back at him.

"They reflect stuff." He winks. Oh shit. He'd seen her face. Cunt.

"Don't call me 'babe', pig." Is the only thing she can think to say in reply. Ignores the obvious. The obvious is shit.

"Alright, Blondie, calm down. Just pointing out what they do. Very observant me. Right, now get your kit off and, I can't believe I'm saying this, then get your kit back on," Cook looks like he's dying inside after saying that. Once a poon hound, always a poon hound. "And then we'll head to the Fitches."

"You okay?" She teases and pats him on the shoulder.

He smirks. "I'm fine, just gotta take one for the team sometimes, I suppose, babe." He winks. He's never down. Good. "Right, I need some action so let's go! My balls need to get in the next two hours or I'll go fucking mental, Blondie. Off you trot and make sure you don't take too long. Like I always say! Time is pussy. Go." She's goes. Gets ready. Does it quickly as well. She doesn't know why she's even going tonight, even if Katie does let her in, it'll be as awkward as fuck. Emily's going to be there...she hopes, and she doesn't like that.

*

The Fitches live on the other side of Bristol so they decide to take a bus. Cook is forced to share a seat with a overweight, sixty year old man with greasy hair and an out of control beard. He grumbles a 'Fuck sake' when the 'Can I sit here?' meets his ears and he's forced to nod his head and then look the other way out the window. Naomi can smell the man from here, her noses scrunches, but at the same time Cook's face is bloody priceless. She smiles and listens to the next track on her Ipod. They arrive fifteen minutes later. Off the bus two minutes and Cook's drenched by a speeding car hitting a puddle. Naomi's hand reaches her mouth and tries to stifle the laugh. Fails. Her eyes feel with tears and she's clutching her sides in seconds. Cook smirks; it's not his normal smirk though. It's the one he puts on to make it look like he's fine when he's getting angry. Cook doesn't let people get him down but he does get angry. "W-w-wet?" Naomi manages between breaths and Cook gives her the finger. She laughs some more.

*

He knocks, she waits and Katie answers. She takes one look at the pair and moves to close the door on them. Cook's foot moves and stops it in it's tracks. "What do you think you're doing, babe? Let's get this party started!"

"Fuck off, Cook. You're not coming in." Katie replies, she looks tired. Party preparations and what not, Naomi thinks.

"And why's that, babe? Don't you want a round two with the Cookie Monster?" He waggles his eyebrows and she looks away from him and at her. Naomi looks anywhere but the two of them. This is wrong. This is awkward. Cook doesn't do awkward. Katie doesn't do awkward.

"No, just go, Cook. I haven't got time for you. My boyfriends here so piss off!" She moves to close the door again, but Cook's not moving. He's persistent. One day that'll be the death of him.

"Fine, we'll just stay for the drinks and I'll leave you and your boyfriend to it? We won't cause any trouble. Come on, Katiekins?" He smiles at her. He actually fucking smiles. Naomi cringes, this definitely isn't right. He moves up and tucks a stray strand of hair behind Katie's ear for her and runs his fingers along her cheek.

She shakes her head away from his touch, like she's been burned. Cook's still smiling. "Fine, just fucking don't come near me, yeah? Get wrecked, burn down my house or steal! I don't care. Cause any trouble and you'll have Danny to deal with, got that? Good. Fuck you both. You look a state." Cook looks down at his wet shirt and laughs. She smiles like the biggest bitch in the world at the both of us and opens the door. Cook piles in and in two minutes he's already through half a can of beer. "Well, that was fun." Naomi presses, not too hard though.

"What can I say? Cookie always gets what he wants, babe. Knew she'd let me in eventually." He smirks and holds up his can in a clinking position. Naomi doesn't clink. Cook doesn't care, just downs the rest of the can and crushes it in his hand before throwing it away.

"Have fun getting into her knickers tonight. From the looks of it she's got a chastity belt on." Naomi smirks.

"My cocks magic, babe. Opens the lock to any hole, if you catch my drift." He's smoking as well now. Naomi wonders if he is actually magic the way these damaging chemical goods and alcoholic beverage seem to be in his hand at every second. It's a spliff. Naomi has a toke. Helps her relax. Feels better. Cook's taking his shirt off and throwing it away, his eyes are staring at the pair in the corner. Katie and presumably her boyfriend Danny.

"Don't do anything too stupid, James. You don't want to end up in the hospital again, do you?" She hates having to play the part of mother sometimes....and secretly loves it.

"Wanna change the bet?" Cook's not looking at her. Her face becomes one of confusion.

"What to?" She asks.

"I bet you that even though Katie Fitches boyfriend is here tonight I can get her to shag me? I'll pull her without a top on either." He's smirking.

"Why do you care so much about fucking her?" Naomi replies. Cook's face is the one that gets to be confused now; he shakes his head and pats her on the shoulder.

"Naomikins, Naomikins, Naomikins! Men want the unattainable! Katie Fitch is near the top of the ladder and she's a great shag, love a repeat visit. If you don't wanna change the bet to that, how about this!" He leans over and whispers in her ear.

"Really? Not a chance. Not if she didn't know."

"Interested?" He smirks and she nods. She's up for anything. She doesn't know how Cook would even go about it. "Then it's on, Blondie! Let's get this party started! Let's go fucking mental! Let's go fucking mental! La la la la! La la la la!" His voice gets quieter as the music booms over it. Naomi's left standing on her own. Head's for the booze table. Best place in the world. Five cans of cider later and she's feeling the effects, the worlds swaying a little and her eyes are heavy. Dancing is the next step towards a good evening. She's dancing. Someone presses up against her and she likes the feel of the body. Pushes back into it and grinds. Arms up in the air and twirling to the beat. She's in heaven. "Hey." Is whispered in her ear. She turns and is greeted with Emily's face. It's gorgeous. Her pale skin sparkles in the darkness and makes her look clearer than anything else in the room and her chocolate brown eyes drawn Naomi into a place where she can't think let alone feel. "Hey." She whispers back. They just dance. They don't stop looking at each other. They're content. It's nice.

The music switches off and Cook's in front of everyone. "Right, this is what we're going to do lads and ladies! We're gonna play a drinking game. It doesn't have a specific name but it's been called many a thing over the years. Up for a laugh guys?" The crowd seem up for it. Nodding along and some muttering yes. "Right, so here's what happens." A few minutes later we're all sitting in a circle, well, the ones who want to play. Katie's not to happy at Cook. She's sending him evils and I heard her having a go at him in the hall. 'I told you to not cause any trouble!', 'it's not trouble, Katiekins, it's a game and trust me you're going to like it!'. The rules are simple. It's a clash of spin the bottle meets blind detective (wink murder). Someone goes into a cupboard and waits, only one other person knows who that is and they can't play that round. Then the bottle is spun and the person it lands on also has to go into the cupboard as well. They have to take a shot of vodka, a toke on a spliff and then chug the rest of their beer before going in. It's a sex game that gets you pissed and fucked. Cook loves it. Everyone knows the rules. Katie was convinced to play by her boyfriend. 'Don't worry, babe, you don't have to do anything that isn't me and my giant cock' he hugged her. Naomi was sickened.

They'd been playing for a while now. Naomi was sitting next to her. Emily. "What you going to do if you have to go in the cupboard? Gonna get some action?" Naomi touched Emily lightly on the shoulder. They were all pissed here. No harm. Emily smiled back and grabbed Naomi's forearm.

"Maybe, if that person's lucky. I hope they are." She giggles and Naomi giggled as well. She didn't really understand, but booze is booze. Cook's turn to pick the cupboard. Naomi's eyes widen when he tapes her on the back and she's forced to walk towards the cupboard. She opens it, takes the shot, the toke and then chugs. Her head feels like it's just had a massive explosion of colours. She supposes it's Cook's way of getting people more 'up for it'. She staggers into the darkness and leans against the back wall. Waits. Takes five minutes for the door to creak and a little bit of light to break into the darkness, doesn't see a face, doesn't see much. There's some noise of stagger and fumbling but finally someone's in front of her. Breath. Shallow and low. She can feel it against her lips. It's warm, it makes her want to edge towards it. Take lips in her own and pin the person against the wall. She doesn't.

Lips lightly brush against hers. It's soft, hesitant and full of want. Breath. It's like a beat against her skin, makes her toes curl and her stomach clench. Soft lips press against hers and she sighs, pushes back. Wants this. Her hands slowly move to the arms of the person she's kissing. Gripping lightly as the other person's hands run slowly down her forearms, tickles lightly, it's nice. Naomi deepens the kiss. Her tongue pushes against the lips and they give in. Want this as much as her. Tongues lightly swirl, tentatively. Strawberries. It's all Naomi tastes and it's driving her insane. She's drowning in it. Then it's gone. Time up. It's lost and she hates it. Wants it back. The taste, the drowning, the want! Needs it! She waits five minutes after they've left, like the rules say, and then comes back into the room. Tries her best not to look flustered. She sits back down next to Emily and smiles. Emily smiles back.

*

"Get us a drink, will ya, Danny, mate?" Cook asks and Danny nods.

"Sure, what you want, mate?"

"I think there's some bud in the fridge, can you go have a look for me? Love that shit. Gets you pissed as fuck!" he smirks and Danny nods and head's for the door. Cook closes his eyes and feels the tap on his shoulder. Thanks Naomi.

He does the shot, toke and chug. Breaths out the smoke hard and bounces into the darkness. Sits on a box in there and waits. Pussy on his mind.

*

Katie looks at Danny's empty spot as the blindfold is slipped over her eyes. Smiles. It's okay for her to cheat because she's got a boyfriend and it's her party. She doesn't care. She's lead towards the cupboard and walks inside. She's pounced on. Lips finding hers in the darkness, sloppy, passionate, frantic. A hand cups her and she groans, bites down on the neck of the kisser and suckles. He growls in her ear and she drops to her knees in front of him, unbuckling his trousers and pulling him out. Her mouth finds him.

*

"Where's Katie?" Danny asks. Bud in his hand. His mate points towards the cupboard. "Who's she in there with?"

"Dunno, mate, been in there a while, though, ten minutes or something." Danny moves across the room and heads for the cupboard. Pulls open the door and drops his bud on the floor. Katie's groaning, loud. Her hands are splayed on the wall in front of her and Cook's got her bent over at the waste. Thrusting into her with the biggest grin on his face ever. He turns round and sees Danny. Winks at him. "Katie? What the fuck are you doing!?" Naomi hears this. Moves over. Shit. Katie reaches for the blindfold and gasps when she sees Danny standing outside of the cupboard. Feels sick when she sees Cook behind her. Naked.

"Danny, babe, I didn't know it wasn't you! You were missing from the circle. I thought you were in the cupboard, I swear!" She tries to explain. Pushes Cook away and gathers her clothes, didn't take much off. Apparently Cook doesn't like to waste time. Cunt. Danny's jaw clenches and he stays silent for a long moment. "It's okay, babe, I know you wouldn't cheat on me." He looks at Cook. Punches him. Fair play, Naomi thinks. "You ever go near my girlfriend again I'll fucking kick your head in, understand?"

"Hey, man, it's not my fault if I can satisfy your girl and you can't! She's a dream in the sack, mate. I love the way she feels." He smirks and gets another punch in return. Typical Cook. He buckles his trousers back up. "I believe you owe me twenty quid." He puts his hand out to Naomi and she sighs, handing it over. He got Katie Fitch to fuck him in a cupboard without her knowing it was him. Well played Cook. You win this round.

"Oh, twat!" Danny punches Cook again. Then one of his mates does and then another. Cook goes down. The kicking starts. Cook doesn't fight back. He's taking a hell of a beating. Naomi's pushing back Danny. "Get off him! Get the fuck off him, you dickhead!" She doesn't usually get protective. Only of Cook. Cause he needs it. They stop. Katie makes them. Says he's had enough and that it's okay. She still wants Danny. It's silence. The room is just silence. Cook moves and pushes himself to his feet. His face is going to be swollen tomorrow and he's got a couple of nasty cuts on him. Emily's holding Naomi's hand and she doesn't even know it. She grips it back. Cook starts clapping. Clapping. "Let's go fucking mental! Let's go fucking mental! Let's go fucking mental! La la la la! La la la la! Ha ha ha ha!" he's laughing and clapping.

"What's wrong with him?" She hears Katie whisper in disgust as the room just stares at him.

"See you all a bit later. Keep your dogs under watch because I'm the bitch tamer and the Cookie monster!" he calls with a middle finger and then he's gone out the door. Naomi follows him and Emily follows Naomi. Still holding hands.

"Cook! Where are you going?" Naomi calls. Cook doesn't answer just keeps on walking down the alley and then turns down another street. She sighs.

Emily's hand touches her shoulder. "Hey, don't worry about him. He'll be fine." Emily tries to comfort.

"And what do you know about him? What do you know? It's always been me and him ever since I got here and now it's all fucking up!" Naomi snaps and Emily recoils. "Oh, shit, Ems! I'm sorry. I'm just...I'm just fucked out of my head right now." She laughs and sits on the curb.

"I think we all are." Emily sits next to her and rests her head on her shoulder. "Why don't we do something outside of college?"

"Like what?" Naomi's smoking now. Emily soon follows.

"Cinema, bowling, get fucked, bike ride or something? I don't know. Just we're not in any of the same classes at college and parties don't really seem to end that well for the pair of us. Be nice to have someone to see outside of everything, you know? Friends."

"Yeah, I think I can do Friday." Naomi smiles. Emily smiles back.

*

_Sort it out Cook. _She texts him that. He doesn't reply.

_Oh, I meant to ask, did you get any action in the cupboard? :P – Emily_. They'd been texting for a while.

_Yeah, did you? Did that person get lucky? – Naomi_

_Yeah, I did and I don't know. I was blindfolded. – Emily._

_I wasn't. – Naomi_

They don't speak anymore. Tries not to think about that possibility. Thinks about Friday. Looks forward to it.

**A/N: Chapter three! Hope you like it! Tell me what you think :P Thanks for the reviews guys you rock! :D**


	4. Part One: Friday Night Lights

**Disclaimer: I don't own Skins! I wish I did though!**

**Chapter Four:**

It's not Friday. It's five minutes until Friday. It's not a date. It's not. Nope. No way. Not in a million years is this a date....is it? Naomi's hands cover her face and she sighs. Just because Emily's gay doesn't mean that she fancies her. She knows that but every time she sees the redhead that's all she can think; that Emily's going to pounce on her and tear her clothes off. Not gay. Don't need to think those sort of things. She pulls at her hair and blows out an exasperated breath. She looks in the mirror on her dresser and she looks tired. Tired of this already and it hasn't even happened and she doesn't even know what this is. She just knows that it's big and it's driving her insane even though it's nothing. Her mind is fucked. Her phone vibrates and saves her from her mind. Thank you Cook. "And what do you want?" She asks sternly down the phone.

"Was ringing to ask why you're still up, babe, way past your bed time, ain't it?" She can actually hear him smirk down the phone.

"Oh, really? And how would you know if I'm still awake or not?" She asks in reply and he laughs lightly.

"Cause your bedroom light is still on! Well, unless you're scared of the dark, Blondie? Are you? Bogey man gonna getcha?" He mocks and she rolls her eyes.

"No, I'm scared of creepy, paedo's that hang outside my house and watch to see if my bedroom lights are on. That's why I carry maze, you see. Never know what kind of pervs you're dealing with nowadays." She teases and he laughs.

"Fair enough, well played." He replies and she laughs.

"So, I haven't seen or heard from you in three days and you don't even bother to come see me at my house? Oh, no! This isn't one of infamous 'Cook calls the girl only to tell her that he will not be seeing her again' is it? And I think I need you to explain to me how that solution works better then the classic 'Don't call'?"

"Well, it's simple, ain't it, Blondie?" He's moving now. She can hear the rustle of the bushes near her house. He'll be inside soon. He's got a key. She didn't give it to him. _Gina _did. "If you have sex with a girl and she lets you into her most private of areas. It's only fair play if you call her and be honest with her and say 'Yeah, babes, you had a nice cooch, I enjoyed it, but I won't be seeing you again. It's not you I'm just a many horse bloke, if you get me?' It's only manners, ain't it? Or don't you have any, dear?" He's fiddling for the key, it's in the lock, he's pushing open the door and heading for her room. She hangs up. The door opens; it's quiet though, Cook would typically burst in here shouting his head off but for some reason he doesn't like to upset Gina. See's her as a mum I think. Fair enough at least she can be someone's parent.

Her face still has disgust at his last comment as he enters her room and smiles at her. "Manners, yeah, cause telling some girl you had a good time in her cooch but you _don't_ want to do it again isn't contradictory at all? Your logic is flawed, _James._" He just holds up the middle finger and that's enough to say 'I don't care'. She stands in front of him and looks expectant. "So?"

"So what?" he shrugs at her and pulls a fag out of his jean pocket. "Fuck sake, snapped! You got a roach, babe? Gonna have to bridge this; worth salvaging." She heads over to her bag and pulls out a packet of Rizla. She hands it to him and he nods his thanks, licking the paper and rolling it around the fag. "Ta-da! Right, anyway, you were saying something, Naomikins?" He sparks up and smokes. She goes into her bag and pulls out some rizla and tobacco. Rolls up. Easier then letting Cook know she had some fags he could of used but didn't want to let him because he's been a twat.

"So, I'm waiting." She states. It's not a question or a request. Cook knows the drill. They always do this.

"I ain't apologizing to you if that's what you want." He's not looking at her. She only notices now that his face is still in pretty bad condition. He's got two black eyes, a rough scabbed up lip, a cut on his eyebrow over his left eye and a bruised yellow neck. She doesn't like to see him like this. It makes her feel weak. He's the strong on and yet so easy to hurt. She reaches out and touches the side of his face with the yellow bruising, just lightly, but it's enough to make Cook flinch away from her touch and glare at her. "What you think you're doing?" He's still angry.

"Wanna talk about it?" She takes a drag off her rollie and sits down on the bed next to him, but away from him.

"Talk about what? There ain't shit to talk about. I was coming round to see if you wanted to get fucking bladdered, but if you're gonna be a boring bitch I think I'll head off." He's starting to get off the bed and heading for the door. She wishes that sometimes he'd talk about what's going on. She feels like rolling her eyes because she's not exactly the most open person you'll meet, okay, she's basically the same as Cook in girl form on the emotional level. Wishes they were closer. They're close, but not that close.

"I've got vodka." She calls and he stops. A little booze never hurt anyone. Right?

*

They're wrecked. So far gone that they have to lean on each other for support. Bristol at night isn't a particularly nice looking place and Naomi's watching a couple of chav's kick a beer bottle across from ground and into the side of a car. "They...are so cool!" She blurts and they burst into laughter.

"Blondie, I remember when Freddie and I used to do that. We'd spend all hours of the night trailing around here; kicking stuff. Good life then it was. Miss it sometimes." He's looking out over the park.

"What happened to Freddie, Cook?" She's called him Cook and that means that she's being serious. He knows that and she knows that. He hates her when she tries to 'get to know him', they're ain't no need for none of that crap in life. It's about fun and Naomi's about that most of the time, but the rest of the time she's like everyone bloody else and it does his fucking nut in. Stupid bint.

"Don't worry about it, what's going on with you and Emily? Saw the way you two were chumming up the other night. You gonna hit that?" She knows she's been shot down. He doesn't want to talk about it and she does. That'll always be the way it is though. He swigs the bottle and she looks back at him.

"James for the last fucking time! If you call me or imply that I'm gay one more time I'm actually going to punch you in the face. No joke." It's too tempting. He can't resist it.

"Lezza."

He recoils with a surprised look on his face. Naomi's not slapped him. She's punched him in the jaw and then stumbled to the ground beside him. "You punched me? You actually fucking punched me Naomikins!" He starts to laugh and bends over to look down at her smiling happy on the floor. "Alright, alright, alright, Rocky! I get the blooming message, okay? You're all about the cock and not about the clam. I'll note that down. Nice swing, by the way, nearly took me off my feet for a second. I know you're not gay or anything, but have you considered a sport or something." He's teasing her now and she's smiling back up at him from the floor. "How about rugby? All you butch dykes are good at that game." He's laughing and she shoots him a scowl.

"Right, that's it!" She calls and tickles him. Cook's one weakness.

"Not cool!" He roars as she pins him to the floor and tickles his sides relentlessly. He's laughing like a mad man and trying to push her off. Eventually she lets up and he's breathing so hard for air that it looks like his head might explode. She's knackered from it as well and they just sit there.

"Emily's gay." It slips out and she doesn't even know why. It just happens and Cook laughs and nods at her.

"Naomikins, I think everyone other then Katie knows that. Emily's as gay as they come. I've seen her check out your arse on occasion, be wary." He winks at her and she knows it a joke, kinda wishes it wasn't, kinda glad it is.

"Sure, whatever you say, Cook. That is just wishful thinking." Naomi replies and shifts up to grab the vodka bottle that is lying on its side. She grips the top and then swigs at it. It burns her throat, Cook told her that one day it'll become an acquired taste and it won't burn as much anymore or she'll get used to it. That day hasn't come and every time she drinks the stuff she wants to spit it back up....but then she keeps on drinking anyway.

"Too fucking right it is love. You two together? That's a site I'd play any to see and any to be part of. She may be gay but I bet my cock could make her think otherwise for a night." Naomi rolls her eyes and Cook continues on about his exploits.

"She's invited me out tomorrow." It sits there in the air for a minute and Cook stops laughing and looks at her.

"What like a date?"

"Maybe."

"You gonna go?" He's serious now.

"I don't fucking know." She's the one getting defensive now. The boozes have loosened her tongue but not enough to open up about all her worries.

"Chill out, Blondie. Just go with it, init? I mean, if it's a date then you can just tell her you ain't into her like that, but if it's not then just get pissed and have a good time. It's still early days in your friendship so nothing to bad can happen." She knows his right.

"Whatever." She knows it means thanks. He knows it to. Winks at her and takes a drag on his fag.

"What about you and the Fitch Bitch?"

"Time to get you home, Blondie. You have a full day tomorrow and I don't. Let's get you back to your beddie byes and then in the morning I'll sort you out with the Cookie hangover cure." He's grabbing her arm and pulling her up to feet, drags her home and places her down on the bed. She sleeps. Cook was always good at avoiding. Cunt.

*

College goes by fast. Really fast. If she wanted today to happen then she's sure it would have been impossibly slow, but it's speeding towards her. The halls are blurring with the figures of students that are eager for the weekend to begin and have another excuse to get pissed and fuck some random person. Good times for some. Good times for most people. Cook did give her his hangover cure in the morning which was one spliff just because College to help you relax a little. It wasn't a cure, Cook just wanted to get high. Naomi didn't mind because it did help her relax. She didn't exactly know how tonight was going to happen. Emily wasn't in any of her classes and they hadn't spoke since the night of the Fitches party....maybe tonight was going to happen?

_Hey, Naomi, still on for tonight? Meet you after college? – Emily. _Naomi felt like laughing. Just on cue.

_Sure. Out front in 15. – Naomi_

She makes her way to the front of the college and stands by the steps. Not a date. Nerves fill her and she finds herself reaching for her fag packet subconsciously. The fag takes the edge of a little and she feels less stressed. Thank god for nicotine. Emily's late. People are staring at her. She's been standing here a while and people are starting to get curious, long gazes. Naomi sucks in a breath, throws her fag to the floor and turns away from the college. She gets about ten steps away when she hears that familiar voice calling her name and then Emily standing in front of her. "Naomi! Hey!" She stops in front of Naomi and breathes heavily. "Sorry...my lecturer wanted to talk to me about something...." Silence.

"It's fine, don't worry." Naomi doesn't look at Emily. Cook's words are hitting her hard from last night_. Naomikins, I think everyone other then Katie knows that. Emily's as gay as they come._ She feels people staring; judging her, are they a couple? Emily's gay, does that mean Naomi's gay? She can hear all the questions in her head already and she can't stand it. "Come on," She hisses and pulls Emily away from the college. Tugs on her arm until they are ten minutes away from the building and out of site from anyone they know. "What's wrong?" It's Emily's turn to look down at the floor. Her eyes are sad. She thinks she's done something wrong. God, nice going, Naomi. You're such a bitch.

"Nothing, just fucking hate that place. As soon as I've got my A levels I'm outta that shit hole." Naomi tries to smile reassuringly at Emily. This situation needs drugs and booze; it makes Emily so much easier to be around. There isn't any though. Naomi doesn't even know what Emily's got planned. "What are we doing then?" She's still trying to reassure Emily that it's not her fault. It isn't. It's her fucking paranoia that's making the whole situation ten times worse than it has to be. She fucking hates herself sometimes.

"I..." Emily starts. She can tell that this isn't going well.

"You what?" Naomi smiles.

"I wanted to take you somewhere." Emily breathes out and looks at the cars that are passing them by. There's a bench to Naomi's left and she perches on the arm. Pulls out a cigarette and hands it to Emily, she takes it with a slight nod. Emily cups her hands around the cigarette and Naomi leans over and lights it for her without asking, bloody wind, also crosses her mind. She doesn't mind because Emily smells of strawberries. _Strawberries._

_Tongues lightly swirl, tentatively. Strawberries. It's all Naomi tastes and it's driving her insane._

Naomi shakes her head, doesn't want to think about that possibility. It's not possible. It's not. She sparks up her own fag and motions with her head and a wink for Emily to take a seat next to her on the bench, Emily smiles at her and complies. This is better. "So, my day planner, where were you planning on taking me?" She jokes. Thank you again Nicotine.

"Just this little place. Nothing big, just thought I'd be nice." Silence again. Fuck sake why does she have to be so nice? Naomi rolls her eyes and pulls on Emily's hand.

"Come on, then, you cow." She smiles and Emily smiles back. Emily leads the way and it takes a long time to get there by foot. Some sort of forest grove or something. Naomi thinks that her mum would love it, probably stay the night. She's weird like that. "This it, then?" Naomi asks. Emily nods and stands around nervously.

"It's...my favourite place. I come here to think." Naomi can't help but smile. She's nervous and trying to impressive.

"It's lovely."

"Thanks." Emily smiles a cheek to cheek grin.

"So, I don't mean to offend, Ems, dear, but were you just planning on us sitting here and looking out over the lake for the rest of the day because believe me as lovely as that sounds I'm not really that into watching leaves grow on trees." Naomi states, tries to be nice about it.

"Don't be a twat, Naomi." Emily replies and unrolls and blanket from in her bag. "I've got booze and weed. I'm not that boring."

Naomi smiles. Thank you God!

*

"The Ace of Spades! The Ace of spades! THE ACE OF SPADES! DA NA DA NA NA NA!" Cook screams at the top of his lungs, his radio belting out the song. He lives in the college halls, cost him a couple of hundred a week but it was nice enough for anyone that wanted a reasonably respectable home. There was a loud knock on his door and he sighed. They always fucking do this. Geeky goody two shoe pricks that live next door. He switches off the radio and heads for the door. "Yeah, yeah, yeah! I know," He starts opening the door. "Some pricks complained about the noise again. I'll turn it down." It's not the halls inspectors. It's not the geeks from next door. His smile grows. "Katiekins! I knew you'd come back for more! Right, let's get naked, babes!" He opens the door and gestures for Katie to come in.

"I'm not here to fuck you, Twat. I'm not going to do that again. Ever. You're minging." Katie snaps and he laughs.

"Okay, babe, whatever you say. So, what are you here from, then?" He leans on the door frame and crosses his arms. She shifts nervously on the spot and they stand there. Just stand.

"Well?"

"Well, what, babe? I ain't bloody psychic. Can't read your mind." He replies and she mutters twat.

"Are you going to let me in or let me stand out here all fucking night?" She's irritated. Cook thinks she's funny when she gets bitchy, wittier than people give her credit it for but he won't tell her that. Doesn't want the cannon fodder.

"Sure thing, Katiekins. In you come." He bows mocking towards her as her opens the door fully and she rolls her eyes. Twat. He closes it behind her and looks at her arse. Nice. He likes it like that. Shaping and plump, not too much and just enough. He smirks. She's looking around the room and cringes in disgust. There are empty pizza boxes, beer bottles and clothes thrown all over the floor. A single bed cramped up in one corner and a messy duvet sitting on top of it. The windows have duck tape over them where one of them has been smashed, his dresser was being held up on one side by a couple of books, they didn't belong to him. No way. And there was a pot with about forty condoms sitting in, like he even needed them, the two times they'd had sex, and Katie's face cringed at this, he hadn't used one. Good thing she was on the pill. "Welcome to casa dela Cook. Mate yourself at home."

"You call this a home?" She laughs to herself. "More like a stable. Pig on the outside, pig on the inside, I guess."

"Sorry, to burst your bubble, babe, but pigs are someone of the cleanest animals in the world. I'm a man born and bred to fuck and drink." He smirks and she feels like gagging again.

"You make me sick."

"You make me hard."

"Urgh, you cunt!" She throws her hands up in the air in frustration.

"Love you, too, Katiekins, now as much as I'd like to stay here and trade insults with you all night, what the fuck you doing here? Ain't you got a boyfriend to keep you company?" He's grabbed a fag out of his jeans and sparking it up.

"Yeah, I have," She hisses. "Nearly broke up with me, he did, because of you. Dick."

"Well, he didn't, did he? So, I don't see the problem." He replies and lies down on the bed. One hand behind his head and legs crossed.

"You wouldn't." She rolled her eyes.

"So, why are you here again?" She hadn't really explained that. Just sorta kinda had a go at him for having sex with her. Typical birds nowadays.

"I...don't know."

*

"Okay, now you gobble like a turkey," Emily's laughing so hard that her eyes are watering. It's becoming hard for her to breath and she's clutching her sides. The sight of Naomi sitting up on her knees, bobbing her head and flapping her bent arms is enough to make monks laugh. Monks don't laugh. "Right, now take a toke of your spliff and then hold it for ten seconds. Right, now take your shot of vodka and then do a forward roll." Naomi tries her best. She really does. She can't do the roll. It's too much.

"Emily! What the hell is this!?" She scowls and slumps down on the blanket, looking up at Emily and the sky. It's dark now. She knows they should go home. They wont. The blankets too comfy, she's smiling too much and the booze are making her body feel warm. It's nice. Comfy. Cosy.

"You said you wanted to play a game." Emily replies, still laughing.

"Yeah, I did."

"Well, it was fun, wasn't it?"

"For you. I'm the one who had to do all the silly shit. When exactly were you going to do something?" Naomi presses with a smile.

"Erm...never? I just made that game up. Wanted to see how long you'd go for before you finally stopped. I'm sorry." She gives Naomi the puppy dog eyes and Naomi rolls her eyes. She knows she can't be angry at Emily when she's got that face on.

"You'll pay bitch, you'll pay." Naomi promises and Emily feigns fear, placing her hand over her mouth in shock. Her eyes narrow and she stares Naomi out.

"Bring it, Campbell, I'm game." They end up on the floor in a massive tickle fight. They're seventeen but fuck it. It's fun. Naomi's clawing at Emily's side and she's laughing so hard the tears have resurfaced in her eyes.

"Stop! Stop! Naomi! Please!" From anyone listening a couple hundred yards away it would sound like something completely different, but Naomi was smiling down at Emily, she now had her arms pinned above her head.

"Not until you apologise to me and tell me how great I am."

"Never!" Naomi starts the tickling again. She smells Emily's hair on the way down. _Strawberries._

*

"Fair enough, Katiekins, wanna bum around here for a bit? I've got some spliff if you're interested?" he holds out a spliff towards the redhead and she takes it. Doesn't smoke it, just takes it.

"Cheers."

"No problem, babe, so how are you and Danny? No hard feelings on his part, by the way, but if I see him I'll hit his teeth in."

"Like fuck you will, Cook. You're a massive pussy."

"Believe whatever you want, Katiekins." She's sparked up now and her eyes are getting heavy, it's a nice high. They sit in silence for a bit and just pass the joint back and forth between them.

"Why are you friends with that, Lezza, then? Doesn't it drive you mad that she's never going to fuck you?"

"Nah, Naomikins and me are two peas in a pod. We're moody cunts that love ladies, she won't admit it though, but as long as she says she's not gay, she ain't gay." Cook explains and Katie nods.

"Whatever, you say, Cook. Dicks like to rome in the same troops though and you are most definitely a dick."

"Good thing you like them, ain't it, babe?" he winks at her and she gets nervous again. She's on her feet and throwing the spliff into a bin. "You off? Thought we were having a good time?"

"Cook, you could never give me a good time." She hisses.

"Gave you a good time the other night, best you've ever had." He waggles his eyebrows and she gives him the finger.

"I don't know why the girls fawn over you. There are so many better blokes out there." She states and he nods.

"Yeah, like your boyfriend? That's why your here with me instead of with him." He's got here there. She can't deny it. Danny was free this evening and yet here she is. Standing in a room with a guy that makes her physically sick.

"Fuck you!" She hisses and heads for the door. Cook's on his feet and catches up with her; pins her to the door with his hands planted by the side's of her head. "Get off me, you twat!"

"Admit it, Katiekins, you want me as much as you." He whispers in her ear, grinds his cock into her and her eyes close.

"No, I could never..." She starts but can't finished. Her lips find his again. She's missed this. It's so full of want. Fucking lust. He pins her against the door and pulls her top up of her head, her arms circle his neck and she's being lifted up onto his dresser next. He unbuckles his belt and his jeans slip down, he's hiked up her skirt and thrusting into her. Her lips find his and their tongues battling each other. Frantic. This is what they do. Katie and Cook. It's all about the sex when it comes to them. They need it. Want it.

*

"So, Emily, dear..." She starts but doesn't finish. They're sitting shoulder to shoulder now, looking out over the lake and finish the last of the drugs.

"Yes, Naomi, dear."

"What's it like to be gay?" Doesn't know why she asks.

"What's it like to be straight?" Emily replies. Naomi nods her head in respect. Got her there. She can't say 'normal' because she'd offend Emily and she can't define it. She can't expect Emily to do the same. "Have you ever kissed a girl?"

"Have you ever kissed a guy?" Naomi replies hoping that she doesn't have to talk about this.

"Yeah, it's not for me. Too...rough. No spark. Not for me. Have you ever kissed a girl?" Shit. Naomi's eyes fill with panic. She drops the spliff and then hurries to pick it up. "Naomi?"

"Maybe."

"Maybe?" She can hear the confusion in Emily's voice. "What do you mean maybe? You either have or you haven't."

"I don't know." Naomi stutters and looks at the ground.

"How can you not know?" Emily's just as confused as Naomi is inside right now.

"The other night. At the party. I don't think I kissed a guy in the cupboard." Naomi explains and puts her hand on her head. "All I remember is...Strawberries." Her minds hazy. "You smell of strawberries." She doesn't think. It just comes out and Emily's face becomes shocked. Naomi's eyes realise what her mouth has implied. Fuck it. "Did I kiss you?"

**A/N: End of part 1. Part two tomorrow! Hope you liked it! Please review if you have the time because it makes me smile! :D**


	5. Part Two: Friday Night Lights

**Disclaimer: I don't own Skins! I wish I did though! **

**Chapter Five:**

"Did I what?" Emily blinks hard and stares at the peroxide blonde across from her. Naomi's mouth is dry, her head is hurting and her hands are clammy. She doesn't want to know, she has to though. She's not gay. She doesn't want to lead Emily on....that's what she tells herself. If she was alone she'd give herself a reassuring nod and a pat on the back. Certain people would name her a 'freak' for that. They can go fuck themselves. She rocks herself back and forth lightly. Speak. Say what you need to say. Just fucking ask! "Were you the one who kissed me?" She rushes it and looks away from Emily once it's asked. Can't stand to look at her when she hears the answer.

"When?" Emily's confused.

"In the cupboard. At the party. The game." Still can't look Emily directly in the eyes. Needs a fag but they've fucked smoked them all. Damn, you nicotine! You fucking traitor!

"I don't know, Naomi," Naomi glances at Emily. She's in exactly same boat as Naomi, for different reasons. Emily's the sort of person that's too shy to open up, scared by confrontation and hates confusion. Naomi's just asked her to face all the things she hates. Nice one. She needs to know though. "I had to be blindfolded I don't know who I kissed."

"Yeah, but surely when you came back...?" She starts. Desperate for an answer that she doesn't want. She imagines her mum muttering something like 'Typical Naomi, just let things flow, dear.' Oh, what does that cow know? Fuck her.

"No....I don't...you had to sit back down and cover your eyes again. You don't get to see who it was...I'm sorry." Her voice is soft. She's upset her.

"You didn't even look...?" Naomi realises. The question is more at herself. Emily's too nice to look. She followed the rules of the game because she doesn't want to know who she kissed because you're not supposed to. It wouldn't be fair and Emily is very fair. She's very kind. She's not Katie. And just because she's gay doesn't mean she fancies Naomi or every girl she sees. Sort it out, Naomi. "Look, I'm sorry, forget I said anything." She waves her hand in the air and shuffles around, trying not to look at the upset redhead.

She's not crying because Emily won't do that. Not in front of her. She stares at her hand for a while and decides what to do next. She's got vodka and spliff in her system, enough to blame anything on it and enough to get away with it. Confidence? She has plenty right now. Fuck it. "I kissed a girl in the cupboard." It's not a question. She states it and Naomi stiffens suddenly. Emily notices it and tries to take it on the chin. Rejection. Homophobia. It's all happened before. She's used to it.

"Was it me?" Naomi breaths.

"I don't know." Silence again. It's awkward. So very awkward and in her head Naomi imagines clawing out her own eyes.

"Maybe it's better that way....?" She doesn't believe that. She wants to know, but she's trying to make a best of a bad situation.

"Yeah, maybe..." Emily replies. "Maybe, we should head back now?" Naomi isn't surprised when Emily suggests it. She doesn't particularly want to stay now, either. Not when this has happened. She's worried that their friendship might be ruined already, hopes it isn't. They start to pack up and it doesn't take long. Naomi helps Emily roll the blanket back up and they force it back into the bag from where it came. They start to gather up the bottle because Emily says something about not wanting this area to get fences off because of little. Naomi doesn't reply verbally, just nods. They take their time, it takes longer than it should and she doesn't know why. Emily's done her side and Naomi's still doing hers. Emily decides to help and they are nearly finished within minutes. She sees the beer bottle and reaches for it the same time as Emily, hands touch. It's cold and there's a spark. Drugs, flashes in her mind. Emily looks up at her and smiles softly. She smiles back. "There's...." Emily starts. "No, don't worry."

"No, what?" Naomi asks tugging on Emily's arm. The redhead doesn't reply fast. Just stands there for a bit and works up the courage.

"If you want to know if I kissed you...there is a way."

Naomi bites her lip, pushes her hair up over her forehead and breathes. "How?"

"Simple." Emily takes one step forward and stops. Looks like she's thinking about how to do this. Naomi just stands in shock as Emily slowly leans forward, stopping and looking up into Naomi eyes every couple of inches. Her lips stop just before they connect and she feels the breath. That warm breath that you get just before you're kissed. Naomi's eyes are half lidded. Emily's lips brush against hers. The fire inside her starts. Her eyes close all the way when she feels the pressure of Emily's soft lips against her own. She doesn't kiss back, just let's herself be kissed. It's tentative and slow and it's driving her mad. She pushes back, just lightly enough to show some sort of responses. Emily's fingertips are lightly stroking down the side of her left arm. She can't help it. Opens her mouth, let's Emily's tongue inside. It's light and loving. Hands on her hips and she moans slightly into the redhead's mouth. Emily pulls back. "Well?"

"It wasn't you. I...didn't kiss you." Naomi breathes it. Her legs feel weak and she leans on a tree behind her.

"Oh." Is all Emily can say in response. She nods. "Well, sorry for kissing you." Emily's bag is making it's way over had shoulder and Naomi just nods as well and stares at the floor.

"It's...fine," Naomi clears her throat. "I'm not gay, Emily. Don't get any ideas."

"Okay, I won't." Emily nods.

"See you, then."

"Yeah, see you." Shit.

*

When she wakes she groans. She knows the smell; sex. Katie blinks hard; she's lying on something hard. Warm. Cook. Shit. She jolts up a bit and then sits up slowly. Lights shining in through the window in Cook's room, except for one black shadow in the middle of the floor because of the duck tape on the window. Katie spots her bra on the floor and sighs. Shit. She raises her hand to her chin and rests her head on it. Cook turns a little in his sleep and the covers move lower, revealing him in all his glory. Katie's eyes widen and she pulls the covers up over it again. Looks at Cook quick and then lifts the covers up again to look at him again. Nice.

She sighs. Three times they've done this now and she doesn't even know why she came here last night. She should've been at home with Danny, wrapped up with him in front of the TV watching some crappy film. Why this, then? She doesn't want to think about it. Cook in her knickers makes her want to puke. She lightly pushes herself up out of the bed, doesn't cover up, Cook's seen it all anyway so there's no point in hiding it. She doesn't usually make a habit of traipsing around boy's rooms naked after sex but she just can't be fucked this morning. Looks over his stuff. He hasn't got a lot. Opens his cupboard and it shows her a couple of different colour polo shirts, underwear and jeans all piled up, not exactly neatly. Closes it and moves on. Plays with his bottle of aftershave on the side of his dresser. It's not a big name brand one so Katie doesn't notice it. Thinks to herself that it's probably because Cook can't afford a better one and curls her lip at it. She sprays it on her wrist anyway, doesn't smell fantastic, doesn't smell bad; just smells like Cook.

Stereos the next on her hit list. He's got a couple of albums. Motorhead. Kiss. Guns N Roses. This surprises her, Cook is into this shit? Fuck. Wasn't expecting the clubbing sex maniac to be stuck in the past. More fucked up then she original thought. Puts the albums back on top of the stereo and heads over to the cabinet, knowing she'll find booze stashed there. Does. He's got lots as well and most of it isn't cheap stuff, either. At least he's willing to fork out to get a drink worth getting wrecked on and not some of this cheap Tesco's vodka shit. That stuff makes Katie feel sick. She was expecting bottles of that stuff to be lined up in there. The last thing in his room worth looking at is on the dresser. There isn't much on it, a couple of sheets of paper (presumably work from college, if he ever does any, well, not like Katie can say much either. She isn't the brains of the family.) She picks up a picture frame and holds it in her hands. It's a picture of three boys and she knows two of them; Cook and JJ. JJ's a fucking freak boy that goes to their college, but she didn't know that Cook and him were mates. The third boy is tall and has raven black hair; he's standing in the middle of the pair. They're all holding swords and laughing at the camera. She wonders why she hasn't seen Cook with JJ...why does she care? She doesn't. Why is she still fucking here? Doesn't know that either. Doesn't fucking know much when it comes to Cook. Doesn't want to. Cunt.

"Now, that's a sight I like to wake up to in the morning, babes. Turn round will ya?" He's lying with his arms behind his head and looks Katie up and down from behind. Katie rolls her eyes and turns to give him the finger. "Cor, if your sister had your body, with tits like those, she'd be the best lesbian I ever did see." He laughs and Katie glares at him.

"My sister's not gay." She almost fucking hisses it and Cook takes the hint. Bobs his head at her and winks.

"What you still doing here, then? Thought you'd be heading back to the boyfriend by now, Katiekins?" He gets up and pulls his jeans up. No underwear. And moves over to his discarded jacket, pulls out a fag. A morning fag. Hands one to Katie and slaps her on the arse. She jumps and slaps him on the shoulder. "Sorry, babe, too tempting." He sits down in the chair. "So, gonna answer my question? Where are _your _manners now?" He's still smiling. Has been since he woke up. Katie just wants to wipe it right off his face. CUNT.

"Don't know. Just woke up. Don't worry, I'll be heading off soon." Ah, bitchy Katie. How Cook has missed you so.

"Hey, by all means stay as long as you like! I don't usually do morning afters but if I get to watch you walk around here naked then stay. Move in if you like, it'd be so fucking worth it. Fancy another round before you head off to where ever it is you Fitch ladies go on a Saturday morning?" He winks at her and she wants to punch him. Nearly does.

"It was the drugs."

"Drugs and sex go hand in hand. Whatever you wanna say was the reason we had sex is fine by me, and, babe, it was good. I'd go again any day. Let me know when you're ready and I'll come running."

"Fuck you."

"You have."

"Urgh." She grunts.

"Oh, Cook, oh fuck! Yes, Harder. Harder you fucking prick. OH!" he mocks in a girlie voice and Katie starts to turn red. Cook just carries on laughing. Fuck you, cunt. I'll get you, she thinks. She needs to get out of this conversation so tries to steer it away. Searches for her knickers and bra while she does it. Cook watches her as she bends over.

"So, Motorhead? Didn't take you for someone that listened to shit." It's the only thing she can think to talk about.

"That's not shit, babe. That's top notch stuff that is. Legends that band is. Gotta respect music that's got some guitar in it. Club music's fine and fucking dandy when you're high and drunk but when you wanna chill, you need something a bit more....wordy. Lyrical." He nods, finding the word in his vocabulary.

"Screaming is not singing." She replies.

"Whatever you want to believe, babe." He winks. She's getting pissed off with him. He never fucking argues. He never fucking cares. Can't. Freak. Dickhead. Twat! Fuck, she sounds like that fucking JJ kid.

"You used to be friends with JJ." She states and he stiffens.

"I did." He replies with a nod.

"Are you still?" Cook nods. "Why don't I see you with him? And who's this other kid in this picture?" She reaches for the frame on the dresser and Cook's on his feet, grabbing her arm and picking her closes up off the floor. "Hey, get the fuck off me, Cook! Let me fucking go, cunt! Let me go!" His fags still in his mouth.

"Don't be fucking going through my personal belongings, girlie. I let you in and I made you squeal. Now, get to fuck!" He calls and pushes her out of the door. He throws her clothes on the ground in front of her and slams the door in his face.

"You're a cunt, Cook. You're a piece of shit! You'll be alone all your fucking life." She calls as she pushes her clothes back on and fucking marches out of the building. Fucking dickhead. She smiles to herself though, at least she managed to find some way to piss him off. JJ. He wasn't fucking invincible. She doesn't even care, though...

*

College is so awkward. She doesn't ever sit with Emily but the look she sends her are enough for her want to never come to college again. The way Emily smiles like a hurt puppy at her every time they lock eyes, like she doesn't want to think about what happened that night. Naomi should be happy that Emily's trying so hard to forget it because that's what _she _wants, but she can't help but wish they were back there that night. The laughing. Good times. Naomi drags her pen down the margin in her book and makes a massive line down it. No reason. Just bored. Kieran's ranting about something to do with politics, she knows that answers already, though, so it doesn't matter that much. "Naomi, what's the answer then since the rest of the people in this fucking class are incompetent!" He spits sometimes when he speaks and that's the one thing that Naomi doesn't like about him. It makes her do a Katie Fitch face in her head. She nearly laughs out loud at that thought. "Well, I haven't got all fucking day?" He's standing at the board with pen out ready to right.

"I don't know."

"You don't fucking know?" he shakes his head. "Unfuckingbelievable! Useless the bloody lot of you! Guess we'll have to start from the beginning today if none of you have learnt anything. Turn to page twenty-four..." She blocks him out after that. Head on hand; staring out of the window to her left. Her breath clouds the windows and she presses her finger tip into, nothing else and just leaves it there. No reason. Just bored.

_Alright, Naomikins, meet you at lunch. – Cook_. She hasn't seen him all weekend. He's disappeared a lot recently. She doesn't bother asking why because she knows he'll just bite her head off if she does; fair enough because she does the same to him. She'll meet him. Doesn't know if she'll tell him about what happened on Friday night with her and Emily. Probably won't. He'll know, though. Cook always fucking knows.

She's let out of the lessons fifteen minutes later and her feet carry her to the canteen. Cook's sitting on one of the tables, back leaning against the wall and throwing a coin up and down in his hand, he smirks at her as she sits down and she smiles tightly. "Alright, Naomikins, been yonks since I've seen you, babe, how you been?" He leans forward and taps on the table lightly with his coin. He's nervous, he always does this when he's nervous, not that she'd tell him she knows that. Why is he nervous?

"And whose fault is that?" She replies tightly and Cook rolls his eyes.

"Oh, come on, babe, no need to be mad at me. Cookie's got other friends, too, you know? And he's had a very busy weekend!"

"Doing what?" She asks.

"Why do you care?" He's getting irritated. Leans back in his chair and throws the coin on the table in front of him. It bounces and hits some kid in the back of the head on the table across. Cook's eyes bulge and then he's laughing his head off and pounding his hand on the table. "HA! Did you see that, Blondie? That was fucking quality! Top notch funny shit!"

"Yeah, I saw." She nods. She doesn't smile and doesn't laugh. Just stares at him. He stops laughing and just stares at her as well, nearly glares. What's happening to them?

"Oh, what the fuck, man? Why the hell did you throw a penny at me!?" The kid asks standing next to the seated Cook. He doesn't look up at the kid, just keeps starting at Naomi. The kid grabs his shoulder and tugs. "I said, what the fuck man? What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Fuck off, prick." Escapes Cook's lips.

"No. Why you always gotta be a dickhead all the fucking time? Why do you think you can run round here like you own the fucking place? You're just a pathetic little..."

Cook's on his feet, grabs the boy by the scruff of the neck and holds him forehead to forehead. "I said, fuck off, prick. I'm trying to have a fucking conversation with my lady friend here and if you're not gone in the next two seconds I'll make you." He lets go of the boy's shirt, he stumbles back and stares at Cook for a second. Looks back at his mates who are jeering him on with their eyes and then turns back to Cook to stare. Everyone's watching them. The boy's jaw clenches. He retreats and sits back with his mates who make disapproving sounds at them. "Pussy." Cook mutters when he sits back down across from Naomi.

"How was Friday night, then?" He asks pulling out a fag. He knows he can't smoke in here but he'll still do it. "Get your fanny wet, did you?" He smirks at her. Sparks up and just like that they're back to normal and she smiles at him and rolls her eyes. Doesn't know how he does it.

"No, Cook, I didn't. It wasn't a date. I had a good time." It's not a lie. She did have a good time with Emily till they kissed. Doesn't want to think about that though and decided it's best not to tell Cook that, that was a given. "What about you? Did you 'dip your dick' this weekend?" She asks mocking his speech at the same time with a wink.

"Too fucking right, I did, Naomikins! Katie Fitch came round for a round three on Friday night! That girl just can't stay away from me! She loves it!" he's laughing.

"You had sex with her again? Jesus, Cook. Maybe you _like _her_." _She's teasing.

Cook snorts and moves back in his seat and laughs. "The fuck I do, Blondie!"

"Oh, really? I can't remember the last time you had sex with the same girl twice, let alone three times. That's all I'm saying..." She winks at him.

"Nah, Cookie's a many horse, man. Fitch is nice. Nice tits, lush arse and she's okay sometimes, but no one can tame me. I'm untameable. Cookie train is always moving and never stops for long and the girls always get off." He takes a drag.

"Whatever you say, Cook. Guarantee you two have sex again." It's become a little more serious now and Cook's taking a long drag.

"Yeah, well, maybe..." He starts, he spots something in the corner of his eyes and starts to stand up.

"Hey, you! Put that fag out right now, mister!" A voice calls. A teacher is heading his way.

"Cookie's day is never done," He winks at Naomi and she rolls her eyes. "I'll see you tonight, Naomikins." Then he's gone. The teacher hot on his tail.

*

She hears the laugh before she even looks at him and rolls her eyes. "He's fucking disgusting." She mutters to herself. She watches as he sits there, talking to Naomi and laughing his head off.

"Who is?" Emily asks from across her. Her sister. Emily. She's always been there. With her every step of everyday and recently fucking Naomi Campbell trying to be her friend? Fuck that. Emily isn't going to hang around with a fucking lesbian, not a fucking chance. Emily's been down since Saturday. Katie came back to find Emily doing her homework. Emily was just quieter than usual. She means, Katie knows that that Emily's quiet but she's been even more quiet and it's driving Katie fucking insane. She's not even that bothered that Emily's not speaking to her that much she just wishes that Emily would fucking get involved, you know? Fucking drives her up the wall. She shakes her head and looks at her twin. They don't look the same. Emily's got a slimmer face and body, Katie doesn't care, though, because men want something a bit more curvy and when was the last time Emily was with a guy? Exactly. "Cook."

"Yeah, I don't know why Naomi would want to hang out with him." Emily replies.

"Naomi? I do. They're both fucking _losers._ They're perfect for each other. A dyke and a greasy, pikey." When Katie says dyke, Emily looks away. She shakes her head, ignores it. Selective sight, hearing and speaking, that's what Katie has. Ignorant is what Emily would call her. Emily just rolls her eyes and stares over at Naomi. She wishes that Friday night hadn't happened. Fucking drugs make you fucking stupid things, she'll always remember that. Katie's picking at her plate and rambling on about something, so bitchy about it that she's spitting a little on the table and Emily watches it as the droplets start to pile up on the table surface and form into bigger ones. It's not nice. "I mean, I can't fucking believe how many people have had sex with him. He's gross, fucking minging, disgusting. I fucking hate him!"

"Sounds like you like him to me." Emily snaps. That's all she'll say because she knows that she's already said too much. She wants to tell Katie that she has problems of her own, that she's _gay, _she wants to be able to tell her sister about who she likes and why she likes them and how fucked up this whole situation is because she can't. Just can't. Can't make the words leave her mouth and can barely look at her twin nowadays. It's not like looking in a mirror at fucking all. "What?" It's harsh; Katie's voice could kill if she was pissed off enough.

"You just...keep talking about him."

"Yeah, about how much I fucking hate him, Ems. God, you're fucking retarded. Hate isn't love. You fucking _loser._" Nice Katie, real fucking nice. Emily backs down, doesn't even bother trying to argue because you can't win with Katie, never can. Bitch.

*

Party at Kevin's tonight. When Cook tells Naomi that she responses with "You're speaking to me like I know who this person is because...?" and then he proceeds to try and convince her that she's known a guy for Kevin for ages. She hasn't. Shakes her head at him and laughs as he tells her of another time he and Kevin had done something that was "fucking quality" and claims she was there as well. She wasn't. They're about ten minutes away from the infamous Kevin's, beer in his hands and vodka in hers, Cook says it's always polite to bring booze to a party but she stretches to remember the last time she didn't pay for it. He starts the conversation and she has to admit that it throws her off a bit. "I used to be best mates with JJ." She doesn't speak, just nods. "Haven't been for a while now, but sometimes I miss that boy. Good lad, he was." Doesn't say any more. Just passes it off as random conversation later when she asks, she doesn't push, doesn't know if she wants to know because she's used to this Cook and doesn't want a different one. He has his faults but she likes him like this.

*

When they arrive at Kevin's it's packed. Really packed. She struggles to make her way to the booze, needs it right now. Downs a bottle of beer, Cook taught her how. She tries to dance but she's not really in the mood. Then she sees it. The flash of red and then the smell of strawberries as the redheaded twin sweeps past her. Why the hell is she at every party she goes to? Is that a bad thing? Follows Emily. "Hey, Emily." She calls when she reaches the backdoor, Emily's just slipping through it. "Where are you going? The party's in here." It's an outstretched hand. A peace offering. Prays to God that she takes it.

Emily smiles gently at her. "Just getting some air. I'll be back in a bit."

"Mind if I join you?"

"No, that's fine." Emily nods lightly and Naomi smiles back. Steps out into the back garden and just stands there with the redhead.

"Didn't see you today. How was your day?" Naomi's the one to break the ice.

"Not too great. Katie's a bitch."

"Tell me about it. I'll take her out for you if you want? Cook told me I could be a boxer once." She punches Emily lightly on the arm and Emily laughs lightly.

"Tempting."

"Well, the offers there." Naomi drops her hand back down to her side. Her fingertips lightly brush Emily's and she pulls back quick. Hesitates. Fuck it. Takes Emily's hand in hers and intertwines their fingers. Smiles.

*

"Hey, JJ," He's drinking coke is the first thing she notices. This is a party, dick. Can't voice that though because that would wreck it. "How are you?"

He looks startled. Like a deer caught in headlights. "K-katie, hi." He's nervous. Plays with his coke can. Katie really wants to roll her eyes right now but she can't.

"How are you, JJ? Enjoying the party?" She stands next to him, but not too close because she doesn't really like him that much. Freaks her out a little bit. Mong.

"Erm I'm very well thank you very much. My academic levels at moment as at the top of the class and I've been invited to quite a few parties lately, not that I don't usually get invited to parties. I used to go to them all the time with Cook, but that doesn't matter."

"Cook, you two are friends, aren't you? Why don't you still go to parties together?" Ignores the nagging voice in the back of her head that's screaming 'you don't care', wants to find out the answer.

"W-what? Why do you want to know that?"

"Just curious. Saw a picture of you and him with another boy, who was that?" She's pressing now. Saying too much. Acting too nice. It's all so fucking fake.

"Because...because...of. No, can't think about that. Not allowed. Too bad. Too painful. Stupid fucking mong keep your mouth shut, don't say a fucking word. Stupid idiot, shut up don't think about it!" He's just talking to himself. Katie feels the need to take a step back but doesn't. She moves forward.

"Are you okay?" She moves to place her hand on his shoulder but he flinches away from her, recoils and Katie rolls her eyes. "Alright, that's enough, JJ. Just fucking tell me already."

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Cook moves over and puts his arm around JJ's shoulder and looks down at him. "You alright, JJ, mate? What's up?" He's seen this hundreds of times before. "It's alright, JJ, mate," Kisses JJ on the head. "Calm fucking down." Says it softly. JJ stops all of a sudden and steps back from Cook. Katie thinks that he doesn't like physical touch."What the fuck did you say to him?" He glares at Katie.

"She asked about F-Freddie." JJ replied, calm now.

"That's his name?" Katie asks. There is something here. She needs to know it now. She needs to know the answer that's why she's been hanging around with Cook. That's the reason she gives herself that makes her have a reason for it. Needs a reason for it.

"Back off." Cook almost fucking growls it. "Don't fucking play with fire. Stay the fuck away from JJ. Come on, mate, let's get you a drink."

"I-I've got one, thanks. A-and I'd prefer it if you did not come near me again Cook, thank you." He walks away, shaking again a little bit. Katie rolls her eyes. Freak.

"Well, fuck you then, JJ, you tit! Don't need you! Tosser!" Cook turns and looks at Katie. She doesn't care what he thinks. He gives her the finger. She slaps him. His eyes look like they're watering, that's what it looks like to Katie. She can't have slapped him that hard. He looks up at the ceiling and then back at her. Pulls his lips tight and then waggles his tongue at her with a wink. Yeah, that's what she thought. Dick.

"Who's Freddie?"

"Fuck you, Katie." Doesn't call her a pet name. Just walks off.

*

Cook finds her later, sitting with a fag in her mouth and Emily laying on her shoulder; looking out over the garden. "Come on, Naomikins, let's blow this fucking joint! Plenty more parties to be had, Blondie! Bring, Em, if you want. I'll leave you two lovebirds to it when we get there."

She scowls at him. "What's stuck up your arse, Cook? Finally realised your gay and that all your poon over the years has come to nothing? Come on, admit it, it's why you're so fascinated with me being gay, want it yourself, don't you?" She smirks at him.

"Hey, the Cookie only likes the pussy. Sorry to disappoint all the lads out there but the Cookie will only pound the pussy, not the arse. Well, I wouldn't say no to sticking it up the cracker! Especially your sister's. Cor, if only." He's got a dreamy look on his face and Emily scrunches her face up.

"You're disgusting. That's horrid. That's my sister! Urgh!" Emily pushes up off Naomi and pushes past Cook.

"You not coming, then?" He looks back at Naomi who's glaring at him.

"What? What'd I fucking do?" Cook asks throwing his arm out in confusion. Naomi just rolls her eyes and tugs him away by his collar.

"That's it, good dog." She teases and he pulls himself away.

"Come on, Naomikins, let's go fucking mental!" he cries putting his arm around her shoulder. She smiles and rolls her eyes. She fucking loves him sometimes. Can't explain it. "Let's go catch up with your girlfriend, shall we?" She nods. Doesn't deny it. She can't be bothered to argue anymore.

**A/N: So, that's it. Chapter 5! Hope you enjoyed it :D More on the way tomorrow hopefully, but now I'm back at college maybe the next day would be more realistic. What you think? Review please :D hope you liked it. **


	6. Primark and Saturday Afternoons

**Disclaimer: I don't own Skins! I wish I did though!**

**Chapter Six:**

It starts a week after that. Cook stops coming round, at all. She hasn't seen him any day for the past week, not just seen, hasn't heard from him either. No one's seen him. She's asked around, called a few people, called _Kevin _who it turns out she has met before lots of times. Fucking Cook always being bloody right. She hates him so fucking much sometimes. Sitting on the end of her bed, pressing her phone to her chin she sighs and looks in the mirror. Hairs a mess and bags under her eyes. She's bored out of her fucking skull, needs Cook to function. Doesn't have any other friends. Except Emily.

Hands dial the number for her, presses the metal of the phone hard against the side of her head as the ringing vibrates into her ear. Bites her lip a little, chews it. "Hello?" A mumbled voice asks from the other side of the phone. She doesn't say anything, keeps biting her lip. "Hello?"

"Hey, Em," Tries to sound cheerful, just sounds creepy. "How are you?"

"Tired, sleepy cause someone woke me up." Doesn't sound upset, just sounds playful. "What about you?"

"I'm fine." Fuck sake.

"You're fine?" Emily asks sceptically. No one is ever fine when they fucking say that. Stupid.

"Yeah, fine," Stop fucking saying it. "What are you doing today?"

"Sleeping," Naomi rolls her eyes and flops down on the bed behind her. "And when I do eventually stop doing that I'll be doing not a lot because it's pissing it down with rain."

"Come round?" Naomi doesn't mean to sound as hopeful as she does when she asks, can't help it. _Needs _to see her.

"Okay." Emily replies.

"When?"

"When I'm done sleeping." Naomi rolls her eyes.

"You're awake. Get over here now." She almost grunts down the phone to the redhead.

"No, I'm not. I'm still sleeping Naomi. Listen," Emily starts to lightly snore down the phone and Naomi rolls her eyes with a light laugh "See, I can't possibly come over yet. Impossible."

"Emily." Says it in a tone that is typical grumpy Naomi. "Now."

"No." She's teases her. Hates it. Secretly loves it.

"I swear to God, Em, if you're not round here in the next twenty minutes I'm coming to your house to get you! I'll brave high water and Katie Fitch." She's smiling now. Fucking Emily always making her bloody smile. She's a miserable bitch most of the time. Fucking redhead.

A fake gasp is her response from the other side of the phone. "You'd do all that just for little ol' me?" Emily teases. "Well, okay, then." Naomi smiles down the phone, goofiest thing ever.

"So, you coming now, then?"

"No, still sleeping!"

"Emily, urgh!" Naomi moans. Emily laughs.

"I'll be there in twenty."

"Make it fifteen, bitch." Naomi replies.

"Yes, ma'am." When she hands up Naomi rolls her eyes for the last time that morning and throws her phone down on the bed. Fucking tease. Forces herself up off the bed and heads over to her dresser, looks at herself and sighs. Twenty minutes before Emily gets here. Off the phone to her for two minutes and she's already bored out of her mind. Urgh, what's happening to her? What's Emily Fitch doing to her? Making her give a fuck. Hates herself because of it. Starts to make herself look a bit better because she looks like shit right now. Takes her five minutes, she's not very girlie, doesn't care that much what she looks like. In Katie Fitches words her style just 'screams dyke', fucking bitch? What does she know? She's the one that wears leopard skin every day of the week, when exactly did that become fashionable again? Just looks skanky. Slut. God, she hates that girl. Naomi makes her way downstairs, finds her mum in the kitchen reading the paper again. "Friend's coming round." Doesn't ask, tells her. Sometimes she feels like she's the parent in this 'relationship', doesn't have a problem with that either.

"James?" Is her mum's reply.

"No."

Gina puts down the paper and turns to look at her daughter. "Another friend?" Naomi's half way through making herself a cup of tea, kettles boiling.

"Yes."

"What's their name?" She would be interested now.

"Emily."

"Lovely name, does she go to your college?" What is this? Twenty questions?

"Yes."

"That's nice, dear. Nice to see you're making new friends. Don't want to be alone all your life." Gina goes back to her paper.

"Fuck sake, I'm not a social outcast, _mother. _I chose not to have friends, there is a difference." Gina looks up at her daughter and smiles sadly. Naomi rolls her eyes, tightens her jaw in frustration and turns to poor herself her tea. "Just...just don't freak her out, okay?" Gina nods and goes back to her paper. Naomi doesn't feel bad. She doesn't.

*

"Urgh." He groans. Fucking head. Too much last night. Pushes himself up off his bed and rubs his eyes. Doesn't remember much, doesn't need to; if you can't remember it then it was a good time. That's always been his motto. He gets up off his bed, pulls some jeans on, rolls a spliff and sparks it up, best ever hangover cure. Drinking works as well, but he's still got the burning sensation left in his throat from it last night and the spliff is easier, helps you relax. Puffs out some rings and heads for the dresser, looks at the picture from the corner of his eye while throwing his jacket on and zipping it up. Shakes his head and opens the door.

Saturday mornings he always does the same thing. It's a routine. Makes his way down to the local cafe, Passion is what it's called, or some shit like that. Nice big fry up to start the day, lots of ketchup otherwise what's the fucking point? "Alright, Susie, babe? Good time last night?" he winks at her. Fucked her last night at a party. She's a waitress here, if he'd remembered he probably wouldn't have come. She rolls her eyes at him and pours his drink for him. Bitch. He gave her a good time, enough said. He eats his fry up, fucking quality, it is. Leaves the cafe and heads down to the florist and gets his usual. Takes him another twenty minutes to get there. The flowers go to where they are supposed to go, stays for a bit, smokes because that's all he can do. It's awkward, always is. Leaves and heads back into town and goes to the snooker club. Craig's there and they have a bit of chat, catch up and then play some pool. Cook wins, he always wins. He is the Cookie monster after all. Gets his fiver off Craig and heads up to town. Picks up a payphone and sticks in thirty pence. Rings four times before a voice answers on the other end. "Hello, James." The voice sounds bored.

"Alright, Mrs Jones, JJ in?" Doesn't know why he keeps trying. JJ doesn't want to talk to him. Fucking dickhead.

"Yeah, but you call at the same time every week and every time he doesn't want to speak to you. Why do you keep calling?" Mrs Jones never liked him. Thought he was a bad influence. Fucking bitch as well. What the fuck does she know? Nothing.

"Dunno." Is his reply.

"Well, nice talking to you, James." She hangs up. He slams the phone back down and kicks the wall of the phone box. He needs booze, needs to get smashed off his face, and needs to get some as well. Heads into town towards the off-licence to get what he wants. Paulie will serve him in there, always has. He comes out of the off-licence carrying a bag full of booze.

"Danny I wanna go to Primark!" He watches as the redhead pulls on her boyfriend Danny's arm.

"Babe, we went there yesterday. Let's go to the pub, I'll get a few in and then later you can pay me back. If you know what I mean." He's doing that stupid fucking laugh and looking her up and down. Cook just rolls his eyes, not got a fucking clue what to say or do. Cook may like to fuck anything to walk but at least he knows how to talk to a girl. Twat. Smirks and laughs when Katie throws a hissing fit. Crosses her arms over her chest and scowls at him. A lady who knows how to get what she wants, Cook admires that. Reminds him of himself, well, after all he did fuck Katie. Fuck it. Cook makes his way over and wraps his arm over Katie's shoulder. "Alright, Katiekins," Turns to Danny and nods his head. "Danno, how are you, mate? I couldn't help but notice that--"

"I know _you _couldn't." Katie comments and pushes him away from her.

"I couldn't help but notice that you didn't want to take Katie to Primark? Need someone else to come with ya, babe?" She rolls her eyes. "Come on! The Cookie will keep you company. He has in the past." Danny's jaw is clenching.

"I told you to stay away from my bird, _mate." _Shoves Cook.

"She's the one who keep coming back to me, mate," winks at him and waggles his tongue. "Cor, does she squeal!" Cook gets punched again. Goes down. Danny stops off, tells Katie to fuck off and drives off in his car. Cook's laughing on the ground, wipes the blood from under his nose and laughs harder. Lays his head down and looks up at the sky. So fucking worth it. Closes his eyes and smiles. Couple of minutes he lays there.

"Are you going to lay in the road all fucking day or are you coming with me?" Cook's eyes open again and he sees Katie Fitch standing above him. She looks pissed. He likes her when she's mad. Feisty. Smirks up at her.

"They always come back to the Cookie Monster."

"Urgh!" Throws her hands up and walks off in the direction of the town. Cook laughs, pushes himself up off the ground and follows her.

*

Emily arrives fifteen minutes later then she said she would. Naomi bites her lip the entire time, feels numb from all the chewing. Emily's drenched by the rain. Makes Naomi feel bad for making her come here. Walks Emily up the stairs and past her mum as quick as possible. Gina doesn't ask any questions. Once they get into her room she closes the door, sighs and leans against it. "You okay?" Emily asks, standing awkwardly.

"Yeah, just tired is all." Naomi replies and Emily nods. Awkward. "So, what happened to twenty minutes?" She sits on the end of the bed and plays with her hands. Doesn't know how to act around Emily sometimes, just has to be around her.

"Sorry, my mum was being a pain and wanted me to stay in because of the weather," looks at herself and laughs. "Should have listened to her really."

"Ever heard of an invention called an umbrella? Sounds crazy, but these little pieces of metal are clipped onto a waterproof fabric and then we you open it you're covered from the rain. Technology has come a long way." Naomi's teasing, trying her best not to laugh and keep a straight face. Emily glares at her. Naomi breaks under Emily's stare and bursts into laughter. Emily's rolls her eyes and then joins her.

Emily looks around Naomi's room. "What do you want to do, then?"

Naomi hadn't really thought about that. She'd got Emily up out of bed and over here to do....nothing. Her brow creases as she thinks. "Watch a film or something?"

"Okay," Emily smiles, getting up off the bed and heads towards Naomi's shelves. She reaches the DVD's and runs her finger across them slowly. "Let me see..." Deep thought on her face. Naomi's standing next to her and smiles at how much thought Emily's putting into picking a film. Most of these Cook gave her. She doesn't want to know where he got them from because she's worried about the answer.

"What about that? Lots of action sequence, hot chicks and guns." Naomi points to a DVD and Emily rolls your eyes.

"Just because I'm gay doesn't mean I have to be a 'lad'. I'm very girlie, I'll have you know." Naomi holds her hands up in defence and Emily just laughs.

"Wasn't saying that at all. Just thought that was a good film." Naomi lies through her teeth. Stop stereotyping her. Scans her eyes over the DVD collection. "What about that one? Some serious lesbian undertones there; drive you crazy that would." Naomi's teasing her now and Emily playful scowls in return.

"Fine! You want dyke! You got dyke!" Emily tackles Naomi onto the bed and pins her down. Scowls at Naomi from above her.

"Ever thought about rugby? Got tackling skills." She winks and Emily scowls harder. Emily tickles her and Naomi's eyes widen. "NO!" She screams out as Emily's fingers claw at her sides. "Stop!" Emily does. Looks down at Naomi smiling and she receives a smile in return. They stay there like that just for a bit. A slamming door from downstairs breaks the moment and Emily jumps up and heads back over to the DVDS. Two minutes later she's waving a DVD in front of Naomi's face and Naomi's rolling her eyes. "Fine, but if you get scared you're not cuddling up to me." She's lying.

Emily's head is buried in her neck a couple of the minutes into the film. The curtains are drawn, the rain's patting against the windows, the lights are off and the two are sitting against the headboard of Naomi's bed. Naomi hesitates, thinks about it before she wraps her arm around Emily and pulls her closer to her. So close. Strawberries. Naomi's so tempted to breathe it in, just press her nose against Emily's head and drown in it. Doesn't. She doesn't watch the film. She can't focus. Not with Emily so close to her and clinging to her every couple of seconds. It's enough to make her want to be sick. Not because Emily's clinging to her. Because she can't fucking stand being so close to her, but not close enough.

*

"You going to say anything or stare at my arse all day?" Katie grumbles as her hands rush through the clothes on the hangers. Not really looking at them. Cook doesn't reply. "That was a hint that you should fucking talk!" She snaps and Cook shakes his head and looks at her.

"Sorry, babe, what were you saying?"

"Urgh, why did I even bring you?" She's asking herself. Not him, but of course he has to answer.

"Babes, you wanted the Cookie Monster here!" he replies simply and holds out some clothes to Katie.

"What are these?" Dodges the statement that Cook just made. She does _not _want him here.

"Clothes. You'll look good in them, Katiekins. Fuckable" Winks at her and she nearly cringes. Disgusting. Leans against the wall as Katie looks over them and then nods in approval. "What did Cookie tell you?" Winks at her.

Rolls her eyes and puts them in the bag. "Where's the dyke today, then?"

"Your sister? Fuck if I know, babe!" He smirks and Katie glares at him, deadly.

"My sister isn't gay." Says it slowly so he'll remember it. Fucking dickhead. What does he know?

"Whatever you say, babe, just remember Cookie is all knowing!"

If she rolls her eyes anymore around him they might fall out of her head. Picks up some more clothes and throws them in the back. She'll look fit in them and she knows it. Smiles. She's fit. Cook's wandered off now. Alone finally. She invited him along though so she did this to herself. Doesn't know why she's punishing herself. Laughs at that. Wonders if she should call Danny? No, let him stew. He's been a cunt to her lately, fucking focused on his mates all the time. Prick. She's always had a boyfriend even if they she didn't like them that one. She needs to be loved. She deserved to be loved. She's Katie fucking Fitch after all. Heads toward the changing room, opens the door and steps inside. Starts hanging up clothes. Pulls off her top and throws it to the ground. Her skirt is next, slipping it down over her hips and letting it pool on the floor. Looks at herself in the mirror. Looks at her legs. See's flashes of Cook's hands running down them. Shakes her head. Can't thing about that. _Won't._ Bites her lips as she thinks about Cook's tongue inside her, pleasing her, making her 'squeal'. She feels dirty. So dirty. She's showed but she can't get it off. Won't ever go. Cook. Cook. Cook. Cook. Cook. Cook. Cook. Cook. Cook. Chews her lip. Fuck sake. A knock on the door breaks her away from her thought. "What?" She snaps.

"A behind door number 2, Katie Fitch. And what has Katie Fitch won? Some more clothes," She doesn't move. "Open the door, babes, I ain't got all day!" Moves over and opens the changing room door for him. "Take this. You should wear some of this for me sometime. Blow my mind you would, babe. Drive me wild, it would." Smirks and winks at her. She wants to kiss him. The urge just hits her so bad. Fights it. Doesn't say thank you, doesn't nod, just closes the door on him and sits on the stool in the changing room. Clothes balled up in her hand. Dickhead. She fucking hates him. She does. "You alright in there, Katiekins? Don't go dying on me now. Who am I gonna fuck if you do that?" she laughs meekly.

Cook stands there. She's been in there for nearly half an hour now. Cook's a patient guy; especially when it comes to getting what he wants but Katie's been in there for a bit longer than any willing bloke would be prepared to stand for a girl and Cook's never been about giving, he's all about the taking. He knocks on the door. "Tick tock, babe, the Cookie Monster's getting impatient. Nearly time for Cookie to get his fuck on." The door unlocks, she doesn't come out though. Cook pushes it open with one finger. "Fuck me." He breathes. Steps inside.

"Daddy, what's that?" A boy asks pointing towards a changing room door. Moans and groans can be heard from the other side.

The man's eyes widen and he covers his son's ears. "Erm miss!" He motions to the Primark worker to check the changing room. She goes over and taps on the door. "Come on, Timmy, let's go over here." The man leads his son away.

"Please open this door." The worker asks. A loud groan, man's voice is her reply. She looks taken back and then knocks again louder. "Stop it at once! Open this door! This is a shop for Christ sake!"

"Grab my balls! Grab my balls! Grab my balls! Oh, yes, babe!" is hollered. She knocks again louder. Demands them to stop. They don't.

*

"So.....what's your favourite film?" Emily's laying on one side of the bed and Naomi's laying on the other. They're facing each other. Naomi's breathing is fast, she can feel Emily's on her face as well if Emily breathes hard enough.

"Don't really have one, you?" Naomi replies.

"Loads, can't pick one."

"It's a hard question." Naomi replies. This is nice. The film had ended half an hour ago and now they were just sitting around, talking. Naomi didn't usually like to talk. She did now. "When did you figure it out?"

"Figure what out?"

"That you were gay?"

"Oh." She can't read Emily's face, it's neutral. Thinks that maybe she shouldn't have asked, that Emily doesn't want to talk about it. "Well, I looked at a guy and then looked at a girl and the girl made my vagina tingle." Emily's face breaks out into a smile and she starts laughing.

Naomi slaps her shoulder. "I thought you were serious there for a second! You sounded like Cook."

"Cook's got nothing on me." She winks and it's so like Cook that Naomi raises an eyebrow. Emily was such a boy sometimes. "So, how?"

"Don't know really. Just, boys never really interested me and girls did. In our room Katie and I have posters and on one side there's David Beckham, male models and bulging packages and on the other side there's Victoria Beckham, female models and vaginas. Wanna take a guess which side is which?"

"So, you're clearly the male side, right?" Naomi teases and it's Emily's turn to slap her shoulder. "Knew you were a closet straight all along."

"Fuck you, Campbell! I'm as gay as they come!" Emily declares.

"Oh, really? Well, I see no proof of this. In fact I swear that I saw you checking out Cook the other night, admit it!"

"Never!" They're laughing again. Laying on each other while they laugh and push each other around playfully. They back up, noses bumping, eyes locking. Naomi inches forward, pushed by something in the back of her mind. Misses the strawberries. Emily moves as well, inches closer and closer until her phone rings out loud, breaking the spell and sending them both to opposite sides of the bed. Emily's fishing into her pocket and pulls out her mobile. "Hey, mum, you need me now? Why? Can't James help you? But I'm out with a friend. Yeah, I know it was Katie's turn to go out this weekend and for me to help....yeah, but I don't go out and she goes out all the time. But....fine I'll be home in about twenty minutes," hangs up. "Bitch."

"You have to go?" Comes out sadder than Naomi would have liked but she'll deal with it. Emily nods and Naomi nods back sadly.

"I had a good time, though. Definitely should do it again." Emily smiles.

"Yeah, when?" Doesn't think when she asks.

"I'm going to this club on Monday, Katie doesn't know about it...she wouldn't like it. It's not really your sort of thing, but you can come if you like." Emily offers.

Naomi takes it. "Yes."

"Okay." Emily smiles. "See you."

"Bye." Naomi misses her already. Fuck sake.

*

They go back to his. Fuck again. She lays her head on his chest. He's already asleep and she's nearly there herself. Wraps her arm around him and curls into him. This one time she's not going to think about it. She's just gonna fucking sleep. Just for a little bit. It'll all be fine in the morning. She'll leave again and she can forget this ever happened. For the fifth time. Curses herself. He's snoring now. She doesn't mind. Emily snore and louder than him, she's used to it. Cook's phone vibrates on the dresser, she turns to it and picks it up without thinking. Doesn't wake him up. Just reads the text. _Emily's just been round. Need to talk to you about some stuff. Where the fuck are you? Stop being a dick. – Naomi. _Her sister? Naomi? What the fuck?

*

She gets herself off that night. Hands in her knickers, cheeks flushed, arse pushing up off the mattress when she comes. Tries not to think about Emily. Does. She tries not to think too much into it. Puts it down to all the pent up sexual energy that she's had recently. She texts Cook because she needs someone to talk to. Doesn't want to. Has too. Fuck it. She'll go round to his in the morning if he's going to be a cunt. Texts Emily good night. Emily texts back a happy face and a kiss. Naomi bites her lip. Fuck.

**A/N: Chapter six. This one was mainly a filler chapter :/ Hope it was okay. Tell me what you think? Review? Hope you enjoyed it :D You guys are the best.**


	7. Gay Clubs and Prison Cells

**Disclaimer: I don't own Skins! I wish I did though!**

**A/N: This story was written for my friend Skye (tommykayketchup or Skuzzeh on LJ) for a birthday present so please all say happy birthday to Skye on the 23****rd**** because she is lovely! :D **

**Chapter 7:**

She knocks on the door in front of her. The halls stink of piss. Doesn't know how Cook can live here, but then again Cook will live about anywhere. Sighs heavily doesn't answer. Where the fuck is he? Closes her eyes and presses her hand against her forehead, rubbing it. Think like Cook. Opens her eyes briefly and glances down. Smooth Cook. Reaches for the plant pot placed outside his door. Nearly rolls her eyes because seeing a plant pot placed outside a room in the halls is basically screaming 'Rob me!' and then giving the person your key. Picks the key up from underneath it and puts it back down, unlocks the door and steps inside. Cook's there alright. Naomi rolls her eyes this time and crosses her arms, staring squarely. "Don't you know it's rude to not answer you door?" She asks, makes her way over to the only chair in the room. Chooses to ignore Katie who's eyes are suddenly very wide. Katie shifts away from Cook in the bed and Cook smirks at Naomi. "And really? Under a plant pot?" Holds the key up to him.

Cook laughs. "Best place to put it if I'm drunk, if you ask me. I come back here and have to think about where I put it? Nah, I'll stumble about a bit and then knock over the plant pot. Do it all the times, Naomikins, it's a life saver. And I was hoping you'd piss off because I had company, thought you were a halls rep or something. That twat's always trying to get me into trouble," He points to his jacket and clicks his fingers. Naomi scowls at him. He groans gets up completely naked and grabs his jacket, fishing into the pocket for fags and then heads back to the bed. Naomi cringes. "So, what do ya want?"

"Where the fuck have you been? Too busy shagging all week to even text me? Thanks. Thought we were mates?" Comes out a lot nastier than Naomi intended but she's angry. He deserves it too. When the fuck did _Katie Fitch _become her replacement? Feels like a slap in the face. Scowls at him again.

"This isn't what it looks like, we weren't...."

"Save it, _Fitch. _I'm not going to tell anyone so don't fucking worry." Doesn't even look at her when she says it. Too pissed off. Katie backs down, doesn't want to get involved. She's not scared of Naomi. Katie almost laughs at the thought of that. That skinny blonde? Katie would kick her teeth, just doesn't want to get in between these too. Doesn't want to get involved, doesn't want to leave.

Naomi scowls at Cook again whose looking at her deadly serious, toking on a fag and nodding his head slightly. "What can I say? Cookie's a busy man. Places to go and people to see. Gonna have to learn to share me, Naomikins, everyone wants a piece of the Cookie Monster." Winks at her. Katie notices that Naomi looks about ready to explode.

"Fuck off, _James, _just fuck right off, okay? You are being a dick. So," Naomi stands up. "Whenever you want to fucking talk about what's stuck up your pathetic little arse, come and find me, okay?" Heads back out of the door and stops. Takes a breath. Brings her foot down on his plant pot and then storms off out of the halls. Fucking cunt. He's such a fucking dick. God! She fucking hates him so much. Chews her lip.

"Oi, what the hell?" He calls after her standing over the pile of dirt and broken leaves. "Fuck you, then, bitch!" He calls after when she doesn't stop. What the hell's up with her anyway? He's just been busy is all. He's lying. Won't admit it, though. He's been avoiding her. Getting too close. Cookie does friendly, not _close. _She'll get over it and come around, she always does. He'll text her Monday and everything will be fine. Nods and turns to head back in. Katie brushes past him, he catches her arm. "Where you going, Katiekins? Plenty more time that can be spent here." Smirks.

"Urgh, get off me!" Pulls her arm away from him. Pauses for a second and then glares at him. "I swear if your fucking dyke of a friend says anything to anyone about any of this I'll fucking castrate you Cook! Fucking dick!" Storms off. Cook rolls his eyes.

"See you next week, babe, had a good time!" He calls, laughing at his own joke. Katie just sends him the finger and leaves as well. Cook stands there for a minute. Sighs and walks back inside, closes the door and slumps back down on the bed. Alone. Again. He's always fucking alone lately. Ever since....no. Shakes his head. Naomi and Katie? Fucking bitches both of them. Stubborn, bitchy and horrible. Cunts the both of them. He doesn't need them. Cookie doesn't need anyone. Never has and never will. Fuck the both of them if they want to be boring cunts. Doesn't need anyone to have a party of his own. Pushes himself up off his bed and heads over to his dresser, opens the bottom draw and pulls out a spliff, sparks it up, doesn't give a fuck if it's the morning, Cookie parties anytime of day! Grabs a bottle of vodka. Russian, the good stuff, not Tesco's shitty quality cheap shit. Fuck that. Downs a quarter and smiles. The burn. It's home and he fucking loves it.

*

Naomi's phone vibrates on her desk about nine in the evening. Picks it up off the desk, brow crinkles when she doesn't recognise the number. Hesitates before answering. "Hello?" She's curious.

"Alright, Naomikins?"

"You've got some fucking nerve, James." He's a brave one. She'll give him that. Sighs down the phone before speaking. "What do you want?"

"I need you to do me a favour." He's lucky she hasn't hung up already. Twat. Can't believe the nerve of him sometimes. Why the hell should she do anything for him if he doesn't even fucking care about her at the moment?

"You're fucking joking, right?" She spits it. So much venom on it that she can imagine Cook recoiling on the other side of the phone. He doesn't though. Doesn't do anything just stand there in silence for a minute. It's tense.

"The Cookie never jokes in serious times, babe. Look, I'm sorry, okay? I was a cunt. Get over it." Rolls her eyes and lets out an exasperated breath. "It's important."

"Fine, what do you need?"

"Can you come get me?"

"For what?"

"To bail me out." She sighs.

*

Of course she goes to pick him up. Arrives at the police station about half an hour after he calls. Walks in and is stopped by a woman behind a counter. "Can I help you, Miss?" Yes.

"I'm here to bail out my boyfriend."

"Okay and what's their name?" She's typing away on her computer now.

"James Cook."

"Okay, fill out this form and then hand it over there." Naomi nods her thanks and takes the blue form that is pushed towards her. Takes the pen that is laying next to it and heads over to some chairs. Fills it out. Doesn't take long. Makes her way over to another woman behind a separate counter. Hands it over and waits. She looks over it all and then nods her head. "Okay, James Cook. Arrested on the suspicion of theft, one bus seat. Naomi Campbell is bailing Jame Cook out." She nods politely. She has to wait again after that. Takes another hour for him to be realised to her and then she drags him outside.

"What the hell!?"

Cook covers his left ear and backs away. "Jesus Christ, Naomikins, keep it down or you might wake the bloody neighbours! I think I've gone deaf in my left ear!" He's patting his ear with his hand.

"What the fuck do you think you were doing? A bus seat? Why the hell did you still a fucking bus seat!?"

"Alright, mum, calm the fuck down, yeah? Seemed like a good idea at the time, alright? Chill out, babe, you'll burst a vessel or something." She grabs him by his ear and twists it. He cries out and pushing her away. "Oi, get the fuck off me!"

She lets him go and sags against the wall. Can't be doing with any of this at the moment. Has too much on her mind already, Emily's floating around in there all the time. Making her think things she shouldn't. Making her want things she doesn't want. She's not gay. She's not, but Emily's there just all the time and it's just like....urgh. Now Cook's fucking off all the time and avoiding her. They don't talk, they don't let things get to them and they don't miss each other. That's how it used to be, now everything's changing. She doesn't like change. Hates it. She looks at him, watches as he rubs his ear and groans, mutters fuck under his breath and glares at her. When did she become the mum and he become the child? When did they start to need each other? She can't remember. Doesn't like it. Doesn't want to need him as a friend. He's a cunt. He looks at state. Stinks of booze and drugs. His collars all messed up, pointing up and down and one bits tucked in. She rolls her eyes and moves over, pulling it out and straightening it. He stands there and lets her do it. "You stink of booze, you know that, right?"

"Nah, babe, I stink of sex. Booze's is what leads to sex." He winks at her. She's caving. Forgiving him already. Cunt.

"If someone wants to have sex in a brewery, sure." He laughs and nods at her. Gives her the point this time. It's like an olive branch that they both want to take, but both are too stubborn to. "They got any proof?" She's talking about the crime of course.

"Nah, babe, they ain't got shit. That's why they let me go so quick. I'll be back here soon enough when they call me, but they've not got me yet. Cookie is above the law. They can't touch this." Motions to himself and Naomi rolls her eyes.

"You're a dick, you know that, right?" She asks. He nods.

"And you're a lezza," Wraps his arm around her shoulder and hugs her slightly. He won't say thanks, this is as close as it gets with him. "Make quite the pair, don't we? Well, they do say opposite's attract." Winks at her and she shoves him lightly. "So, Naomikins, you made a point this morning, I ain't seen you in fucking yonks! So, what's happening with you at the moment? Finally killed that hippy mother of yours and taken over the world?"

"No, that's still in the planning stages," They're walking now. Naomi hands him a fag and he takes it. They smoke. "But I promise you, James, one day you'll bow down before me.

"Naomikins, I'll always get down on my knees for ya." She saw it coming even before he's said it. He's getting predictable now. Thinks about telling him that he needs to spice it up. She doesn't. She's scared of him changing.

"Emily's been round."

"Oh, really? You two are getting along, then? That's good." He means something entirely different there. She doesn't call him on it though. Doesn't want to argue.

"It is. I'm seeing her on Monday. Should be fun." He nods. They have an unspoken agreement about Emily. They both know what it really means and both have chosen to ignore it. For the sake of each other. "What about, then? What you been so busy with this week then?"

"Oh, this and that. Some stuff that you'd frown upon, Naomikins, and some stuff that you wouldn't give a fuck about."

"Shagging Katie Fitch by any chance?"

"What can I say? The woman know what she likes and she likes it hard and rough from the Cookie Monster. They always come back to me." Cook smirks.

"There is a difference between drunk and sober, James. Remember this." She's playing now, trying to get a rise out of him. Doesn't.

"Speaking of drink, interested?"

"Think you've had enough for one day." Naomi's become the mum again. Cook nods his head.

"Fair enough. Cheers, Naomikins." Friends again. Smiles at her and walks off towards the halls. She doesn't follow him. Cheers? He's changing and she really doesn't like it. Bows her head and heads back home. Crawls into bed and waits for Monday to come. For Emily to come.

*

When Katie gets back she's in the shower straight away. Scrubs herself dry. Hard as she can because she can't think about it. Doesn't want to think about last night. It's like self harm, sleeping with Cook, makes you think about what she's let herself become. Wants to be sick. Is. Hangs over the toilet and sighs, rests her head against. Danny's hanging in the balance and she's going to throw it all away because she can't say no to some greasy, sexist bastard? Fuck sake. Sort it out Katie. Brushes her teeth. Twice. Feels sick again. Fights it off and cleans herself up. Makes herself look like Katie Fitch. Doesn't feel it but at least she can look normal. Moves her fringe to the side and smiles, well, if you can call it a smile. Heads back into her room and lays on the bed. Calls Danny. Has him come round. They have sex. It's the only thing they do. Same as her and Cook. Danny leaves after, smug look on his face and heads off to see his mates. Fucking dick. Needs to find time for her otherwise he'll lose her. Her hand hooverings over Cook's number in her phone. Fuck it. Sends him a text.

_Dick. – Katie_

_No problem, babe, anytime ;) – Cook _

She can't help but smiles. He knows what she means.

*

"So, he stole a bus seat? Why to start his own bus company to rival stagecoach?" Emily's laughing and Naomi's joining in. It's funny. I mean, a bus seat? Only Cook would do that. They're on their way to this club. Emily hasn't said much about it. They're in a taxi, have been for about twenty minutes. Emily looks nice, lovely in fact. Tights, neon skirt and a nice low cut top. Naomi tries not to look. She doesn't _want _to.

"Probably, you should hear some of the stuff he comes out with when he's off his head. Wanted me to start busking with him in the middle of the town so we could go to Ibiza for the summer. Me? Busking? Fuck off." Naomi replies and Emily laughs again.

"I'd pay to see that."

"As long as you put money in the hat I'll busk for you anytime." She winks at the redhead.

"Well, at least you're friends again?" Emily offers and Naomi nods. Emily leans over past Naomi to look out her side of the taxi. Naomi's nose comes close to Emily's neck. She smells nice. Soft. It's lovely. When Emily leans back she has a wide smile on her face. "We're here." Good, Naomi thinks. She needs a fucking party. Emily holds out her hand when Naomi starts to get out of the taxi and she takes it with a flirty, playful wink. Emily laughs and they pay the driver. He drives off and leaves them standing outside the club. Takes them a bit of waiting to get in, but eventually they're inside. It's mostly purple, purple and blue lighting, purple and black wall paint and purple chairs. She can only see purple. It's packed. Men and woman dancing with each other everywhere. There's a bar far at the back, it's not crowded though, everyone's too busy dancing to order a drink. "I'm going to get us a drink, White Russian, right?" Emily's voice in her ear and it makes Naomi tingle. Nods slowly and then watches as the redhead saunters off through the crowd. Stands there at the entrance. Naomi doesn't see why Emily said this club wasn't her sort of thing? She's friends with Cook. She loves clubs and she can't see anything wrong about it or different. Pushes through the crowd and tries to make her way over to Emily. She can see her bend slightly over the bar, pointing at something on the wall behind the bartender and then she's laughing. Emily's laughing and Naomi can't help but smile. She loves Emily's love. So...cute. She cringes internally when she says that word. Naomi Campbell's never thought of anything as cute before. Fuck sake.

Arrives at the bar and taps Emily on the shoulder. "Got impatient."

"Sorry, got a bit carried away." Emily apologies and Naomi waves it off with her hand as fine. "One White Russian for the blonde and a beer for the redhead. I wonder which one of you is the man in the relationship." Naomi's eyes widen when the barman says that as he places their drinks down in front of them. She looks like a dear in headlights. Wants to stop him and tell him that it's not like that. That they're just friends, but he's gone. She chews her lips. Does she look gay? Looks back at Emily and notices that she's sipping her drink and looking away a little bit. She looks a little guilty, hiding something. Naomi can't help but think she looks a little cute though, nervous about being found out. Fuck sake! She's not cute! Urgh! "Emily..." Draws it out like she's angry at her.

"Yes?"

"Something you want to tell me?" Naomi's tapping her finger on the bar now and scowling a little. Emily mumbles something. "I'm sorry, what was that?"

"It's a gay club. We're at a gay club, okay?" Emily replies and looks down at the floor, ready for whatever Naomi has to say about it. She feels bad for lying, well, she didn't really, but she should have told Naomi from the start. Naomi stares at her for a second. Looks around. Now she knows she sees it. Sure there are men and woman here, but a hardly any of them are dancing with each other. Men dancing with each other, men kissing each other and there is a dodgy pair in the corner that seem to be doing something that she really doesn't want to see. Nice. It's the same for the girls, dancing, kissing and fucking. Great. She's at a gay club. A fucking gay club! Well, she fucking deserves this for being so eager to hang out with Emily. Here fault for getting so attached. Emily's still looking at the floor, slowly sipping her beer. Naomi stands up and puts her arm around Emily's shoulder. "Come on, then."

"What?"

"Let's go."

"Okay." Emily heads towards the entrance and Naomi grabs her hand and drags her back.

"And where do you think you're going, missy? I need someone to keep all these lezza's hands off me if I'm staying here." Naomi winks at Emily and the redhead breaks out into the biggest smile Naomi thinks she's ever seen.

"You think highly of yourself, don't you, Campbell?"

"Well, what can I say? I'm fit."

"If that's what you wanna call it." Emily teases and starts to head off for the dance floor. Naomi smiles after her. Grabs her glass of White Russian off the bar and holds it in front of her. Channels her inner Cook and downs the whole thing. It burns her thought so bad. Shakes her head and places the glass back down. Fuck it. Follows Emily out onto the dance floor. She's going to have a good time tonight.

They dance. It's nice. Dance to the beat. Her hips sway along side Emily's. They're laughing, grabbing onto each other, grind into each other. The whole time she just lets herself go. Has a good fucking time for once without over thinking everything. Next thing they do is drugs. They snort coke in the bathroom, laugh harder at nothing. Cling to each other harder on the dance floor. It's been a couple of hours and she's fucking loved it. They slump down together in some seats and lean on each other, sweat coating their skin and their breaths heavy. "You know what? Dykes aren't all that bad. At least they know how to party." Naomi laughs into Emily's ear and she hears a muffled giggle in response.

"Well, what can I say? My people know how to party." Emily snuggles into Naomi. Fascinated by the sound of the heartbeat in the blonde's chest. Taps her hand lightly against Naomi's chest, along with the beat. Emily's closeness is making her head beat tenfold. Bites her lip and stokes the redhead's hair. It's the drugs, Naomi tells herself, when pulls Emily closer to her and rests her head in the red locks. It's the drugs, when she doesn't stop Emily's hand trailing up and down her exposed thigh. It's the drugs when she lets out a light moan from the contact, from the way the redhead's nails gently pull at her skin. It's the drugs when Emily pulls back and smiles warmly at the blonde and she smiles back just as warmly. It's the drugs when Emily's lips brush lightly with hers and she brushes back, letting Emily press her lips harder against hers. It's the drugs when she let's Emily's tongue into her mouth to slowly dance with hers. When she grips Emily's arms harder and yanks her closer. When she moves her hands up to Emily's scalp and tangles her hands in red locks, deepening the kiss, making it harder, lustful. It's all the fucking drugs.

She moans into the kiss harder. Pulls Emily up into her lap and drowns in the strawberries. Fucking wants to die here. Emily's pulling back just as hard, wants this just as much. Emily's trailing kisses down her neck, she's gasping for breath. Never wants it to end. It's the drugs when Emily trails kisses down her chest, when she moves down under the table, when her skirt is hiked up and her knickers are pulled down. It's the drugs when she lets Emily carry on. The drugs when her hips buck up to meet Emily's tongue. The way her hands tangle in Emily's hair and pull her closer, thrusts up to meet her and groans. One hand pulling her at own hair and one in Emily's. Can't think about it. Just needs to feel it. Thigh's grip tighter around Emily's head. She's close, so fucking close. Groans and bites her lip, tries to muffle her sound, doesn't matter that they're in a club, music blaring over them, still needs to do it. Doesn't want to voice it. It's the drugs, when the swipes of the tongue, the pinching of her clit and grabbing of her thighs makes her come. Hard. It's all the drugs. Has to be. Can't be anything else.

Doesn't want to think about what this will mean in the morning. She's not gay. She can't be.

*

Three knocks and he answers, dressed in nothing but a pair of jeans and fag in hand. "Hello, Cook, can I come in, please? I won't be long." JJ stutters in his doorway.

Cook nods. "Course, J, mate. Make yourself at home." JJ steps inside and Cook closes the door behind them. They have a lot to talk about....

**A/N: Chapter 7. Not as long as the last couple but they can only get longer from here! :P Another snow day tomorrow so another update! ;) Hope you liked it? Review? Thanks guys. You rule.**


	8. You're the Reason

**Disclaimer: I don't own Skins! I wish I did though! :D**

**A/N: This story was written for my friend Skye (tommykayketchup or Skuzzeh on LJ) for a birthday present so please all say happy birthday to Skye on the 23****rd ****January because she is lovely! :D **

**Chapter Eight:**

She runs. Of course she fucking does, not physically, mentally. She stays the rest of the night with the drugs pumping through her system, keeping her head clear of too dangerous thought and happy enough to dance with Emily afterwards. When they go their separate ways at the end of the night, they don't kiss. Good. She ignores Emily's texts or is incredibly blunt. Gives her the fucked off 'k' response that everyone knows means that she's pissed off. Emily stops after a while, doesn't try to text her. Gives up. Naomi misses the texts, even though she's being a bitch at least Emily was still there. Fuck sake. They don't have any classes at college anyway so that doesn't matter. Makes avoiding easier. Feels bad because Emily's getting punished for something that _she _let happen. Can't stop being a bitch though. She's a grumpy, sulky, miserable cunt. Can't change that. Her mum notices that something's up as well, asks 'Hey, luv, what's up, dear? Smile.' Or 'So, when's Emily coming round again? Seemed like a lovely girl.' Naomi just responded 'You didn't even fucking see or speak to her, _mum.' _And Gina ignores her as usual. Cook's been around, trying to get them back into their routine. She's glad, wants to be back to normal before all this happened and she ended up with fucking lesbionic thoughts all the fucking time. She's not gay. She's fucking not!

*

Sips her beer and pops a marshmellow into her mouth, Cook bought them. Don't ask her why. He's crazy sometimes that kid, calls them the best thing ever, well, obviously just after sex, drugs and alcohol. It's a Thursday night and Cook and her are at Keith's. Back into the routine that they'd had before and she likes it. Likes to get pissed with a sexist pig, like to outwit him and then get out witted herself sometimes, likes to play darts with him until one in the morning and then stagger home with him. Cook's downing another shot and then slapping Naomi on the back after she's made him laugh. She jumps forward and spills her beer on the bar. "Nice one, twat."

"Sorry, Naomikins, shouldn't be so fucking fun, then, should you, babe?" Pet names. She likes them but she'll never admit it. Would rather cut her own hand off then give Cook the upper hand or a point in their friendship. "Darts, love?" Holds out his hand like a gentleman and winks at her. She plays along fakes a gasp and takes it. Heads over to the board with him and gets the darts off Keith, hands three to Naomi. "Ladies, first."

"When the fuck did you become a gentleman?" She mocks and he gives her the finger.

"Always nice to the ladies, I am, Babe." She rolls her eyes. Fuck off is he.

"Yeah, only when you want something, James. What do you want?" She throws the dart at the board and hits an eight. Nice. She's shit at this game after all and Cook's been playing in this pub for years, he's pro. Cook's sparks up a fag and presses it in between his lips, blows out smoke in Naomi's face and she coughs, gives him the finger.

"Oh, stop complaining, love, you smoke all the bloody time. Over reactor," Winks at her and hits a double twenty with his first dart. Cunt. "And, babe, I don't want shit. The Cookie Monster is always nice, when he wants to be, and tonight he wants to be nice. If you'd rather that I'd treat you normally, dear, then say the word." She would, doesn't tell him that though because she doesn't know what's happening in his head lately. She doesn't really most of the time, but she likes to think that she has some idea, doesn't really though. She hmms her response as he finishes up his go, he's trouncing her already by the points.

Makes her best attempt to keep up with him, but by the time he's down to a hundred sees just broke into the hundred and ninety mark. "What do you want to do tomorrow?" Friday's was the only day in their week they didn't plan out before hand. Monday's were now Jeggers, Tuesday's they'd go to the snooker club, Wednesday's out and about in the town doing whatever they wanted, Thursday's Keith's pub, Friday's they decided on the day, Saturday's she doesn't see him and Sunday's they sleep and start the routine over. Cook falters for a minute and misses the dart board.

"Sorry, babe, I can't do anything tomorrow. Gotta see a man about a dog." He sounds genuinely sorry. She's a bit taken back though. What's she supposed to do now, then? Should have told before hand so she could have made other plans....yeah, right, Cook's her only mate. Well, Emily's still her mate....but not really, they talk on and off. She's a fucking loser.

"Oh." Is all she can say in response. Can't find words and doesn't want to because she can't act like she cares because then he might fuck off again and....she doesn't want to think about what could happen the next time he doesn't want to see her. Doesn't want to think about the last time. The way Emily's tongue moved against her, the way she fucking loved it. It's all too much to think about so she locks it away and falls into her routine with Cook because he can make anyone forget. Just for a little while. Doesn't want to sit at home tomorrow night and think about it. Never wants to think about it.

"Sorry, Naomikins, it's important otherwise I wouldn't have bailed." His arm wraps around her shoulder and she presses her head on his shoulder. Cook realises then. In that moment when he willingly wraps his arm around her and she reciprocates, that they need each other. They're not just friends, they're best friends. He also realises that something is wrong, seriously wrong with the blonde and strokes her arm soothingly. Wants to ask her about it because he has an inkling; Emily, but he doesn't want to press, doesn't want to because that's not what they do. They never have. Wants to help, but can't. It's not who he is. "What about Saturday, though? I'm free and game if you are, dear? Let's get fucking wrecked! What do you say?" He's smiling at her now and she can't help but smile back.

"Yeah, sounds good thanks." He wants to ask what's wrong but doesn't. Just picks up his darts and throws the last one at the board. Throws his arms up in the air and yells out in victory. "Another win for the Cookie Monster! And the crowd goes wild!" He imitates a crowd's cheer and Naomi shoves his shoulder with a smile.

"I thought you were being a gent? Aren't you supposed to let the lady win?" She crosses her arms and gives the best hurt face she can give.

"Sorry, Naomikins, but some things even the Cookie Monster can't part with."

"Arrogance?"

"Nah, babe, victory!" Grabs Naomi's hand and makes her lift his arm in victory. "Championio!" She laughs at him. He's good at making her forget.

"What are you doing tomorrow night, then?" She's curious. He says it's important and that always means it is serious when it comes to him.

"Important business, Blondie. Life or death, innit? Only thing that could tear me from you for an evening." Winks and smiles. She smiles back.

"Like?" She pushes. She knows he could react badly and snap at her. He doesn't, just sighs and puts his beer back down on the bar.

"I'm seeing JJ, babes." Oh. JJ? His ex best friend? What for? What happened between them? Why is it one big massive secret? Why? She wants to know the answer to all these questions. She's not allowed to though and she knows that.

"Oh. Cool." Dampens the mood it does. Cook looks back at his beer and takes a swig and she looks at the dart board. Fuck sake, Naomi, why ask? Cook coughs and then motions to Keith for another beer and a little extra. Keith hands it over.

"Enjoy that Cookie." Winks at his nephew.

"Cheers, Keith. Owe you one."

"You don't owe me shit, Cook. Neither does your blonde friend here. Might as well be family as well the way she's around." Naomi looks up at that and smiles kindly at Keith. He may be repulsive but he can be nice when he wants to be. He nods and her with a smile and then heads over to get a drink for another person at the other end of the bar. Cook is quite like Keith. Obviously Cook is a lot better looking but he's basically the same person. Kind when he wants to be and a cunt the rest of the time, maybe the perfect combination. That's why they get on. They're both cunts most of the time.

"Another game of darts?" She offers Cook and he smiles.

"Gonna lose again, babe." He smirks and heads for the board.

"What and the 'Cookie Monster' is the only thing standing in my way? Pffft. Easy." She teases and takes the darts off him again.

"Tell you what, babes, if you beat me then I'll take off all my clothes and run round this pub shouting 'Naomi Campbell is champion!' deal?" He holds out his hand and she looks down at it. Smiles and takes it. She wins.

*

"What the fuck is up with you, then?" Katie's harsh. Always is when it comes to Emily moping around. Just fucking pisses her off. She's sitting on her bed, flicking through a glossy magazine, some article about what to wear this month. They're wrong as usual. Emily's been moping around for a while now. Being quieter than usual. Stopped going out to parties as much.

"What?" Emily replies quietly. She's sitting on the computer in their room, flicking through facebook pictures.

"You've been proper miserable lately, what the hell is up?" Katie's worried a little. She does care about her sister. Just wishes she'd stop being such a loser most of the time. Glad she's not hanging out with that Naomi girl another more though. Fucking lezza. "Is it that lezza? Fucking depressed because she won't speak to you anymore? Get over it. She clearly doesn't want to be your friend. Who would? Loser."

"Go fuck yourself, Katie." Emily's eyes widen as it comes out of her lips and turns tightly back towards the computer screen. Katie's eyes are wide as well but they soon become angry ones. Who the fuck does she think she is?

"What did you just say?" Emily doesn't reply. Katie gets up and spins Emily round in her seat. "Answer me, Emily! What did you just fucking say?"

"I..." Hesitates. Fuck it she's in for the long road now anyway. "I told you to go fuck yourself." She gets slapped. Knew it was coming, was ready. Doesn't recoil away from her twin. Nearly laughs at that. Twin? They're nothing alike. They're not fucking friends and they never have been. Katie's too fucking self obsessed most of the time to even think about her sister.

"Keep your mouth shut, Emily." Katie warns with a scowl.

"Oh, fuck off! Just fuck off, Katie! You don't fucking control my life and you have no right to judge me on who I hang out with!"

"I do if they're a lesbian! She's _gay_, Emily! What would mum say? Or dad? Do you want to become one? Is that it? Looking for a way to get attention. Fucking earn it, then." Katie hisses. It's fucking on. Fitch fight time.

"You didn't give a shit until today. You never said anything about Naomi being gay until today? What's your problem, Katie? Your life so fucking messed up at the moment that you have to take it out on me? Grow up." Katie fights to keep her surprise down. Doesn't like this side of Emily. The confident side of Emily. Fucking Campbell, what's she done to her? Bitch. Fucking cunt. Urgh! Her and Cook are the worst type of people.

"Grow up? You're the one that's hanging out with a lesbian. That's fucking mature, isn't it? Hanging out with a lezza just so people notice you. Why don't you actually try and get some friends, yeah? Stop leeching off me. _Loser._" Katie's reply stings. Emily looks down at the ground and Katie thinks she might have gone a little bit too far. Emily looks back up at her teary eyed and stares her sister in the eyes. She may be a fucking loser but at least she's not like Katie. At least she isn't so uncaring that nothing matters to her but herself. She cares about people. Cares about Naomi. So much. Makes her hiccup just thinking about what's happened, about the way they've fallen apart after what happened. She just wants to see the blonde, wants to be friends because....she's the only friend she has. Katie's right she is a loser, but she's not going to be pushed around by her fucking sister anymore. Clenches her jaw.

"I may be a fucking loser," it's so spiteful the way it comes out. Can't stop it. "But at least I'm not fucking every bloke I can find for self acceptance. A penis isn't the fucking key to your soul Katie and it's not going to make you a better person! And Cook? Really? Naomi told me things and really? Him? You really have hit rock bottom, haven't you?" Katie looks panicked. Someone knows her secret, tries to defend herself and opens her mouth to speak. "No. It's my turn to fucking speak for once. One, Naomi isn't gay. I _am._ Two, She's avoiding me because of that. So don't assume you know everything, Katie, because you really don't. Three, I'm not letting you push me around anymore. We're sisters! Not enemys! Get the fuck over yourself!" And Katie is slammed back down to reality. Didn't know that Emily had it in her. Katie doesn't reply, doesn't breath. Just stills for a moment and lets it wash over her. Sits back down on her bed and rests her head against her pillow. Emily's doing the same, looking a bit shell shocked at what had just happened.

"What's happened to you?" Katie asks, doesn't see her sister anymore. She's a complete stranger. She's right though, Cook? Really? What has she let herself become. Fights back the tears and turns over on her side to face the wall. A single tear escapes, just one and slides down her cheeks. Katie doesn't do crying, but this one time, she will. Emily doesn't know either. Naomi has something to do with it. Wishes she could see her. That she had someone to talk to about it all.

*

Naomi heads out to some party that Cook and her would have been invited to the next night. Sips some beer in the corner and looks like a wall flower. People are dancing around her, having a good time. Doesn't even know why she came. Doesn't want to sit indoors, either. Doesn't want to think about Emily. She downs her drink and gets another. "Oh, shit." Makes a beeline for the door as a redhead makes her way over to her.

"Naomi!" Emily calls and Naomi stops in her track. Bites her lip and stands facing away from the redhead. "How...how have you been?" An olive branch. She can't take it. Wants to but it could mean something different to Emily. Doesn't want her to think that there is something there because she's not gay.

"Hey, Emily." Doesn't look at the twin when she turns around. "I've been alright, you?"

"Yeah, been fine," Which means she hasn't. "Haven't seen you in a while, been busy?" It makes her feel so guilty. The redhead looks so lost before her. Wants to pull her into a hug and tell her that everything is fine and that they can be friends. Can't. Naomi Campbell doesn't do caring. Emily gets to her more than anyone else and she can't stand to be like that. Can't stand to be so open with someone and have nothing there to protect her from that.

"Yeah, college and stuff. Catching up with me and stuff. You?" It's forced. Emily can tell as well, wishes that what happened at the club had never happened.

"Yeah, well, not much. Haven't got many other friends, have I?" Oh, no. Naomi feels. She actually fucking feels like the biggest cunt in the world. She can't help it though. Her mind is telling her to go towards Emily and her body is already running. Sighs, fuck it. Steps towards Emily and puts her hand on her shoulder. "Maybe we could hang sometime," Emily looks up hopefully. "When I've finished with my college stuff?" Emily looks back down at the floor and nods with a sad smile. Naomi's hand lingers. Can't fucking stop herself. Emily's skin is so soft. No. Takes her hand back. Doesn't know what to say and neither does Emily. They just stand there in silence. It's nice. Naomi doesn't know when she'll be ready to be around Emily, if ever. It makes her sad. Opens her mouth to say something, doesn't know what, but has to say something. Interrupted. "Why did you bring me here, Cook? You said you wanted to talk." She hears JJ at the other end of the hall. Sees Cook with his arm around JJ's shoulder and ruffling his hair with the other hand. She feels jealous. "They're friends?" Emily asks, a bit sceptical. She has a right to be. Cook doesn't look like the sort of person to hang out with a kid like JJ. No offence. Fuck it. She doesn't care. Pisses her off.

"We did talk. On the way here, JJ, and the other night. Come on, mate, let's have a party?" Drags JJ off into the crowd. Naomi smiles sadly, Cook won't admit it but not having JJ as a friend is affecting him. Badly. Makes her sad because she can't fill the void.

"No, Cook, I don't want to party. Please, can we just go?" JJ begs and pulls away from Cook.

"Come on, J, mate. I just want to have a good time with you, man? Missed you, I have." Cook pulls JJ into ruffles his hair again and JJ pushes him back.

"Cook, stop. Please just fucking stop." JJ mutters, he's shaking. Emily and Naomi and watching from the other side of the room.

"Oh, come on, mate." Cook reaches for JJ but he recoils. Cook drops his hand and looks beaten.

"Don't fucking touch me!" JJ roars. He's shaking really badly now.

"JJ..." Cook tries again but JJ just pushes him away this time. The room's gone quiet now. Cook's standing in the middle of the commotion, as usual. Naomi bites her lips. The look on Cook's face is just helpless. She's never seen him like this. "Come on, JJ, mate. Please?"

"Hey, maybe you should back off." Someone tries to intervene but Cook glares at them.

"Stay out of it, dickhead." He practically growls it. The kid backs down and slips back into the crowd. Katie's laugh can be heard as she heads for the room, but goes silent when she enters. Watches as JJ mutters to himself in the middle of the room and Cook is standing just a few feet away from him. "Danny, shut the fuck up." She hisses and her boyfriend complies.

"Stay away from me, Cook. You only cause me trouble. Mum says so. Says you're a bad influence, she doesn't want her son to be a fuck up. I'm already a fuck up. A fucking stupid, dickhead, curly haired bastard." Slaps himself on his chest. Cook goes towards him, but he pushes him away again. "Leave me alone! JUST FUCKING LEAVE ME ALONE!" He practically screams it. Naomi's shocked, looks over at Katie who's just as shocked. "You're the reason it's like this! You're the reason Freddie's dead!" Cook punches JJ. We all watch it happen in slow motions. Cook's face scrunches up, he lungs forward and knocks the smaller boy to the floor. Grabs him by the collar and slams him down again.

"Fucking take that back, JJ! You fucking take that back right now! Fucking take it back! Take it back!" He isn't asking though, Naomi thinks as two people from the crowd and try to remove him from JJ. He's begging.

Cook pulls away from the two and feigns a lung at one. "Get the fuck off me! Fuck the lot of you." And he's gone again just like that. Naomi doesn't know what to do. What to fucking feel, Emily hugs her from behind and she leans back against it. So fucking lost. She looks at the other redhead. Can't read her face. Doesn't want to think about it. She doesn't cry, feels like it. Wants to know why all this is happening, she'll never know the answer. Looks at JJ shaking on the floor. Doesn't know what to do. She's so fucking lost.....Emily's right there with her though. Leans back. Gets lost.

*

Cook stops outside. Fuck the lot of them. Fucking JJ, he knows fuck all. If he wants to be a fucking dick then he can be a fucking dick. Cookie don't need no one. Cookie don't need shit. Cookie was fine before they all came around anyway. Fucking stupid town. Clenches his eyes tight for a second and then breathes. Reaches into his pocket and pulls out a fag, sparks up and takes a long drag. Hears footsteps behind him. "Alright, Katiekins, up for a good time?" Winks at her. He's back to normal. Back to _faking. _

"Are you okay?" He can't read her face. Can't tell what she's thinking.

"I'm great, babes. Be better if you hiked up that pretty little skirt for me though, what do you say?" Pulls her close to him, breathes heavily on her neck.

"No, Cook. Are _you _okay?" She repeats. She doesn't know what she's doing. Or why. Knows that he needs it. She'll call it a moment of weakness later.

"Fine, then get to fuck! Cookie doesn't hang around with mood killers! It's all about a good time, babe, if you don't want in then you can go fuck yourself!" Walks away from her. Fuck her if she wants to be a boring bitch. He's had enough of fucking everything here. It's getting fucking boring.

"Where are you going, Cook?" She calls.

"Fuck knows." He calls back and heads out of the alley.

*

When Naomi gets back that night she sighs. Too much going on to even think about sleeping. She doesn't call Emily. Thinks about it but doesn't call her. Wants to. Sighs and rolls over on her head. She's worried about Cook. Has a right to be. She is his best friend after all, even if JJ clearly means fucking more to him. No. She's his best friend now and JJ isn't. Fuck sake. Her phone vibrating on the side of her dresser breaks her thought and she picks it up.

_See you round, Naomikins. – Cook. _Drops her phone because she knows what it means. Heads over to his room at the halls straight away. Knocks, no answer. A new flower pot is sitting in the place of the last one she broke. Lifts it up and grabs the key as quick as she can, pushes it into the lock and pushes open the door. Drops her bag. It's empty, the bed is made up. She moves over to the cupboard and opens it, no clothes. Checks the dresser, no alcohol. There is nothing in the room expect a picture on the desk. The three musketeers. Naomi slowly sits down on the bed and sighs. Cook's gone. Now she really is all alone.

**A/N: And the angst begins :) well, that's chapter eight! Hope you enjoyed it! Sorry its a bit late. Review? I'd like to say that most of this fic was written while listening to Florence and the machine, so thank her because without her music I wouldn't be able to update every day! Hope it was okay? **


	9. Eight Weeks

**Disclaimer: I don't own Skins! I wish I did though! **

**A/N: This story was written for my friend Skye (tommykayketchup or Skuzzeh on LJ) for a birthday present so please all say happy birthday to Skye on the 23****rd ****January because she is lovely! :D **

**Chapter Nine: **

*

The first week is the hardest. Cook's gone and Emily's not around either. College is tough without any friends and Naomi finds this out the hard way. Sits on her own at lunch every day, harsh whispers and glancing looks only make her wallow in self pity that much more enjoyable. Can't even be bothered to curse them in her mind. The crappy college food is the only things she eats because she can't stand to sit with her mum for dinner, she's asking all the time how James is and how's Emily and it's just so fucking annoying because those are the two people that she can't see. Sits in her room on her laptop and does nothing. Absolutely nothing, can't do anything because Cook's not around to take her out every night and she's too scared to pick up the phone and call Emily. Fuck sake. When did she become such a soppy git? Presses her hand against her head and sighs. Fuck them, she's been alone before, was before she came here and she can fucking do it again. This is why she didn't want friends in the first place! Leans back on her computer and sighs, flicks through her facebook friends, doesn't have many but has some she doesn't know, that doesn't mean they are her friends, though. Doesn't even know most of them. Facebook sucks. A notification pops up in at the bottom of her screen 'Katie Fitch has sent you a friend request'. Fuck off.

*

Week two isn't much easier than the first. Still sits alone and watches Emily from a far. Emily still follows her sister around and does her bidding. Naomi disapproves, Emily's her own fucking person after all. She tells herself that's the reason why she cares so much about the redhead. Looks back down at the tray in front her and sighs. She fucking hates this food. Forces herself to eat it and heads off to her lesson. When she gets home she sits in front of her laptop screen, like she has for the past week, and rots. Opens up and email and bites her lip. Clicks accept and then she's on Katie Fitches profile. It's not as self obsessed as she thought it was going to be. Sure there are comments or status updates like 'Danny, Love you forever babe' Naomi cringes, that guy is a fucking dick, but nothing about herself. Not many pictures either, well, not recent ones at least. No status updates either for the past week, must not have gone on. A chat invite pops up at the bottom on the screen and she almost dies when she sees Katie Fitch has messaged her.

_Hey – Katie. _Hesitates before replying.

_Hello... –Naomi_

_How are you? – Katie_

_Fine, thanks...you? – Naomi_

_I'm good, what you up to? – Katie_

_Not much, yourself? – Naomi_

_Nothing. – Katie. _And then that's it. It's over. Neither girl has the greatest desire to talk to each other anymore. Naomi's a bit freaked out. Katie hates her. No, Katie fucking despises her. Why the hell is she talking to her? Naomi closes the chat and chews her lip. What. The. Fuck. Maybe it's Emily on Katie's account? No, Katie would never give her password to Emily. Emily. God, she fucking misses her. No. She won't allow herself to think about it. Not those rosy red lips, or the way her hair is soft and silky or the way she tastes like strawberries....No. Fuck sake, Naomi, get a hold of yourself. Talks to Katie one more time that week, same as last time, just pleasantries. Is confused as hell. Checks Cook's profile. There's nothing on there, he's never updated, not even once. She's just being fucking hopefully and it's fucking pathetic.

*

Week three is just meh. Starts to blur everything. People walk past her and she doesn't even notice them anymore. Don't matter to her, do they? Keeps her head down and does the work she needs to do. She's better off as a loner. Tells herself that but she still checks Cook's profile every night and Emily's. Katie talks to her every night now. Doesn't understand anything. Doesn't understand why Cook had to leave, doesn't understand why she can't just walk up to Emily and talk to her and doesn't understand why someone that hates her wants to talk to her! It's all so fucked up. She's beginning to crack and it's all too much. Stands in front of the mirror in the college toilets, stares at herself. Bags under her eyes, worry lines covered up with a little make up, she's not the sort to use make up that much but it was becoming noticeable, and just looks done. Feels her eyes prickle a little and clenches her jaw. Stares her water eyed self out in the mirror, tries to beat it because she's stubborn, it's a hand on her shoulder that stops her staring competition with the mirror. "Naomi? Are you okay?" Emily. The voice gives it away instantly and then she stares at the redhead next to her in her reflection. Rubs her eyes and sniffs. "Fine, just got something in my eye."

"Both of them?" Emily questions softly, doesn't want to push too much.

"Yes," It's harsher than she intends, Emily nods sadly and looks at the floor. Heads for the door, Naomi breath hitches. Can't stop herself. "Emily..."

"Yeah?" The redhead turns round so fast that it looks like her head might snap off. Naomi stops for a second and just looks at her. Takes in the bright red hair, the button nose and the bow in her hair, takes in everything that is Emily and tries to resist. Can't.

"I'm nearly done with that college stuff now." Emily smiles at her softly.

"Let me know when. I'm always free." Naomi smiles back gently and nods. Watches as the door opens and the redhead's gone again. Fuck sake. Why did she say that? Because she misses her. Won't admit that though. Her brain's a fuck up.

*

Week four she gives in and texts Emily. Has to have some fucking social life otherwise she might just kill herself inside these fucking four walls. It's pleasant. Sweet texts just asking 'how are you? And 'when are you free?' She always promises soon. Never texts her. They text all the time. Costs Naomi a shit load of money for credit but she keeps buying more. Tries to fight down the tingling feeling she gets in her stomach every time she gets a text from Emily. Bad diet, she says. She also fucking lies. Week four is also the week that she agrees to see Emily. Asks her if she wants to go for a coffee or something, couldn't be anymore fucking lame about it. Feels like JJ when she asks her, waits for her response like it's a first date request. It's _not. _Emily says yes, of course she does, she's lovely. Urgh, she's such a fucking sap now. Hates it. Cook would crucify her, she doesn't care though. He's a dick and she's never needed him. Still checks his facebook though. Katie's on. Speaks to her every day. Same again today.

_Hey – Katie._

_Hey- Naomi_

_How are you? – Katie._

_I'm good, you? – Naomi. _

_I'm good, what you up to? – Katie._

_Not a lot, you? – Naomi._

_Same. – Katie._ And then that's it. Katie stops talking and Naomi wants to grab the laptop and smash it down on the desk. Katie's so fucking frustrating! Urgh! Fuck it!

_Just ask, Katie. – Naomi._

_What? :S – Katie. _Naomi rolls her eyes. Katie will always fucking be in denial. Can't help but imagine Cook saying 'Irony...come on, Naomikins, you're the biggest lezza around and you won't admit it, babe! Give Katiekins a break.' and then he winks at her. Fuck sake.

_You know what. You've been dying to ask me for weeks, Katie. So just fucking do it already – Naomi. _Clenches her hands because this twin pisses her off.

_Fuck off, Naomi. I have no clue what you're talking about! Don't be a fucking bitch – Katie._ And that's the Katie Naomi's used to. Swears all the time and is a typical bitch. Oh, how she has missed her so! Bitch.

_You've been creeping around me because you want to know where Cook is. Admit it. – Naomi._

_I'm not going to admit shit. I've just been trying to be nice but if you're going to be a bitch about it then you can go fuck yourself, Campbell. Get some fanny and chill out, lezza. – Katie. _Bitch.

_You're the one with an itch to scratch by the looks of it. You're the one following Cook round like a dog. Enough said, really. – Noami._ Ha. Fuck you, Fitch.

_Oh, fuck off! I don't give a shit about Cook! He can fuck off and die for all I care! I tried to be nice, but you can go fuck yourself! – Katie. _Yeah, keep telling yourself that, Katie. Naomi smirks. Her smile gets even wider when 'Katie is offline' appears in the chat. She wins. Fucking loves it. Tempted to update her status and announce it to the world. Doesn't.

_But you do know where he is? – Katie. _Wow. Didn't expect that. Katie almost sounds desperate. Laughs at the thought, no way, she can't be.

_Why do you care? – Naomi._

_I don't. He's in one of my classes and the teacher wants to know. – Katie. _Liar, but she won't call her on it. This is serious. She didn't even realise it.

_Sorry, Katie. The bastard's avoiding my calls as well. Find someone else to shag. – Naomi. _She feels sorry for her...but she's still a fucking bitch.

*

Week five is where everything starts to happen in her life. First thing that happens is that Cook updates his status. _'Party time! Let's go fucking mental!' _She can't help but smile at it. He's so....predictable in a completely unpredictable way, makes no sense but she just goes with it. Goes to comment on it but someone's beat her to it and she almost laughs. It's be commented on twelve seconds after Cook posts her. '_Where are you?'- Katie_. What is she stalking his page or something? What the fuck is up with her? Naomi shakes her head and comments on her own. _'Fuck sake, James, grow up and come back now. Dick.' – Naomi. _No smile. She's pissed off. Turns off her laptop and doesn't expect a reply, doesn't get one, but neither does Katie. Just gets a 'Cookie Monster' likes your status in return. Hers says 'Dick.'. She fucking hates facebook, so very much and yet it's become her life. Fuck! She's seeing Emily tonight.

She takes hours to get dressed, doesn't know why. Finally decides on something and heads out. Her mum asks where she's going but she doesn't reply, just opens the door and walks to the cafe. She's twenty minutes early. Spends the whole time biting her lip and refilling on coffee. She's had three now. Fucking nerves. Emily steps inside one minute late and Naomi smiles at her. "Hey, Naomi," She waves and takes a seat across from her. "Sorry, I'm late."

"Only by a minute." Naomi replies, can't stop smiling. Fuck sake. She's been doing a lot of things she doesn't want to lately.

"A minute is still late." Emily replies and laughs, Naomi rolls her eyes.

"Two coffee's please." She asks the waitress and about three minutes later they had their drinks. Now, only for conversation... "I've missed you." Naomi says it. Not Emily and Emily's eyes widen and then her cheeks flush. Naomi blushes as well, she actually fucking blushes. She's never done that in her life before.

"I've...missed you, too." It's almost breathed, Emily's staring at her like she's the only person in the world and the worst part is...she wants it that way. Shakes her head and sips her drink. Sighs as the warm liquid slides down her throat.

"Good, what have you been up to?" Naomi asks finally, breaking the comfortable silence that had fallen on the pair.

"Not a lot, mainly college and dealing with Katie." The last bit comes out a bit spiteful and Naomi raises an eyebrow at the redhead.

"Problem?" She says with a slight smile and Emily laughs in return and puts her coffee down.

"Katie's been extra bitchy lately."

"Tell me about it." Naomi puffs out. Emily's confusion is clear on her face. Her nose scrunches up and Naomi's eyes follow each crease in it with her eyes. Emily's shaking her head and her mouth is moving but Naomi's not listening. Just sits there and nods. "Naomi? Naomi? Are you listening to what I'm saying? Oi!" She slaps Naomi on the shoulder and Naomi shakes her head.

"What?"

"Didn't think so." Emily tries to look angry but just ends up smiling at the blonde. Fuck sake. Strawberries. Fuck off!

"Sorry, got lost there for a second. What were you saying?"

"I was saying that Katie's been a bit more bitchier than usual lately and then you sounded like you knew something so I was asking you what, well, that was just about the same time I bored you to daydreaming apparently. Bitch." Says it with a smile and Naomi feigns shock.

"I think you'll find I was listening intently. I just got distracted by...something shiny over there." Points in the direction of the sun and Emily raises an eyebrow and smiles.

"You expect me to believe you were looking at the sun?"

"Yeah, why not?"

"Because you'd be blind." Shit.

"Fine! I wasn't listening! Happy?" Naomi scowls and crosses her arms. Fucking Emily.

"Very, now you were going to tell me something? I want to know why she's being a bitch."

"She's missing, Cook." Naomi says it like it's so obvious and Emily just scrunches up her face.

"What?" Sounds so much like Katie that Naomi nearly cringes. Naomi just stares pointedly at her and Emily shakes her head. "Fuck off. No way."

"Way."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"Fight me."

"Emily Fitch!" She gasps. "You sound like a chav!"

"Don't mess, blud. I'll knife you." And the worst thing is that Emily says it with a completely straight face. Naomi cracks up so bad. Bites her lip to try and stop herself, can't. Emily joins her. She likes this. Misses this. Why was she such a dick? "You're being serious, though, aren't you?"

"Yeah..." Nods. "She was speaking to me on facebook," Emily looks shocked and Naomi laughs. "Yeah, I know, I looked like that at the time. She spoke to me for about two weeks not saying anything until I finally called her on it and asked her if she wanted to know where Cook is and she denied it, but then admitted unintentionally that she did. So, to summarise, you're sister is fucking annoying and misses my ex-best friend. Our lives suck." Naomi smiles, but Emily can see that there is sadness there. She smiles sadly as well.

"Can't believe it."

"It's fucked up, I know." Naomi nods.

"He's not back, then?" Emily presses. Naomi stiffens a bit, Emily notices.

"No, I don't care if he doesn't ever come back." Naomi spits it, doesn't cover her feelings up very well nowadays. Naomi wants to scowl at herself for slipping up, but Emily doesn't push it. Just nods. _Gets her._

"It's fucked up, isn't it?" Emily sips her coffee as she says it and Naomi smiles.

"Yeah, it is."

"At least we have each other, right?" Emily offers, holding out her hand.

Naomi reaches over and takes it. "Yeah, at least we do." Smiles at the redhead. Fuck it. She wants this. Wants to be her friend, so she fucking will. Hugs Emily close when they leave.

"I had a good time. Let's do it again soon?"

"Yes. Soon." Naomi smiles biggest she has in a long time. Thank fuck for redheaded lesbians. Doesn't want alone. It's now that she realises that she doesn't have to be. Not when people want her and she wants them as her friend. Glad. So very fucking glad.

*

When it finally comes to week eight, everything's setting back into a routine. Naomi's hanging out with Emily every night now instead of Cook. Even goes to Keith's with her once or twice because Keith says 'Cookie's not around anymore, but you're still welcome here, anytime, blondie' she's grateful. Nice when he wants to be. Emily and Naomi. Emily and Naomi. She thinks about it in her head all the time. Friends. Writes, Emily and Naomi down on a piece of paper one time, doesn't know what made her do it. Just does. They do everything that her and Cook used to do, but Emily's not the new Cook; No, she's Emily and Naomi's glad to have her. They laugh, they get drunk, they play darts, argue and hug. They do everything that best friends do. It's perfect. Forgets about Cook.

Emily's laying on her bed one night and Naomi's on the laptop. "You staying the night, Ems?"

"Only if you want me to, Nai." It's so easy. The way they just _are. _Naomi turns and smiles.

"Well, I don't know, Ems. Might rough me up in the night. Make me your slave." Winks at the redhead.

"Only if you want me to, Nai." Emily doesn't look up from her magazine.

"Sorry, stuck on repeat? Am I boring you?"

"You? Bore me? No. This article is just slightly more interesting, is all." Naomi looks shocked, then scowls and it ends up with a tickle fight on the bed. Breathless and hot, Naomi's laying above the redhead.

"So," breathes hard. "Are you staying the night, then?"

"Yes, please..." Emily breathes. They just stay there like that. Just for a bit. Looking at each other. Friends. Friends don't do this. Naomi doesn't think about it. Just carries on straddling Emily. Her hand moves up Emily's arm and cups her face, smiles at her warmly.

Emily's hand is on her hips, stroking up and down. Her top is slightly pulled up at the back because of the fight and Emily's nails against her skin; pulling ever so slightly against it, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. Naomi flicks her hair back and bites her lips. Emily licks her lips. They've both never wanted someone so much in their life as they've wanted someone right now. Fucking strawberries.

*

Three harsh knocks on his door and JJ's already there. Standing in his teddy bear pyjamas, holding what looks like model aeroplane. Fucking hell. He is such a freak. "H-hello, K-katie. What are you doing here? At my house I mean."

"I need some answers, JJ." She's going to be honest. No bullshit. She remembers what happened last time and she doesn't want him to freak out.

"About what, Katie?"

"Are you going to let me in?" She's impatient. Always has been.

"N-no."

"What!?" She snaps. Fucking JJ. Who does he think he is? It's fucking cold out here!

"M-mum says that I'm not allowed to have girls inside after nine, because she would be in bed and there is the possibilities that I could have sex, oh, god! Sex with Katie! Bobbins! Jesus! Fuck! Shit!" Katie steps back and looks him pointedly in the eye.

"JJ, I would never have sex with you, now snap out of it." Lightly taps him on the side of the face and his head snaps back up to look at her. Fucking freak. Fuck sake, let's just get this over with. "Now, I need to know what happened with Cook, Freddie and you. Tell me."

"What? Why?" He's shaking still.

"Because Cook's gone missing."

"So? You hate Cook." Doesn't ask. States it. She agrees. She does fucking hate Cook. Then why is she looking for him? Oh, fuck off.

"Yeah."

"Then why do you care if he's gone or not? Because if you're looking for him then that would mean that you do care and that maybe you l--"

"I just do, JJ, okay? Fuck sake. Just answer my question." Impatient. Crosses her arms and taps her foot. He's like a fucking child.

"No, I'm not allowed. It's bad. So fucking bad. Can't think about it. Don't want to. No! NO!" She clamps her hand over his mouth and pushes him against the door.

"Shut the fuck up, JJ!" He keeps talking behind her hand. Fine. "Do you want to wake your mum up?" He shakes his head, no. Mummy's boy. "No, I'm not allowed. It's bad. So fucking bad. Can't think about it. Don't want to. No! NO!" She clamps her hand over his mouth and pushes him against the door.

"Shut the fuck up, JJ!" He keeps talking behind her hand. Fine. "Do you want to wake your mum up?" He shakes his head, no. Mummy's boy. "Then shut up." He does. She steps back and wipes herself down "Right, now what happened?"

"We were, well, it was two years ago, Cook wanted us all to go out for the day. We were all the best of friends, wanted us to go to an amusement park, I didn't want to go because the chances that you can have an accident on a ride at those places is quite high and I didn't want to die, so I was a bit hesitant," Katie glares at him. "Sorry, so, yes, we went to the amusement park, had a good time and then left. Cook wanted to go out in the evening, though again, wanted to explore. That's what he said. Dragged us somewhere that we were unfamiliar with. Nicked a car and drove, just drove. Then we stopped and everything went wrong." JJ's shaking. Katie reaches forward and puts her hand on his shoulder, strokes gently. Fuck sake, why does she have to be such a bitch all the time.

"JJ...you can...stop if you want." She doesn't want him to, but fuck it; she's got a fucking guilty conscience. Fuck sake.

"No, it's fine, just let me breath. Get the blood circulation going. Blood flow. Two seconds." He's breathing heavy. "Let's go for a walk. Just let me get a coat because the weather is bitter and the temperature is bad for my skin." Goes inside and grabs a jacket. Katie nods slowly, shocked by the sudden turn around of the situation. Follows JJ off into the night, JJ's ready to tell her the secret and she fucking wants to know. Hurries after. This is not for Cook. It's not. No way.

*

He signs onto facebook. _Where are you? – Katie. _And a long winded message from Naomi that he chooses to ignore it. Sparks up a fag and walks out. Heads for the pier and sits on the rail. Brighton. Been a long time since he's been in Bristol now. Been a long time since he's seen Naomi, JJ and Katie. Misses them. Not enough to go back though. Never. Freddie. JJ. Fuck that. Fuck all of that. It wasn't his fault. It wasn't.

**A/N: So my plans for tonight got cancelled so I wrote a shorter filler chapter. Hope you enjoy it! :D Review? I'll try and update tomorrow :) **


	10. Part One: Consquences

**Disclaimer: I don't own Skins! I wish I did though! :D**

**A/N: This story was written for my friend Skye (tommykayketchup or Skuzzeh on LJ) for a birthday present so please all say happy birthday to Skye on the 23****rd ****January because she is lovely! :D **

**Chapter Ten:**

"So, what happened next?" Katie takes a seat on the bench next to JJ. He shifts away from her. Probably because he's uncomfortable being around her. Not her fault she's intimidating. It's a quality to be a strong woman. "Well?" Impatience getting the better of her again.

"I suppose it would be best to start from the beginning....sensible story structure..." JJ draws out and she waits. Just waits. She's never really wanted to know a secret this bad in her whole life. Sure she's been desperate to find out what people are doing behind everyone else's back or some sordid secret that no one else can know...but...but this one just matters. She doesn't just want to know. She _needs _to. Feels like biting her nails because it's killing her! Wants to snap at JJ and tell him to hurry up already and stop fucking dragging it out. Doesn't. She has to play it cool and try not to lose it again otherwise JJ might not tell her at all. "Well, like I had said before we got here....we were going to go to the amusement park..."

_*_

"_Come on, GayJay! I promise that you won't have to go on any of the big rides, okay? We'll just stick to the teacups when it comes to you, yeah?" Cook is sitting in an arm chair, legs slung over one side and fag in his mouth. It's a shed. What they're sitting in. It's dusty, old and smells of piss. Greatest combo in the world for a teenage bloke. JJ's still against it. Going that is. The statistics suggest that the chances at a Bristol based on the road amusement park are incredibly high. Rusty bolts, workers that only care about the money and not about the safety of the consumer and unoiled rides. JJ's worst nightmare. _

"_Yeah, come on, J. It'll be fun. You'll see. We'll look after you." Freddie pats JJ on the shoulder reassuringly and JJ slowly nods._

"_Okay, but only if we stick to the teacups, okay? There is still a 0.3% chance of death, but I'll take that over a rollercoaster's 1.2% any day." Nods to himself and Cook jumps up and hollers._

"_Yes, JJ! Come on, let's go have a laugh!" Cook leads the way. Out of the shed, Freddie following right after and then finally JJ follows last. Takes them a bus trip to get to the amusement park. JJ shakes a little as they come towards it. Cook pats him on the shoulder and ruffles his hair. "It's alright, JJ. We'll have a fucking good time, you'll see." Drags JJ towards the entrance. Freddie follows after the pair and within twenty minutes they're inside the park. Rollercoaster's, that's the first thing JJ here's. Makes him tense up. Freddie's hand squeezing his shoulder reassures him though and he carries on walking. Following Cook through the stands; Duck Hunt, Basket that ball, Ready Aim Fire and others. JJ doesn't really want to try them. They're a fix. He knows it and he knows that people play it for fun anyway, helps to add enjoyment to the evening. JJ doesn't see the enjoyment of playing something that you can't win at, maybe once in a while, but once in a while is good for the one person who gets it but not for the countless others beforehand. Walks straight past them and Cook leads them to food straight away. Hot dogs is what they have. Cook attacks his and Freddie does the same, JJ eats slowly. "So, what you wanna do first then, lads? The coaster? The drop? The blizzard? What's the what?"_

_Freddie finishes his hot dog, scrunches up the tissue and throws it to the ground. Typical teenage. Coughs. "What about the cups? For JJ?" Cook stares for a moment and then nods with a massive grin. _

"_Come on, then, J! Ready for that adrenaline rush?" pats JJ on the shoulder as he heads for the cups. JJ and Freddie smile at each other before jogging after him. Five minutes later. "What the fuck do you mean we can't go on?"_

"_You're too big, sir." The worker points at the sign to it and Cook raises an eyebrow._

"_It's not like I weigh like 60 stones, mate. I ain't gonna break it. We ain't gonna break it. Come on, mate, let us on." Cook pleads. JJ's looking down at the floor sadly. Freddie's got his hand on his shoulder._

"_No, sir, you and your friends are too big. I don't care how much you weigh, you are too tall for this ride and that means you can't go on it." He replies and lets another little kid on._

"_Oi," The guy looks back at Cook. "Our friend here has a fear of the other rides and this is the only one he is comfortable going on. Don't be a dick, yeah? Let us on so he can have a good time." _

"_Sir, if you do not leave now I will have you escorted from the premises." Cook's jaw clenches. Uh oh. Freddie's grabbing Cook's shoulder._

"_It's not worth it, Cook. Don't." He says. Cook grinds his jaw. Shrugs Freddie's hand off his shoulder and gives the worker the finger. Mutters 'fucking dickhead' and heads off towards the toilets. Leans against the door and then slams his fist into it. Grunts and fucking punches it again. "Calm down, mate. We'll find something else to do, right, J?" JJ nods along with Freddie._

"_Yeah, fuck it. Yeah, if that cunt wants to be a bastard and not let us do something that is fucking sound then he can do one, can't he?" they nod. "Alright, lads, Cotton candy?" _

"_Cook, we just ate, mate." Freddie replies._

"_The Cook Monster is always hungry, Fredders. You should know that by now." He rushes off and JJ and Freddie just laugh and follow him. Typical Cook. They find other stuff to do. To make it fun. They play the games they can't win and waste silly amounts of money on it. Cook and Freddie manage to win a stuffed toy on the duck hunt. JJ doesn't know how because the chances were against them. Cook just smirks and dances around with the small toy in his hand. "Panda! Panda! Panda!" He hollers and holds up the toy panda. Freddie and JJ just laugh. It's nice. They manage to get their way onto the ghost train without any trouble and JJ jumps all the way though. Cook jeers and Freddie laughs all the way round. It's nice. By the time they leave the amusement park later in the afternoon they've managed to waste about seventy quid between them and they don't care. They have a picture of them dressed up as the three musketeers, holding swords at the screen and smiling. Good memory. _

_On the way out someone barges full on into JJ and knocks him off his feet. "Oh, watch where you're going, twat!" Cook calls after the retreating figure. Freddie helps JJ to his feet and wipes him off. JJ's shaking. _

"_You okay, J?" Freddie's voice is full of concern. JJ's shaking a bit and Freddie wraps him into a quick hug. "Strong man, JJ." And JJ laughs._

"_What the fuck did you say, kid?" A voice jeers from behind them. Cook turns around. _

"_What!?" Cook spits._

"_I said," Pushes Cook. "What the fuck did you say, kid?" _

_Cook pushes back. "I said 'watch where you're going, twat!' you knocked my mate off his feet for no reason. He ain't done fuck all to you."_

"_I don't give a shit if I knocked your mate over, and neither do my mates here." Points to a couple of guys that have come up behind him. They cross their arms and glare at the boys. JJ gulps. "So, why don't you kiddies apologise and we'll let you fuck off."_

"_How about you go fuck yourself. I ain't apologising for shit! You're the one that pushed my mate over, cunt. Get to fuck!" Cook gets punched. Cook always gets punched, but people always forget to mention one thing....get always gives as good as he gets. His fist collides with the man's face and takes the guy clear off his feet. The two men move on in, but Freddie's there. Takes one, and by the time that the other one is making to grab Freddie, Cook is already jumping on his back and dragging him to the ground. JJ starts shaking and slips to floor as his two friends fight around him. Cook kicks the man one last time in the face and then gives him the finger. "Think before you fuck with the Cookie Monster next time!" He calls as Freddie pulls JJ to his feet and they're running away. They go back to the shed. "That was fucking awesome! Nice punch, Freds! The blood fucking flew across the field! Fucking quality!" _

_Freddie just rolls his eyes. "Yeah, real quality, Cook. Can't ever leave it, can you?"_

_Cook becomes serious. "Oh, come off it Freds! I was only sticking up for our main man, JJ! You did the same!" _

"_Yeah, I would have stuck up with him but not started on a bunch of guys! That was stupid, Cook. You'd have been fucked if I wasn't there."_

"_Pfft! The fuck I would, Freddie! The Cookie Monster don't need help from anyone you know that!" _

"_Yeah whatever, Cook." JJ hates it when they get like this. They love each other to pieces but sometimes they butt heads and he fucking hates it. Makes him want to slap them around the back of the head and show them how they're acting! It's always a fucking contest with these two! He's angry. Gets angry when they get like this. He has enough after a while._

"_Will you two just stop! Just fucking stop, okay!?" He doesn't shout it, but he doesn't speak it. The two snap apart, they know when they have to stop. For JJ's sake._

_They don't look at each other, just at the floor and then mumble out apologises. "Sorry, J.", "Yeah, sorry, Mate. We didn't mean it."_

"_It's f-fine, just don't do it again...please?" They nod and he smiles shakily. "Right, so what do we do now then?" JJ was going to regret that._

"_Dunno, bit boring sitting in here on a Saturday night, ain't it? I reckon I could hook us up with something." Cook offers, fag sparked up already. He never really stops. He's looking around the shed now. Lifting up papers and flicking randomly with the football table handles, just to keep himself busy. He should be on tablets, not JJ. Needs to calm down sometimes, well, that's Freddie's opinion anyway, but they are best friend's and they always will be. _

"_Sounds a bit dodgy."_

"_Nah, leave it up to the Cookie Monster. He always delivers." And then Cook's gone. Out of the door and heading down the path. Freddie sighs and leans back against the door. _

"_One day I'm not gonna be there to protect him, JJ, and he's going to get seriously fucked over or end up dead."_

"_I know." JJ replies sadly._

"_He has to stop, JJ."_

"_I know..."_

_*_

Clawing at Emily's skin. She can't help it. She needs to be inside. Lips finding each other roughly, so full of want. She can't take it. She just fucking can't. She needs this. It's comfort. It's got to be. She's missing Cook and Emily's here and it's just....fuck! Hands on her cheeks, one moving to curl into her hair. A groan. It's not Emily. God. She's straddling the redhead, pining her down and kissing her like its everything to her in the world. It is. Emily rolls her over, shows Naomi that she has a dominate side. Naomi's panicking. No drugs or booze to blame this on. It's comfort. It's comfort she's looking for. It is. It's comfort when she reaches her hand around Emily's waist and pulls her top up over the redhead's face. Her hands shoot up in the air as Emily pulls the blondes top off. Her lips find Emily's neck, making the redhead arch into her kisses. Suckles on the skin. Fuck, every part of her tastes like strawberries. Intoxicating. Emily's pushing her down flat, kissing her belly. Naomi bites her lips. Fuck it's just...everything. Fucking sensational. When Emily's hands move to her jeans and remove them she doesn't stop her. Doesn't stop her when Emily takes off her own and straddles the blonde again. Their lips meeting in a heated kiss. "Fuck, I want you." Is breathed. It's not Emily. Naomi's surprised. Emily's eye flash and then it's frantic and passionate. Emily's pinning her down, kissing her so hard that there will be bruises tomorrow. She claws at Emily's back, raking her nails down gently and Emily groans, fucking groans and it undoes Naomi. Her hips thrust forward when she feels Emily's hand slide into her knickers. Groans and kisses the redhead. Let's her do her thing. Let's her make her come....and fucking loves it.

*

"So, what the fuck happened next?" Katie's sitting on the edge of the bench now. "Where did Cook go?"

"To get a car..." JJ continues.

_*_

_Freddie and JJ heard the car rev up from two blocks away. Knew it was Cook. Could hear the slam of the breaks and the hiss of the tyres as they came to a stop outside Freddie's house, skidding. The gate banged open and Cook came bouncing towards the door, slamming it open. "Come on, then, boys. I'm your chauffer for the evening!" he winks and runs back out to the car. JJ and Freddie hesitantly follow. "Get in then, Lads. Borrowed this off a, mate, Kev's his name. He owed me one for when we did this boy over down on Griff street. Pay back for a cheating ex or some shit. A friend in need, you know?" They nodded and got in. Cook cranked up the volume on the radio and Motorhead blast into the car. "YES! HAHA! Fucking quality! Let's go fucking mental, lads!" he speeds off._

_They drive for a long time. Couple of hours, one car speeds past them the whole time and Cook shouts out the window at them and then bursts into laughter. They smoke weed, well, Cook and Freddie do and JJ doesn't. He doesn't do drugs. They laugh, they have a good time. It's nice. JJ likes it when the three of them get on. Freddie and Cook are laughing in the front about something that Cook just said and JJ's smiling happily out the window. Happiness only lasts so long. A figure jumps out into the middle of the road and Cook swerves. "Shit!" he cries. "Fuck! FUCK! FUCK!" They pull over in the side of the road. "What the fuck was that?" Cook rolls down the window and looking backwards._

"_Don't know. A dear or something, what you reckon, J?" Freddie asks. JJ just nods slowly. Shaken up a little. They all are._

_A gun presses it's way into the open window and into Cook's face. "Hello, kiddies. Remember me?" The man's face shows in the moonlight. The man that knocked JJ over at the amusement park. _

"_You." Cook states._

"_Yeah, me. Should've kept your mouth shut, Kiddiewinks, because one day someone might just shut you up for good, and that person is gonna be me. Get out of the car." He opens the door for Cook. "NOW!" He roars and Cook steps outside. The doors from the other side open as well and the two blokes from earlier pull Freddie and JJ out. _

"_How'd you find us?" Cook asks. He seems calm. It's put on. JJ and Freddie know that. There's a gun in his face for fuck sake. JJ's shaking and Freddie wants to reassure him with a hug or something but they're being held apart on either side of the road and Cook is in the middle, with the man with the blonde hair._

"_Do you know who I am, kid?"_

"_My name's Cook." Cheeky fucker. He gets slapped with the gun for that. He spits blood onto the floor and looks back up at the man, fearless. _

"_I'm fucking Johnny White, kid." Cook's face changes. Shit. Johnny White? The Johnny White? The one that killed two nuns over a bottle of wine? Fuck. Freddie's face is stricken with worry for Cook now. JJ's shaking even harder, muttering to himself. "Oi, shut that, kid up."_

"_He's got a condition!" Freddie replies, pulling at his restrainers. Johnny White nods to the man restraining JJ and he brings a hand down on the back of his head, knocking JJ out. _

"_Problem solved. No condition." Johnny smirks at Freddie and points the gun back at Cook._

"_JJ!" Freddie pulls free from the man that is holding him._

"_We followed you up here, kid. Followed you from the fair. No one speaks to Johnny White and gets away with it...I own this city. Some little smug kid isn't gonna say whatever the fuck he wants to a man like me and expect me to forget about it? I knew people at that fair. Word gets around. Fuck if you're not gonna die for that...Cookie." Cook spits in his face. Johnny slaps him with the gun again and then turns as he watches Freddie throw himself towards one of his men. Aims the gun, moves to pull the trigger and Cook smacks him on the back of the head with a thick tree trunk. It all happens in slow motion after that, Freddie's pulled down by the other guy. Then Cook tackles that guy and starts laying into him. Freddie's moved over to JJ and flooring the guy that's kicking him. The men put up a fight but Cook is fighting on pure rage. His fist hammers down into the guy's face until finally the guy is out. Freddie's having trouble. Kicked in the nuts and face down on the ground getting punched in the back. Grunting from pain. JJ's shifting, waking up. Cook moves and roars. Throws himself at the other guy and kicks him in the head, pulls him up to his feet and nuts him. Punches him in the gut. "That all you got!? Huh!? That all you fucking got!? Pussies! You're all fucking pussies! No one messes with..." _

_A click of a gun. "COOKIE!!!" Is roared out. Johnny White is on his feet again and aiming his gun at Cook. "That wasn't very nice. Gonna have to kill you for that." Aims in gun with both hands._

"_COOK, NO!" Cook's pushed to ground. The rumble scraping his shoulder. He hisses and then the shot is fired. A body falls hard to the floor. Cook's eyes roam. He feels his chest frantically, he's fine. He's fucking okay! Ha! "HAHAHAHA! I'm okay! I'm fucking okay! Cookie is fucking untouchable!" Johnny White's holding the smoking gun, JJ's charging at him in a rage. Tackles him and starts to pummel him with fists. That's when Cook sees it. Freddie. "No..." Grabs at his chest. It's constricting. So fucking constricting. Freddie's blank eyes. No. NO. NO. JUST NO. It feels like it takes an eternity to crawl over to him. Cook grabs at his arms and pulls Freddie up into his lap. "Freds, Come on, Freds." Shakes Freddie's body. His eyes start to well. He looks up at the sky and sniffs. "Come on, Freds! Stop fucking playing, okay? It's not fucking funny! Freddie! Come on! Freddie fucking come on, man! I fucking need you mate. Me, you and J! Always been that way! Freds! I can't be without you." He's shaking the body frantically now. Buries his head into the chest and lets out a roar. "I fucking love you, mate." _

"_Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Freddie's dead. He can't be, but he is. Freddie's dead. All our fault. We did this. Dead. Dead. Dead." JJ's slumped against the side of the car. Crying and mumbling. His hands are pulling hard against his hair and he's rocking. _

"_He can't be." But he is. Cook lets out a angry cry. Runs. Feet pounding against the ground. Pulls Johnny White up. "You fucking bastard! I'll fucking kill you!" His fists hit the face over and over and over until he can't hit anymore because his knuckles are numb. He's so fucking numb. He's crying. Freddie's dead. His best friend. His fault. Grabs the tree branch and walks over to the car, brings it down onto the windscreen while crying out. From the distance all that can be heard is a cry, glass smashing and JJ's quiet sobs._

_*_

"Shit." Katie breathes. It's so fucking much. It's all too much. Her head is spinning and she doesn't know to feel about what. "Where is he?"

"Cook? I don't know. I don't care either." JJ mutters angrily. "He wrecked it all, Katie. We were happy. We were friends and because of him someone died. Died, Katie. He's just a parasite. You should stay away."

Katie stays silent for a bit with JJ. "I meant...Freddie."

"Oh." JJ wasn't expecting that. Wasn't expecting Katie to ask where he was buried. His hands are shaking. He doesn't like to think about it. "He's buried in our local church. Chances are you go there every day and didn't think once to check. His last name is Mclair." He sighs and pushes himself up off the bench.

"Thank you, JJ." She really means it. Needs to find Cook. Needs to do things. Doesn't know why she does she just has to do them. She feels sick. Like she's losing herself in this secret and now she knows the truth she can't get out. It's horrid. It's sordid and she wishes she hadn't asked, too late to go back now.

"Don't thank me. You forced it out of me. I don't like to talk about it, I never have. You're as bad as Cook. You deserve each other." He walks off and leaves her stunned. Fuck him then, cunt. What does a freak like him know anyway? Dick.

*

Panda. He still has the things after all these years. He was going to put it by the grave at Freddie's funeral, wasn't allowed to go though. JJ's doing that was. Fucking twat. It wasn't his fault. He didn't pull the trigger. He didn't load the gun. It wasn't....it wasn't....fuck. Stands on the pier and looks out over the sea. Fuck it. Fuck that life, Fuck everything! Throws the panda into the sea, watches as the stuffed toy drifts down. Grunts and puts his hand in his hair. He can't do it. Urgh! As much as he'd like to try he can't fucking do it! Groans, grabs at his hair and then runs and jumps over the rail into the sea, after the panda. He can't let go of Freddie. He never could. They were best friends. He's been lost, always lost since the day it happened. He doesn't cry anymore, used to, but he's Cook and he doesn't do that. Still fucking wants to drink himself to death though sometimes. Right now, he doesn't want to swim back to the surface. Wants to drown.

*

**A/N: I'm so sorry I didn't update yesterday but you have to blame Adam Sandler! I had to do a 30 slide presentation on him for film and it took ages...so blame him. This is part one of two parts again which should be up tomorrow evening :D Hope you liked it. I know there isn't a lot of Naomily but there is lots more in the second part. Review? Please? Love ya! You guys rule! :D and that's Freddie's death. Im not good at writing death so sorry :{**


	11. Part Two: Reactions

**Disclaimer: I don't own Skins! I wish I did though!**

**A/N: This story was written for my friend Skye (tommykayketchup or Skuzzeh on LJ) for a birthday present so please all say happy birthday to Skye on the 23****rd ****January because she is lovely! :D**

**Chapter Eleven:**

_Freddie Mclair. _Her hand runs over the name multiple times, hesitant at first, but then she finds herself tracing the letters. Crouches by the side of the stone so that she doesn't step on his grave, she may be a bitch sometimes but she isn't disrespectful. Cook. Where the fuck is he? Pissed off, dickhead. She never took Cook for a coward. Well, she never really took Cook to be "okay", well, he is sometimes. She doesn't like him. Doesn't. Chews her lip and runs her finger over the name one more time. "He's sorry, you know?" Doesn't say it to anyone in particular. To herself probably, because she's still having a hard to wrap her head around what JJ told her. It's been like twenty minutes since the Freak fucked off and she found her way here soon enough. It's cold now though, it's like the world knows she's discovered some big secret, something that you're not supposed to know. Feels like the world is going to fucking swallow her whole and she hates it. Drops her hand down and just stares now, doesn't really know what she's doing her. Just _had _to come. Eyes find flowers. There are lots, all the same kind, aging differently. She fingers some and plays with the leaves. Who's leaving flowers? JJ? Cook? Chews her lip again. She should really stay out of this now. She's found out something big. Really fucking big. It scares the fuck out of her to be honest and that is worrying because Katie Fitch doesn't fucking get scared. She's fearless. Fierce. She's a bitch and she fucking knows it; loves it. Mind tells her to back away but her body is keeping her there, crouched by the side of the grave. Doesn't do anything, drops to her knees eventually. She'll come back tomorrow night. Sit there again. She knows she'll do that before she's really doing it. She's drawn here. Hope, maybe? She _does _miss Cook. She has to fucking accept that whether she likes that or not. What she doesn't know is why and it's fucking killing her. Doesn't cry. Katie Fitch doesn't cry.

*

"I look to the sea, reflections in the waves spark my memory...some happy...some sad..." Cook mutters to himself. Presses the vodka bottle to his lips and swigs. Burns. Home. The burn feels like home. He holds it up in the air and salutes to the sun; it's rising right now. He's still a little damp. Been out of the water for a couple of hours now, but it isn't the hottest of days and the suns only just come out. Booze warmed him up. Booze always warms him up. Makes him feel alive. Leans back against the sand, it claws at his back but he doesn't give a fuck. Presses down harder and throws his empty hand out, grabbing at the sand. Holds it up in front of the sun's rays, blocking them from his eyes and smirks as he slowly opens his hand and the sand slowly drops to the floor. Does it again. It's the same thing, over and over again. Cook understands that. That's all he fucking doesn't, ain't it? Drink, drugs, fuck and pain. It's sums up his life in full. He's not happy with it, not fucking sad with it, either. It just is what it is. He can't change that because that's all he's ever known. Role models like Keith and his dad were always bound to fuck him up, turn him into them. He did fucking become that though, didn't he? His Dad was the worst. Made him think it wasn't okay to be there, in general. His dad fucked off all the time and now he's doing the same thing. Dick. Groans. He shouldn't think too much, bad for him, is what it is. Downs the rest of the vodka, about a quarter of the bottle left. It burns, it fucking burns. It's Glen's; strong shit, packs a mighty punch and knocks some middleweight drinks out after five. Throws the bottle under the bottom of the pier, hears it shatter, but just carries on lying there with his hands behind his head and staring up towards the sky. He's been kicked out of his new flat here already. He's got nowhere to go now. Fucked, is what he is. He's always fucked. Fucks things up, moves on and then fucks things up again. Rinse and repeat. He'll stay here for a bit now, though. The beach isn't too bad and if some pigs come then he'll just do a runner and another place along the coast. It is a fucking coast after all. He's got nothing now. Oh, fuck it. Who is he kidding? He's always had nothing.

*

Naomi stirs. And that's when it all starts to get even worse than it already was before. She has a fucking tendency to break down bridges just after she's built them. Moves her hand to hair, looks like Russell Brand when she wakes up. Cook always says so. Asshole. Shakes her head and pushes the duvet off her, stands up and stretches. She's naked; this isn't a surprise to her. She sleeps naked every night. She stretches out and groans. Doesn't spot the redhead who has a sheet wrapped around her shoulders sitting on her window sill, staring out it. Unreadable expression. Naomi grabs her head and groans. Fuck, she's got a headache. Not from booze or drugs though. Just a headache, been a long time since she had one of those. Well, that obviously wasn't from booze or drugs. Remembers last night. Fuck. "Shit..." She mutters to herself. Slips down onto the edge of the bed and puts her head into her hands. Emily's hand, all over her. Claiming her. Fucking her. She bites her lips, shit. Fucking shit, bollocks twat fucking hell shit! What did she do? Why did she do it? She's not gay....she's...not. She tries to tell herself that she really does. Emily's smell around the room is enough to make her mind turn to jelly. "Fuck." She hisses loudly and sighs.

"It's snowing..." It's cold. Harsh. Naomi's head snaps towards the voice. The husky voice that is bitter, so very fucking bitter. Naomi wants to sigh, it's an instant reaction but she doesn't; holds it in. Tries to keep a neutral face because she can see tears in Emily's eyes forming already. Wants to hug her. Can't, won't let herself. Pulls the duvet up around her as Emily's eyes scan over her quickly, feels like she's being watched. Scanned. Surveyed. Feels vulnerable for once and she already fucking hates it.

"It is?" She responds. Pulls the duvet tighter around her, moves over next to the redhead. It is snowing. Really heavy. She can't see the ground and everything looks like it's come to a standstill. It's peaceful. She leans on the sill next to Emily. What to say? Naomi reaches forward and plays with the edge of the curtain, stares at it. Coward. It flashes in her mind as soon as she starts to twiddle. She's figuring new things out about herself every single fucking day since she meet Emily Fitch some she likes and some she most definitely doesn't. She doesn't have to think of anything to say because Emily does it for her. Emily sniffs, hard and wipes at one of her eyes. "It's okay, you know?"

"It is...? What is?" Naomi stutters, still not looking up.

"This. Us. Whatever the fuck it is."

"Us?" Naomi breathes. Clenches her eyes tight. She can't think about that. Bites her lip and presses down hard on the wood below her.

"Yes, _us_, Naomi. In case you haven't noticed you did fuck me last night in that bed." Emily points to it with the flick of her hand. She's pissed. She has a right to be, though. Naomi knows it and so does Emily. She made a mistake....it's her fault that Emily's mad. That Emily's upset. "But, you know what? If you want to go back to acting like there is nothing going on. Acting like that you don't have feelings for me and I don't have feelings for you? And that lesbians don't fucking exist. Tell me now and don't try and be my fucking friend, okay?" She snaps. Naomi recoils.

"Why...not?" She's struggling to speak. Doesn't want to upset Emily but she's fighting with herself. Battling to make sense of this fucked up situation. She's not...fucking sure what she is! And that scares the fuck out of her.

"Cause I can't stand it anymore, Naomi! I can't fucking stand being friends with you, tickle fights, sleepovers and hugs? It's nice, but I fucking like you, okay? I like you! I said it. I'm gay, Naomi, and I want you, okay? I want to cuddle up with you to watch a film, I want to kiss you whenever I want, I want to fuck you whenever I want!" Emily's standing now. She's angry. On the other side of the room and grabbing her stuff together. "I don't want to be the girl you call on when your best friend does a runner for a quick shag? I have feelings, too."

"Emily...I'm not....gay. I'm just....fuck sake! I don't know who I am anymore, okay? Cook's gone, there's..._this _and it feels like my whole life is changing and I'm not sure whether or not I want it to, okay? I can't force myself to make up my mind."

"Then you shouldn't fucking fuck me until you know for sure."

"I didn't lead you on...." Bitch. That was out of line. She doesn't know what she's saying. It's just coming out of her mouth like word vomit. All she wants to do is cover up her mouth and sit on her bed in silence. She doesn't want to upset Emily, she really doesn't. Doesn't want any of this to be happen, but at the same time she does. It's going back and forth in her head and she can't fucking stand that she can't come to a decision! Why can't she decide on anything? On Emily? Or orientation? Or Cook? Or friendship? Or lifestyle? Why is she such an indecisive little cow? God, she hates herself sometimes, but no matter how many times she points out the flaws to herself in her mind she still does the wrong thing. That's who she is and it's a pain in the arse. Emily looks Gobsmacked. She's almost glaring at Naomi. She's going to lose her now. She doesn't...want to.

"No," Emily looks down at the floor. "You didn't, but you were who said 'you wanted me'. What does that mean, Naomi?"

"I...don't fucking know, okay? Fuck. It's all fucked up." She's got tears in her eyes now. Standing on opposite sides of the room now. "I just...can't explain it."

"Try?" Emily's tone is softer now. She's calming down. Wants to talk about this. She doesn't want to avoid and avoiding is what Naomi does best.

"I just...I feel like I'm losing myself," She drops down onto the edge of the bed, tears trekking down her face now. She already looked a mess, well, she doesn't usually care about her looks anyway. Emily slumps next to her. Close. "I thought I knew who I was. I thought I knew everything I wanted. Political career, ford fiesta, four A levels and my best friends. I was happy with that until....until I met you," She turns to face Emily. "You fucked everything up, you know? I'm not usually a soppy git. I'm Naomi Campbell. I scowl, I don't have friends and I don't care about people, but you make me everything I'm not and you make me everything I want to be. I can't tell wrong from right when I'm around you. I feel like I'm drowning."

"Naomi..." Emily grabs the blonde's cheeks and holds her at her eye level. "It's okay to be scared. It is."

"I-It is?" Naomi sniffs. Emily places a light kiss on her cheek. "Does this feel wrong?" Emily leans forward and pushes her lips against the blonde's. Naomi's instant reaction is to push back, so she does just that. She can't fight it, even if she wanted to, she can't. It's just too much. She needs Emily. God, she needs her. Her lips attack Emily's, tears running down her pale cheeks as she groans into the redhead's mouth. She can't stop herself. She can't actually stop herself. "Does it?"

"No." She groans in-between kisses. It doesn't. Emily's straddling her now, sitting on her lap, hands in her hair and her arms round the redhead's waist. "Fuck, Emily." Fuck it. Fuck it. Fuck it. Fuck it! They're snowed in, all alone and together. She doesn't care about anything. She never does whenever Emily kisses her. When Emily pushes her down on the bed and pulls her duvet away from her body and plants kisses down her. When Emily fucks her right there on the edge of the bed. She still doesn't care when she's wrapped up in Emily's arm after it all. A coat of sweat on their skin, breathing heavily. "So, what do we do now?" Emily whispers in her ear.

"I don't know." And she still doesn't. It's all still fucked up, but right now, in Emily's arms and just not thinking about it seems like a pretty good idea to her. She just wants to be. She'll take a page out of Cook's book. Snuggles back and kisses Emily's hand lightly. "Can we just stay like this? Just for a bit?"

Emily nods and kisses Naomi's head. "Yeah, we can just for a bit." And that's probably the best thing that Naomi has ever had said to her. She falls asleep, happy, truly happy, for the first time in a while.

*

Once they finally drag their selves out of bed they head for the snow. Who wouldn't? "Snowman?" Emily asks with a smile and Naomi smiles back. They build one. It's nice. It looks nice. Carrot for a nose, hat and scarfs, and finally the facial features. "What shall we name our child of the snow?" Emily asks throwing her arm Naomi's shoulder.

"I quite like Dave." Naomi replies and Emily laughs. "What? What's so funny?"

"I don't know...it's just...Dave? Really? It's such a common name! Haven't you heard?"

"What?"

"Everyone knows a guy called Dave! Let's do something unique." Emily demands and Naomi caves.

"Fine, what do you want to call him?" Naomi asks, arms crossed and doing her best to look annoyed at the thought of the snowman not being called Dave.

"Why can't it be a girl?" Emily puffs.

"Because it's called a snow_man_ for a reason, dear. If it was a snowwoman then we could call it a girl's name."

"Well, clearly it is a woman! It has no penis down there!" Points to the blank space towards the bottom of snowman. "So, ha! It must be a snowwoman and hence forth she shall be named Juanita!"

"One, Juanita? Bit exotic for a snowwoman, don't you think? And two," Naomi pulls the carrot out from the snowman's face and pushes it into the empty space that Emily had pointed out earlier. "Now, he's Dave!"

"No, Juanita! And it's sexy! Not exotic!" She pulls the carrot out and puts it back into where it originally came from.

"Dave!" The game of tug and war begins.

"Juanita!"

"Dave!"

"Juanita!"

"Dave!"

"Juanita!"

"Dave...Oh, you little bitch!" Naomi cries when a snowball collides with the side of her face and Emily's running off like a little girl. "I'm going to get you, Fitch!"

"Bring it, Campbell!" A snowball fight pursues. They get a few good hits on each other and they're laughing the whole time. Naomi dives into Emily at one point to stop an oncoming double whammy of snowballs and pins the redhead to the ground.

"Ha, looks like I win!" Emily struggles to get free. She can't. Naomi's smiling down at the redhead. "Admit, defeat!"

"Fine! You win, happy?" Emily's giving her the puppy dog eyes and Naomi nearly caves. Manipulative bitch.

"Not quite at happy yet." Leans in and presses her lips against Emily's. Kisses her there in the middle of the snow until neither of them can breathe. Pulling back she smiles down at the redhead.

"Naomi! Not in front of Juanita!" Emily pushes at her chest lightly with a laugh. Naomi rolls her eyes and presses down harder against the redhead.

"Dave! How many times do I have to bloody tell you that _his _name is--" She's muffled by a kiss. Pulled down to the redhead's level and claimed. Groans and pants heavily between kisses. "Fine, you win! Juanita it is!"

"Good, Naomi. You can have a treat later!"

"Fuck you!"

"Maybe later!"

"Urgh!"

"You've met your match, Campbell!" And the bad thing is that she really has, and she's not to bothered by that at all. Kisses the redhead again and just has fun for the rest of the afternoon, just because she can. She can forget.

*

The snow lasts for a couple days more and Emily's there for most of them. Pops home once to show her parents and bitch of a sister that she is actually still alive and then comes straight back to Naomi's. It's nice, just being. Her mum doesn't care, is happy for her. She gives her the look sometimes that she knows something more is going on but doesn't say anything. They watch films, eat shit loads of food and have sex. Lots of the last. Naomi doesn't have to think about any consequences or what happens next because the snow keeps her safe. Keeps her out of college, out of life, and confined to her house. She's happy to be here. With Emily. They are happy, just for a while. They don't have to be gay or straight or bi or bi-curious or metrosexual or any of that stuff, here they could just be Emily and Naomi. And that is all that both of them wanted.

The snow has to end sometime though.

*

And when it did...nothing changed. They didn't see each other in college but Emily would be round her house most days after college. Sometimes they did study and sometimes they had sex and sometimes they just hung out. Naomi was used to it. She's decided it's best not to think it over. Emily and her were happy, not together, she doesn't want it to get complicated because she's still coming to terms with it herself. Emily's keeping quiet for the time being but they both know that sooner or later Emily's going to need a label and Naomi will have to think about....she doesn't want to think about that now though. She's made it pretty clear that she needs to stop thinking because thinking is bad. They're going to a party tonight, not together but they'll meet there. It's kind of like a silent agreement.

When she arrives she spots Emily straight away, near the drinks table. Heads over and lightly brushes her arms with the redhead. "Hey." Smiles widely.

"Hey." Emily smiles back. Katie's not here. In fact, Naomi hasn't heard or seen Katie in quite a while, She wouldn't say she was worried about the girl....just curious. It's been three months now since Cook has fucked off and no word. None at all. She's over it. He's lost his friend now. Fuck himself, she's got Emily now and that makes her smile. She ends up in a closet with the redhead pressed up against her hard the wall. Lips meeting, tongues duelling, she loves to fucking drown. They are disturbed though and what disturbs her throws her whole world back into a never ending cycle of confusion. Cook. Cunt. He's back.

"Wooo! Let's get hammered, Lads and ladettes! We're on the lower east side so you chavettes don't quite earn the title of lady yet, but whatever. Cookies goes where the water flows and it flows from straight between your legs, if you know what I mean?" Waggles his eyebrows at one. "The Cookie monsters always been an upstream swimmer."

"Oi, mate, back the fuck away from my, bird, blud!" Some chav calls from the other side of the room.

"What are you her boyfriend? Come on, man, we all know that she's been with every bloke in this room. Including me before. Cookie likes a repeat performance sometimes, especially when they come as hard as she did." Naomi grounds her jaw when she sees him get punched because, because of course he gets fucking punched. He hasn't changed. Three months and he's still the same old Cook and she doesn't need him anymore. Doesn't want him anymore. He holds his own. Fights off the chavs and then downs a bottle of beer, howling like a mad man. Head's in her direction.

"If it isn't little Red Dykeinhood and her side kick dominatrix, how are you both, dears? Missed me?" He moves to hug them both but Naomi moves out of the way and Emily gets wrapped up in the boys arms. "Oi, why'd you move?" he's pissed. Out of his head.

"Fuck off, Cook."

"What have I done?" he mumbles. Emily's stepped back from him now and taken Naomi's hand, squeezes it for support.

"Oh, I don't know? Fuck off for three months and not even tell me why? A text? Nice. Go fuck yourself Cook. I don't want to know you anymore. Stay away from me." It's harsh she knows. He's had his chance. He's on his own now. She's got Emily now.

"Oh, so I see how it is? You get a girlfriend and then you're no longer good enough for the Cookie monster? Well, fuck you, dyke!" He calls. She spins round and squares up to him, finger in his face.

"Grow up, James. You aren't the "Cookie monster". You aren't "Cookie". You aren't anyone. You're pathetic. You're a leech. A fucking leech that sucks the shit out of people and then leaves them there to rot. You're a fucking virus. You're going to die alone Cook because you don't know the meaning of friends. You might as well be dead. No one would care." He steps back. He recoils and gives her the finger. Fakes a laugh, Emily's leading Naomi away. He blinks hard, very hard. Naomikins. Fuck sake. Now he is really alone. Fucking shouldn't have come back here. It was stupid. His eyes start to water and he looks towards the ceiling and blinks them back. Grabs another beer and downs it. He's had enough.

*

Even in his drunken stupor he ends up getting there. Falls to his knees in front of the grave and places his hand on the ground. "I've never....I've never spoken to you, Freds. Do you know that? Not once...not bloody once since you fucking died," His lip quivers and his arms water. It's raining, hard. He doesn't care though. Feels like drowning. "I just...never had anything to say, you know? Just been." He pauses and just crouches there for a bit. "I should've..." Sniffs hard. "I should've listened to you, mate. Should've. I'm shit, Freddie, you know? I'm pure fucking shit! I'm worthless mate! No one wants me and no one bloody needs me. All I cause is pain and destruction! I tear down peoples lives because I can, because no one understands! How...how can I care about someone when I don't give a fuck about myself? I don't give two fucks if I live or die!" He's crying now. Sobbing hard with his hands down on the ground. "No one will miss, Cook.....It should've been me." He's breathes hard and claws at the ground. "It should've fucking been me! He didn't need to fucking die! I fucking killed him! Why did he save me? Why? I didn't deserve it! He should be here. People need him. JJ needs him. No needs me." He's so fucking drunk right now. "I'm sorry, Freds," presses his head against the ground. "I'm so fucking sorry. I miss you, mate. I need you. I've fucked up, mate. Fucked up and I don't know how to fix it. I need you. I need my best mate. I'm lost without you. Might as well fucking die...I'm so sorry." Arms wrap round him and he recoils at first, but then backs into them and sobs into her chest. "I'm worthless, fucking worthless. I'm a piece of shit that no one would miss. Might as well be dead."

"I need you."

*

**A/N: Okay, I've been away due to two people staying over mine and English coursework but now I am back and hoping will fall back into a routine! Hope you liked this! Review please :D **


	12. Nothing's ever perfect

**Disclaimer: I don't own Skins! I wish I did though!**

**A/N: This story was written for my friend Skye (tommykayketchup or Skuzzeh on LJ) for a birthday present so please all say happy birthday to Skye on the 23****rd ****January because she is lovely! :D **

**Chapter Twelve:**

It's the first time she's been in a bed without fucking him before hand. It's strange. The sheets are unruffled, she's wearing pyjamas and he's fully clothed. It doesn't feel right. Feel's awkward. She shuffles in her sleep and turns around to face the wall. She's only got a fucking single bed; Cook's too big for his own fucking good. She has to press close against him just so they can both fit. He's hammered. Wrecked. Smashed. Pissed. All of it. Out of his head; leaning over the side of the bed with his mouth hanging open just above a bucket. He's been sick a couple of times now, but he seems to have stopped. This makes her feel better because as much as she doesn't want to admit it and as much as he's fucking pissed her off right now, she does care about him. She doesn't know when it started or how, well, probably when they started fucking, well, that's what Katie thinks at least, but she does, she just fucking does and it fucks her off because she can't understand why. Presses her head against the wall and sighs. "Fuck." She mutters to herself. She's the fucking strong twin. She's the one who's got her head on her shoulders and her feet on the ground, and now look at her? Fucking lost without an arsehole that buggers off every time he feels like it just because the world's against him at the time? She's pathetic. It makes her sick. She's sickening. He's pathetic as well, he makes her sick. He's not worth it...but at the same time he is and she can't wrap her head around it. Emily's the smart one, Katie's the fit one. She can't figure this out on her own but there is no way she's ever fucking telling Emily because she...it's embarrassing. Katie Fitch needs James Cook? Pffft. She'd be a laughing stock...plus she's got Danny. She's just been a bit mental lately is all. She's not thinking straight because of the booze and the fucking and his pervy yet charming attitude and she's been fucking brainwashed, she's got Danny. She's got fucking Danny.

She shifts in the bed as he presses into her. Wraps his arms around her waist and pulls her to him. She struggles to get free for a bit, but then concedes and drops back against him. She can feel his breath on her shoulder and she shudders. Not because it makes her feel sick. Fuck sake, Katie, Sort it the fuck out, yeah? She feels the need to rub her head with her hand, doesn't though, doesn't dare move and disturb this. After a while her eyes start to become heavily, matched with the rhythmic breathing from Cook she slowly drifts to sleep.

"Fuck sake!" It's what wakes her up. She hears Cook grunt it as he stubs his toe on her dresser. Her head snaps round and glares at him. She was having a good fucking dream! He hasn't seen her yet, too busy hopping around, while holding his other foot. Ends up sitting down on Emily's bed and holding it tightly in his hand before he spots her. Drops his foot to the floor. "Morning." His voice is dry and bored and uncaring, Katie picks up on it.

"Morning." It's awkward. They don't say anything else, just sit on opposite sides of the room and look at anything but each other. Cook's the first one to break the silence. "Just your sister's wall to be plastered with fit birds, at least she has good taste. Well, apart from Victoria Beckham, bit skinny for my taste..."

"Let me guess, girl has to have a bit of meat on her?" Katie snips. Cook rolls his eyes and leans back on the bed. They glare at each other for a second before Cook starts to laugh lightly, then harder, and then he's clutching his sides and tears are forming in his yes. Katie just stares at him, but his laugh is contagious and before she knows it she's laughing along with him. Lightly, not as full on as him because there is still some part of him that thinks she's insane for even humouring right now. Cause that is what she's doing. "You're so fucking predictable, Cook."

"Yeah, and you're fit. Wanna shag?"

He's just so fucking, the same. She's not in touch with her emotions she knows, but at least she can talk to someone when she's feeling bitchy, or down, or grouchy, but he doesn't. He's always _fine,_ bu she's learnt 'fine' has a loose definition when it comes to Cook. She knows that she'll to him about it the wrong way. That she'll approach him wrong or set him off but that's just who she is. She's blunt and Cook is closed off and the only way to get through is to put the truth so far up his fucking arse that it is pressed so hard into his brain that he has to except. She may be a bitch, but he's fucking idiot. "Can't you...just....forget it." Stops herself. Hasn't done that in a long time. Hasn't had to.

"What?" His eyes are boring into her now. She can feel the stare from across the room.

"Can't you just be serious for once? Just act..."

"What, normal?" he snaps. Shoots up out of his seat and moves towards the door.

"The world's not out to get you, Cook." She calls.

"Oh, yeah?" Turns round and glares at her. "And what the fuck would you know, Katiekins? It's not the you've got problems. You _think_ you've got problems. Oh, no, my sister might be a lesbian and ruin my reputation in college? Get the fuck over yourself, babe! When you get some fucking perspective then you can lecture me on the world. I may be a fucking idiot, but at least I'm realistic, babe." Moves to turn the handle again but is stopped in his tracks by the words that come out of Katie's mouth next.

"I know what happened to Freddie." He doesn't react how she expects him to. Expects him to turn around and swagger towards her and tell her to 'Get to fuck!' but he doesn't. He doesn't do anything, just stares at the door and grips the handle tightly. She wants to know what he's thinking, wants to know what the fuck is going on in that fucked up head of his. When he turns around he's sniffing, eyes slightly wet and throws out his arms at her.

"Why do you care, luv? Why do fucking give a shit what happens?" It's got no swagger. No slur. It's just raw. His voice. So fucking raw that Katie thinks about never being a bitch again because of it. She doesn't have an answer.

"I...just do." She breathes it. Standing there playing with her thumbs.

"So, what now? I've got to be a good little Cookie otherwise you'll tell everyone that I'm a murdering bastard? Go fuck yourself, Katiekins! I may be a piece of shit, but that's low. Fucking low." He's still calling her Katiekins. Even when he's mad he still calls her that and it makes her smile. Doesn't actually smile though, that would be like the death sentence in this situation. He turns back to the door and flings it open this time.

"You didn't kill Freddie." She states. This time he does react how she expects. Pins her up against the wall behind her and grabs her by the scruff of her pyjama top.

"And what the fuck do you know? You weren't there, Katie."

"No, Cook, I wasn't," She snaps. He's like a fucking broken record. "But JJ told me what happened. You didn't kill Freddie. You were saved by him, there's a difference. Emily's the smart one of me and her, yeah? But you must see that he saved you because he loved you, right? Not because he was, like, he was looking after you." Cook steps back. Face softens a little. "Because he cared. I'm not the lovey dovey type, yeah? But even hearing the story about you, him and JJ were enough to show me he cared."

Cook sits down on the bed and puts his head in his hands, mutters something that sounds like 'shit' and then looks back at her, red eyes from rubbing. "JJ told ya? Fuck off, did he! He wouldn't tell a soul."

"Let's just say, I'm a bitch, when I want and need to be, yeah?" Sits down next to him; not too close and not too far.

"I know that, half the bloody college knows that, babe. A bit of bitch never hurt anyone though. I'm a cunt and I get along just fine. So do you." He explains. "No one understands." He exhales heavily and sighs. "I've just had enough, you know? Naomi fucking hates me, I shag everything that walks, any booze and I have to drink it, same for drugs expect I smoke it. I feel like I'm stuck on repeat or somethin' and I dunno how to get out of it, Katiekins."

"I understand...I get it, okay? It's like you can't stop yourself. Like you want it all so much that you just can't fucking stop and when it all comes back you just pretend like it's okay, yeah? But it never is. Never fucking is." She's got her hand on his leg last night.

"Yeah....how did you know I'd be there last night?" She didn't.

"I didn't." She replies. "JJ told me where he was buried and I'd been going there, to think things over, to figure out things. To see if I can figure out who I am and want I want."

"Any luck?" She shakes her head no and Cook nods. "Harder than people think, ain't it?" She nods again and they just sit there again. Her hand lightly gripping his upper leg. He reaches into his jacket and pulls out a pack of fags, offers her one and she takes it. Fuck her parents, they both need it so fucking bad right now and they'll have to understand. Sparks up with him. No drugs or booze, just a stress reliever. They lean back against the wall. "So, how's Danny, Katiekins? Treating you well, I hope."

Rolls her eyes and flicks some ashes onto her bed sheets. Doesn't care that they'll get wrecked, doesn't usually bring people back to her parents and if she does then it's Danny and all he wants is to fuck her and fuck off. Dickhead. "He's fucked off, probably cheating on me. They all do in the end anyway, men. Bastards. Who needs them?"

"Amen to that, babe, we're bastards. Get used to it." Winks at her. She smiles and takes another drag, flicks the ashes on the bed again. "Fuck him, then, babe. You're nice, you are. Clever than people give you credit for. Maybe you are the clever twin, who knows?"

"Fuck off." She almost snorts with how ridiculous that. He is a fucking idiot sometimes. A really fool. "You realise how stupid you sound, yeah?"

"Nah," He hops up on the bed. "Academic knowledge isn't everything, babe. You've got the real smarts, you know? The one that comes from true understanding or some bollocks, at least that's what my psych teacher told me once. I see it now. You get me and, babe, that means you're smarter than Stephen Bloody Hawkins to me!" She laughs at him as he waves his fag around in her face. He doesn't want to talk about what happened with Freddie. She understand that. She knows what it's like to avoid something and she'll let him for now, because he needs to, for now, but sooner or later he's going to have to talk about it. They just sit there for the rest of the afternoon, talking and joking. They watch a film and he lets Katie pick. "And, then, she just forgets everything and doesn't know who he is?" Cook questions while taking another drag on his fag.

"Yeah, she forgets it all."

"That's a fucking shame that is, Katiekins." He states bluntly.

She rolls her eyes. "Yeah, Cook, to sum it up. That's a fucking shame."

"What? What did I say?" He looks confused and she laughs. For most of the film their shoulders have been inches apart and Katie is being drawn towards him. Drawn towards laying her head on his shoulder and letting his arm wrap around her. Smoke with her while she watches the film with his warmth.

"Nothing." She smiles warmly and he ruffles her hair in return.

"Don't be a bitch, Katiekins. Doesn't suit you, oh, who am I kidding?" Winks at her and she gasps, playfully.

"You bastard! You'll pay for that one!" She doesn't know how she ends up on top of him with one of her hands pinning both his down. She knows she could break out of it at anytime and smiles because he doesn't. Lets her be in control. She takes the fag from his hand and holds it above his mouth. "You want this? Then take it back."

"Fine, Katiekins, you are no bitch. Now, fag please!" He demands and she concedes. He stares up at her as he drags on the fag. His eyes finding hers. Cook doesn't do this lovey dovey shit either, but right now all he can see is her and he doesn't give a shit. She pulls the fag back and stamps it out in the astray near the bed. Cook hasn't breathed out yet. She bites her lip. Leans forward lightly and presses her lips against his. It's slow and drawn out, he slowly breathes the smoke into her mouth and she breathes it in, carries on kissing him. Pushes on his chest lightly and sits back, blows out the smoke into the air. It's slow and deliberate she feels Cook's hand tighten on her waist. He's the first to move and she likes that. Likes when his lips crush against her passionately, when he rolls her over and pins her to the bed. It's slower than normal though. It's not frantic. It's not lust. He wants her and she wants him.

*

"Juanita melted." Grumbles into Naomi's chest. Naomi strokes the redhead's hair lightly and holds her close.

"Dave melted, sweetie." Naomi teases gently and she hears Emily grumbled something along the lines of 'if you say she was called Dave one more time I'll..." and smirks when the rest comes out. Foul mouthed little cow. "Didn't know you had those words in your vocabulary, Ems. Knew you were good with your tongue, but not in that context." If Emily was looking at her right now she'd be winking at the redhead. Emily slaps her hand and smothers a laugh. Naomi's got to the point now where she's okay with making gay jokes, not to herself, but about Emily. Emily takes it as a since of progress. Maybe it is. Like she's said before, she doesn't like to think into it too much. Likes how things are.

"Can I get you girls anything?" Gina doesn't knock. Naomi glares because she needs to learn to. It's rude. "Oh! Did I interrupt something?" No. Thank fuck for that. That would be the worst thing ever.

"Yes, Gina, Naomi and I were just making out. Sorry if we were making too much noise." Is what was muttered in her left ear. She stifles a laugh and goes red. This is one of the things she hates about Emily, making her blush.

"What was that, love?" Gina calls from the other side of the room and Emily smiles at her sweetly.

"I said, No thanks, Gina, we're both fine but thanks." Emily calls and Naomi just nods. Speechless right now.

"Okay, well, there is some veg in the fridge if you get hungry. I'm popping out to see Kieran now! Don't expect me back!" Sick. So fucking sick. Naomi cringes as the door closes behind her and Emily snuggles into her more.

"One day she's going to hear what you actually say, you know?" Naomi states.

"Nai, dear, she hears every time. She's just polite. And you shouldn't be so hard on your mum. I like her. She's nice." Emily presses a kiss to her neck and she sighs.

"That's because you two are up all the night talking with cups of tea. I know when I fall asleep you get bored, but really, my mum was your last resort?"

"She makes lovely conversation." Emily replies simply and places another kiss on the blonde's neck.

"Whatever you say. She's a bitch to me and that's not going to change." Naomi's stubborn and it makes Emily want to grind her teeth. Fine, she'll make her admit she was right.

"Say I'm right, Naomi."

"No."

"Do it."

"No."

"Do it."

"You do realise you sound like Ben Stiller from Starsky and Hutch, right now? Do it, Do it, Do it!" She attempts to imitate Ben Stiller. It's fucking hialirous but Emily uses all her willpower to stop herself from cracking and stares the blonde straight in the eye.

"Fine." Naomi gets that smug look on her face that she gets every time she wins an argument and Emily smirks in return. Her hands find Naomi's top and pulls it up. Naomi scowls. Fuck sake, Emily always blackmails her with sex. Lips find lips and the blonde is being pushed down into the bed. Emily's hands crawl at her skins, ripping away clothes and claiming her. After it's all done Emily's laying her head on Naomi's chest. Her head moving up and down to the rhythm of her heartbeat. "Say it."

Naomi groans and breathes hard. "You're right."

"Thank you, and what is the snowwoman's name?"

"Juanita."

"Good, Naomi." Emily smiles into the blonde's chest.

"Fuck you."

"Again!?" They burst into laughter. Naomi and Emily are both happy. So very fucking happy. They lay there like that, just for a bit. Emily bites her lip. Dare she? "Naomi, What are we?"

"What?" Naomi puffs out. Emily can feel the blonde's heartbeat. Fuck. Too late to take it back now. "What you on about, Ems?"

"Well, Are we....together?" Emily bites her lip, shifts up to look the blonde in the face.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuckity fuck fuck! She knew this would come. Knew soon enough that Emily would want more, need more. Want this to be a 'thing', want it to become real. She doesn't know. She really doesn't. She fucking l...what. No. She fucking likes having Emily around her. Likes how they can sit around for hours and do absolutely nothing and still do absolutely everything. Sighs and shifts back a little away from the redhead. "I don't think so...I mean, I don' know." Bites her lip when she sees Emily look down at the ground.

"When will you?" Emily breathes.

"I...I don't know." She sounds like a broken record. She knows she does. Repeats the same thing over and over again. She'd fucking hate her if she was Emily. Wishes she was Emily sometimes. Wishes she could be so level headed, know what she wants.

"That's just it, isn't it, Naomi?"

"What?"

"You'll never know." Emily snaps, shifts up from the bed and moves to find her clothes.

"Where are you going?" Naomi's panicking. Doesn't want her to go. Moves to grab Emily but the redhead pulls away.

"I'm going home, Naomi. Going home and not coming back until you decide that you want this, okay? Until that no matter how much you don't want to, you want me! Stop thinking and start feeling! Don't push me away!" Emily heads for the door and Naomi grabs her arm.

"Wait, Ems, come on, don't be like this!" She doesn't beg. Will for Emily. Always will. Grabs at the redhead's arm and tries to pull her to her, but the redhead won't have it. Pushes her away and fixes her with a teary glare.

"No! You don't be like this! I'm not something for you to fucking use, okay, Naomi? I have feelings, too, you know? You may be a heartless, uncaring cow, but the rest of the world, isn't, okay?" Tears pour down her face. Naomi feels as if her world is all falling apart gain. All she has to say is 'I want you'. She can't though, why can't she fucking say it! It all happens slowly. Watches as Emily storms out of the door and slams it behind her, watches her walk back up the path from her door and down the street, watches her until she uses site of the redhead. Cries herself to sleep that night. Cries herself to sleep every night that follows. Why can't she just fucking be brave?

*

"Why are you calling me?" Her voice is rough and raw.

"Naomikins, you okay, babe? You sound like shit." She rolls her eyes and sneers at the phone. Thanks, Cook. Cunt.

"I'm fine. I asked a question. Answer it." Hears him sigh on the other side of the phone and thinks 'serves you right'. He shouldn't have fucked off, should he? He's had a million chances. Fuck him and fuck Emily and fuck everything! She doesn't need anyone or anything. She's always been alone and doesn't need anyone.

"I'm calling to ask if I can come up."

"You have a key, don't you?" She spits.

"Yeah, but I haven't been here for a while, you might have change the locks or something, dear." He replies and she puffs out a sigh.

"Come on up." She sounds so unenthused. Hope's he picks up on it.

It takes him longer than she expects. Never took Cook for a coward but she hears him walking around at the bottom of the stairs for a while. Doesn't go down to see him. She won't be the one that caves. He's the one that fucked off, dick. He can't just come back. He can't. When the door to her room opens she holds a breath as he enters. Looks the same as he did three months ago. Same clothes, same walk, same talk. "Naomikins, look, love I'm sorry about the other night, okay? I was being a tit and I was way out of line and I'm sorry, okay?" He steps forward hopefully.

She scowls at him. "You've had three months to come say sorry to me."

"I know. I'm a coward and bastard. I'm sorry, Naomikins, I really am. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"You didn't." She spits.

"Okay." He nods and looks down at the floor. "How's Emily?" and as soon as it tumbles from his lips she breaks. The tears start again and she's falling towards the floor, Cook moves fast. Catches her and slowly brings her to the floor, tries to pull her to him. She fights him every step of the way. She still hates him. Still hates Emily for doing this to her. Hates everyone and every fucking thing. Feels like dying. She gives up fighting him eventually. Doesn't mean she's forgiven him though, she needs something, someone, anyone. Cries into his chest. "It'll be, alright, babe. It'll be fine, Cookie promises."

"I've fucked it up, Cook. Fucked it all up." She whimpers and grabs at his jumper. "I need you right now, okay? I've always needed you. Don't fuck off again. Don't you fucking leave me. Please, not you."

His heart breaks.

**A/N: Angst! Hope you enjoyed it! Let me know what you think with a review or a comment :D You guys rule! **


	13. Finally

**Disclaimer: I don't own Skins! I wish I did though!**

**A/N: This story is being written for my friend Skye (tommykayketchup or Skuzzeh on LJ) and today is her birthday so can you all wish her happy birthday if you can :D Thanks ever so much! She is truly lovely :)**

**Chapter Thirteen:**

He lays her down on the bed slowly. Pulls the covers up to her shoulders and then turns the lamp out on the desk next to the bed. Stares at her. She still looks unhappy in her sleep. Light tear tracks are donning her face, her forehead is scrunched up and her hair is a mess. He sighs and shoves his hands into his pockets. He didn't know she'd be this fucked up. Thought she'd be pissed, sure, but like this? Fuck. He should have never pissed off. That's all he does, though, init? Fucked things up proper this time. He takes the chair on the other side of the room and sits down on it. Throws his jacket over the top of him and leans back. Can't sleep. Shuffles about a bit, can't get fucking comfortable. Feels like growling in anger, but doesn't, can't risk waking up Blondie. She'd kick his arse and if it's going to happen then Cook wants to wait till he's had some sleep because he may never sleep again once she gets her hands on him. He sighs and looks up at the ceiling. Nothing special about it really, just normal pure white. Emily and Naomi? Took their sweet time, didn't they? What does he do? Doesn't know how to help Naomi. She doesn't even like him for starters, fucked her right off, he has, and he doesn't know how to fix that. And then she's obviously got some sort of problem with Emily that he can try and help with and then...there's Katie. Katie fucking Fitch. He smiles. What to do about her, eh? Shakes his head, he'll sort that out with her sometime. Next time he sees her hopefully...thinks back to this afternoon and chuckles to himself. Now, that was a good time. And then there's JJ. What the fuck does he even say to that kid? Shakes his head and sighs. Tries to sleep again but he can't, he just sits up most of the night, thinking things over, looking for a solution but eventually even though his mind doesn't want him to rest his body does and his heavy eyes finally close shut for the rest of the night. Darkness.

*

"Get up." She grunts and kicks at his foot. He mumbles something and she tries again. "I said get up, dick!" kicks harder and he shoots up in his seat. He squints at her, his eyes feel gammy and his breath rancid and horrible. Chops his lips and then rubs his eyes. "What's the time, Naomikins?" He leans back in his seat and sighs.

"Twelve." She replies and heads over to her dresser.

"You off out?" He asks, confused. He was sure that Naomi never did anything on Sunday's.

"Yeah, I've got some things to do. So...I'll see you around?" She offers. Strangely this feels like a one night stand to both of them, obviously not in the sexual context, but in the friendship contexts. Cook sighs, she doesn't want to be friends. She really doesn't want to be friends with him and that is possibly the worst thing that could ever, ever happen to him.

"But I thought..." He starts but she cuts him off. Spins round on her heels and marches over to him.

"You thought what, James? You thought that just because you let me cry and then put me in my bed and slept on the chair that I'd forget you ran off for 3 months without even telling me? Why you acted like a cunt to me the other night at the party?"

"Well, yeah...." He's honest. She'll give him that. Wants to slap him though. So hard. She's putting on a brave front right now but since he fucked off she's missed him so much she doesn't want that to happen again. Ever. He holds too much power over her, just like Emily does. She doesn't want to be weak. Has to be strong because that's who she is. That's Naomi Campbell. She won't forgive him. She fucking won't. No matter how much he stays around, no matter how much he apologises she _will not_ fucking forgive him. Dick. She hates him. She really fucking does.

"Pfft. Go fuck yourself, _James! _I'm going out now and when I get back...do me a favour and piss off again? Things were better when you were gone!" Slams the door.

"Naomi!" He calls after her but he hears the door slam. Fuck sake. Clenches his fists and breathes heavily. Come on, Cook, you can do this, keep fucking calm, he thinks to himself. Nods at himself in the mirror and then sighs and slumps back onto the chair. He's beaten. He's fucking broken. Naomi is his other half. The other half of Cook that makes him who he is. She's his support and without support a building just collapses. He stays for a bit, thinks that maybe this will be the last time that he's in this room and then he leaves the room. For the last time.

*

Tears. Naomi can feel them on her cheek as she walks away from her house. He's a dick. Fucking bastard, and she loves him to pieces. Stupid arsehole. He's as bad as Emily sometimes. Makes her feel. She's not emotionless, just doesn't want attachment. Doesn't want to be sad when they both leave her, because they will. They both practically have already. One of them was her fault, one wasn't. It happens both ways and that makes her feel powerless. She doesn't want to be powerless. It scares her. She's so scared. She needs to sort this out. All of it. Somehow someway she's got to make it okay again, because even if it's only okay for a bit, at least she'll be happy. At least.

*

"Why are you so happy, then?" Emily grumbles from her side of the room as Katie hums. She's cleaning the room and getting on Emily's nerves, bad. Emily's been tempted more than once to throw the book she keeps next to her bed at her twin. Fucking happy bitch. Why does she get to be happy? Fucking Naomi. Everything comes back to the blonde. She loves hers. Loves the grumpy, scowl loving, bitch that is Naomi Campbell. All she wants is for Naomi to admit what she's feeling, to realise what she wants. That she wants Emily. Maybe that's wishful thinking? Maybe Naomi doesn't want her...maybe she's only pretending, but why would she? What would she gain from that? Emily just wants to curl up into a ball and cry because all this thinking is too much for her, she can't though because Katie's here and she'll start to ask questions. Start to figure out that she's _g_ay. Katie won't accept it and if Emily pushes it enough Katie will make her life a misery. So, she'll have to be a closet gay all her life. That's fine with her because Naomi was hers anyway and no one had to know. It was her secret and she loved it and now it's gone.

"Don't know," Katie replies and folds her clothes up and puts them in the draw. "Just a nice day, init?" Pushing the draw closed Katie makes her way over to the other side of the room and starts picking up all her stuff off her desk and putting it in the right place.

"_Init? _Who the hell have you been hanging around with? Chavs?" It's weird the way Katie stills for a second before carrying on with what she's doing. Emily's eyes narrow. No way. "Cook? You've been hanging around with Cook? Why would you hang around with that dick?"

"Don't start, Emily, yeah? I'm not in the mood." Katie doesn't look at her. Just offers her a wave of her hand over her shoulder and carries on with her work. Emily scowls, thinks that Naomi might be having an effect on her, and pulls at Katie's shoulder.

"Well, I am in the mood. Why are you hanging around with him? Don't you know how much trouble he's caused? For everyone? For Naomi? For JJ?" Katie snaps up at that and glares at her twin.

"You don't know what you talking about, yeah, Ems? You have no idea what went on with JJ and Cook, so leave it out, okay? And Naomi? Who the fuck cares about her anyway. Stupid lezza!" Emily's hand snaps forward and connects with Katie's cheek. Katie steps back and pages fall to the floor. Emily's hand stings, really stings and she cups it in her other one. Katie's got her mouth wide open. Emily's eyes fill with realisation at what she's done. Shit. She's slapped her sister. She's slapped her sister because of what's happen in her life. Katie didn't deserve that. Sure, she was being a bitch but she didn't deserve to be slapped for that. Emily reaches out to put her arm on her sister's shoulders but Katie flinches away. That scares Emily.

"What's happening to you?" Katie breathes as tears are stinging her eyes. Her cheek hurts. It fucking throbs. Emily's feet clatter against the floor as she runs from the room. There is something in the air. It's bad. It's all fucked up now. No going back. Katie slides down onto her bed and curls up, doesn't cry. Won't ever cry for her sister again. They are no longer sisters. Emily's changed.

*

She doesn't know why her feet carry there. Sighs as she finally can't run anymore and takes huge breathes of air. Her hearts pounding, her feet ache and her heart is broken. She bites her lip as she slumps down onto the wooden bench. It's been a long time since she's been here. Just sat on this bench and looked out over Bristol, it's a nice thinking space, she thinks. Leans back and lets the breeze slowly hit her skin, it feels nice. Escapism. She sits there for hours. Katie running through her mind, then Naomi and then how everything's gone wrong when it looked like everything was going right. She cries for a bit, her breath hitches as the sobs escape her, but then she stops. Just doesn't cry anymore because she has no tears left. Slowly lowers her head down onto the hard wooden and succumbs to sleep. At least in her dreams she can escape her problems.

"Didn't realise you'd taken up being homeless, Red." She looks up. Great, just fucking great. Just the person she needed to see to make her day even fucking worse. Cook. She groans and pushes herself up, rubs at her eyes and then shifts up a little. Offers him up a seat next to her. He nods his thanks and sits down next to her. "Fag?" He offers, she shakes her head no. He nods and sparks up his own. Leans forward on his knees and looks out over Bristol. "Take it that things aren't great at the moment, then?" He doesn't say 'babe' or 'dear'. He doesn't push his luck. He's already got Blondie pissed off at him, doesn't want Red to be as well.

Emily just rolls her eyes at him. Statement of the century, twat. Bites her lip and then looks at him. "No, it's not." Her voice is hoarse and rough. She's been crying, he knows that, her eyes are red, and he can tell from her voice that she's been crying. Real hard. He feels bad for her. Doesn't voice it though because he knows no one cares what he thinks. He leans back and throw one arm over the bench. Takes a long hard drag and then blows it out. "She's just scared, you know?" He offers and Emily snaps her head towards him.

"Who?" She spits it.

"Naomikins. She's just scared, Red."

"My names, Emily, not '_Red'_," And they sit in silence again for a bit. Cook's words consuming her. Making her mind explode in hundreds of different thoughts. She wants to talk to him but at the same time she wants to tell him to fuck off and keep his nose out of her life. Fucking dick! She caves. "...how do you know she's scared?" She bites her lip after and looks away from him.

He clicks his tongue against the top of his mouth before answering. "I'm her best friend, ain't I?"

Emily scoffs. "Hardly, she hates you." He nods his head to that. She does. He knows that.

"Yeah, she does, Emily, but I'm still her best friend."

"I'm more of a friend to her than you ever were." Emily spits and Cook laughs to himself. These two are so fucked up. He's an idiot, he knows that, but are these two so blind? Rolls his eyes and leans forward to look her in the eye.

"She can have more than one best friend, Red. Calm down, I ain't trying to say I mean more to her than you do, okay?" Emily tries to cut him off. "Now, just listen, alright? Because I'll only say this once. Naomi's scared, not the normal type of scared, either. She's not scared about being gay, or being with you, she's scared of feeling. Of feeling like she ain't got any power. That she's weak. She's always been strong and by the looks of it both of us have fucked her over recently and she ain't taking it so well. Give her time, Red. She'll come around," Emily looks at him sceptically. "Trust me, Red, me and her? We're the fucking same, yeah? I know exactly what she's feeling right now. And you're fit as, yeah? She wouldn't pass that up. She loves pussy more than the Cookie." He smirks at her and Emily smiles lightly back. He leans back and carries on smoking.

Emily's smiling to herself. "You're really a nice guy, aren't you, Cook? It's all a front, isn't it?" She asks and Cook splutters on the smoke in his throat. Looks the redhead dead in the eye and winks at her.

"The Cookie Monster is a mystery, no one knows him better than himself!" he exclaims.

"A mystery, indeed." She replies and they sit there for a bit. Bubbling over. It's not bad though, to be honest, it's quite nice for both of them. Friends, they aren't that. They never will be but both of them like to entertain the thought that if they'd spoken a lot sooner than this they probably could've been. "You like my sister, don't you?"

"What?" he asks, taken back.

"I'm not an idiot, okay? She talks about you all the time. About how much she hates you and yet she can't stop talking about you? She goes crazy when you disappear, talking to Naomi just to find out where you've gone and then she starts talking like you? I haven't ever seen her like this." Cook suppresses a smile.

"Don't know what you're talking about, Red." He looks away.

"Sure you don't." Emily says with a smile on her face and they sit there in silence again. That comfortable silence. "How about that fag, then?" She asks and Cook gives it to her. An olive branch. A peace offering.

*

The blonde bites her lip as she stands in front of the door. She's never been in Emily's house, never even knew where it was until last week when she'd decided it would be a good idea that if Emily had to go home that she would at least walk her there. It takes all her fucking strength in the world to knock on that door, to wait for an answer. A woman with brunette hair answers. "How can I help you?"

"I'm looking for Emily...is she...is she in?" God, she sounds like a blubbering idiot. Fuck sake, sort it out.

"She's just upstairs. Go on up now, dear." Jenna lets her in and she makes her way up the stairs as fast as she can. Knocks on the door that is clearly the girls and waits for an answer. Doesn't get one. Knocks again. Same again. She sighs and finally just grabs the handle and walks on in. Emily's not there, that's the first thing she notices, instantly making her internally grumble and the second thing she notices? The hunch figure of Katie on the bed. She's not crying. She just looks like she's laying there. "K..Katie?" Naomi asks. She's hesitant because she doesn't want Katie to get all bitchy with her. That would be the icy on the cake.

"Naomi? What the fuck are you doing here?" Katie hisses as she sits up and glares at the blonde.

"I was..." Fuck it. "I was looking for Emily." She doesn't care what Katie thinks. Fucking bitch can go fuck herself for all she cares. "I'm gay." Also slips out.

"Pfft. I know that. Been telling you that for, like, the past year. Glad you finally came to accept that. Now, fuck off, you dyke." Katie's smile is sickly sweet. Naomi wants to punch her, doesn't. Does something completely drastic and doesn't know why. It just happens. She can't fucking control herself.

"I'm in love with your sister." Her eyes go wide and she actually clamps her hand over her mouth.

Katie stills for a second and then sighs. She excepts to be slapped, kicked out, threatened and all sorts but Katie just nods and carries on with what she's doing.

"Did...did you hear me?" Stop. Just stop Naomi, she tries to tell herself. "Look, I know you don't want to accept it, okay? But your sister is gay. She's gay. She's in love with me as well. I know she is. I....need her." Realisation. Finally. She knows what she wants. "I want her. She wants me. You're going to just have to get used to it, okay, Katie? Because otherwise you'll have to deal with me." Naomi's feeling brave. Very brave. Katie just carries on with what she's doing. She's heard every word. She knows it's true but she's saying nothing. Naomi almost growls and heads for the door. "Fine, and just so you know, Cook's in love with you." She states as she leaves the room. Katie's mouth twists up at the sides a bit. Fucking dickhead. That will teach him to piss off for three months. You don't fucking mess with Naomi Campbell.

*

It's better that night. When Emily comes back and slips into bed next to Katie. When her arms wrap around her twin and they snuggle up together. It feels like it did when they were younger. It feels like it could get better. Hopefully. For the both of them.

*

The college had given him three more days in his room to gather his stuff together and then he had to leave. Fair enough, at least it was some time. He closes the door and looks back on the room one last time before he closes that door in his life forever as well. He'll miss that room. Pulls a half full suitcase down the hallway. Where to next? Fuck knows.

**A/N: I've been busy this week again and I will be tonight so I did this filler chapter today. I hope it's okay? Tell me what you think! :D The next chapter will most likely be the last one and hopefully a very very long one :D It may take me a while to write so see you next time! You guys are the best! You make my day! :D**


	14. Part One: Fix You

**Disclaimer: I don't own Skins! I wish I did though!**

**A/N: It's been and passed now but it's been Skye's birthday so if you didn't wish her happy birthday please do because this fic is for her :D **

**This is the last chapter, I've decided to separate it into two parts so one tonight and hopefully the other tomorrow, I hope you like it! Thanks for reading again, you guys and gals are the best!**

**Chapter Fourteen:**

Emily. The first and last thing she's thought about today. Woke up and thought about her and went to sleep thinking about her. Nothing in particular, just her. Rubs her brow as she pushes herself up the next morning, her hair is a mess, her eyes are heavy and she aches all over. That's what happens when you cry yourself to sleep. Fuck sake. She's changed....and she's okay with that now. Itches her arm and walks over to her dresser, sleeps with no clothes on so when she sees her naked self in the mirror she isn't surprised, she is surprised at how shit she looks though. She isn't an arrogant person, thinks less of herself than she'd like to admit but right now? She looks like the worst person in the world. Sighs, fuck it. Picks up her phone and searches her contacts, finds Emily's name and presses call. Holds the phone to her ear and waits, listens to the phone ringing and then hears the answer machine. Sighs. Fuck sake, Emily! Answer your phone.

She gets ready for college. It's the first day back since she's argued with Emily and instead of being nervous about bumping into the redhead; she actually wants it to happen. She needs to see her, needs to talk to her. Her conversation with Katie was it. The realisation, that moment you get when clarity hits you and instead of fighting being, you just be. She thought that if she admitted...if she finally thought it, thought that she was 'gay' or in 'love' with Emily that everything else would go to shit and things would get even worse, but it didn't. The weight is gone off her shoulders and even though she looks like shit, she feels like she's on the top of the world right now. She's better. Happier. It's nice to be happy. It is.

She finds her clothes, pulls them on and sorts out her hair. Makes her way downstairs and sits at the table, empty plate in front of her. Gina raises an eyebrow at her. Her daughter is actually sitting at the table for breakfast. "Hello, love, want some food?" Gina puts the eggs down in front of her and Naomi digs in. Hasn't been this hungry in a while. She's half way through her eggs when she realises that her mum doesn't have any food in front of her. A mumble question is what Gina hears and looks up from her paper. "Sorry, love, what was that?" Smiles warmly.

Naomi waves her hand around in circles to make a gesture that she's swallowing her food. "Where's your breakfast?" She asks and Gina nods to the eggs in front of her. Naomi looks at them and then back up at her mum. She's eating her mum's breakfast. She feels bad. "I'm sorry."

"Love, I'd rather you have them. I'll make some more for me in a bit, but right now, I'm happy that you are eating breakfast. You've been a lot happy, dear. I like it. It looks good on you." Gina smiles warmly again and Naomi sends her a small smile back. Finishes the eggs. She likes her mum when she's like this. They talk, just a bit, about nothing really, about everything at the same time. Naomi doesn't know how that works, it just does, she smiles when she needs to smile and laughs when she needs to laugh. No more hiding. No more faking. The conversation does turn serious. As much as her and her mum would like to carry on just talking about nothing her mum does feel the need to help, to love her, to be there for her and she does know when her daughter is sad. "So, how's James? Haven't seen him here in a while."

"James is a dick, Mum." Naomi replies and looks down at her plate, fiddles with her plate and little and then looks out the window. It's raining. Lovely day.

"I know that, love," Naomi's eyes snap up and she looks at her mum questioningly. "Come on, Naomi, dear. I heard the way he used to talk about women, but he's a sweet boy really. Sure, he's a pig like most of the other men in the world, but woman can be pigs too. Sometimes it's best to just give people a chance. You did give him a chance and you two are the best of friends. Just because one of you are a bit of twat sometimes doesn't mean that you two should throw that all away. So, just forgive him for whatever he's done, because you might be angry now, but you two are better together." Gina smiles. Naomi bites her lip. She's right. She knows she's right. She does want to forgive Cook, but right now? She hates him more than she's hated anyone else in her life and every time she thinks of him all she wants to do is drag her nails down something that will do permanent damage to herself. She doesn't thought because he's not worth it. He's not worth much. "I know sometimes it's scary. I've been scared plenty of times in my life, when your dad pissed off everything went a bit shit and I found myself as a single parent without a home and alone, you know what happened though? I made a friend, just like Cook. She was the female version. She was the worst friend imaginable....but at the same time....I would have been lost without her....sometimes life is....scary. You feel things that you don't want to feel, you see things you don't want to see and you hear things you don't want to hear. Life is shit." She doesn't tell Naomi to do anything, doesn't tell her to just do it, doesn't tell her that she should or should not do this and that, all she says is the cold hard facts. That's why she's starting to like her mum. She's nice, but she's true. Smiles at her mum with a nod of understanding and then she gets up and heads for college. No more words. She knows her mum knows about Emily, but she doesn't say anything and she's glad. She rather her mum say nothing at all. It's cliché, but she knows that now she's starting to like things she didn't before.

Bikes to college. The wind slaps against her face as she rides through the streets of Bristol, yeah, it's raining but she doesn't care. That's why she's wearing a coat. She spots him at the bus stop. His head resting against the glass of the bus shelter and fag in one hand. He looks grubby. Dirty. Maybe hasn't had a shower in days. She stops in the rain and sighs. Fuck sake, mum. Bikes over. "How long you been here then, James?" She asks, stepping into the shelter to escape the rain. He blinks at her for a second before he takes a slow drag of his fag and stares at her. "Why haven't you gone to Katie's then?"

"As much as Katiekins loves the Cookie Monster something tells me that Mumma Fitch wouldn't be too happy about a teenage boy kipping in her house with her two teenage daughters. Fair enough, I suppose, though." Stubs the fag out against the glass. Naomi watches as he drags the butt down and forces a grey smug to appear alongside the rain and condensation. Fitting, Naomi thinks. "What you doing here then, Blondie? Ain't you gonna be late for college or something?"

"Aren't you?" She offers in return and sits down next to him. Not too close and not too far. Just someone in between.

"Nah, babe, college is too high maintenance for Cookie Monster. Something's are just supposed to be wild and the Cookie is definitely wild." Smirks to himself and chuckles lightly.

"Kicked you out, then?" She asks after a bit and he concedes with a nod.

"Yeah," Cook raises another fag up to his mouth and lights it with one cupped hand. "Pissed off too long for them to take me back, I suppose." Naomi nods. Three months is a long time. She knew the college would never take him back after that. What's he going to do now?

"What are you going to do now?" She asks.

"Thought you didn't care? Aren't you supposed to be angry at me or something, Naomikins?" He challenges. He's pissed, probably because he's fucking homeless now.

"I...James...I do care, okay? You just pissed me off, alright?" She's standing now. "You fucked off, okay? You left us. Left me and...I fucking missed you, alright?" Cook looks away. It's a low blow. He knows it and she knows it. She doesn't mean to make him feel guilty, he fucked off for his reasons and she still doesn't know them. He missed her too, she knows he does. He doesn't do feelings, she knows that but she....she just needs to tell him. Needs him to understand. "I-i've changed."

"I know, Blondie."

"Do you? Do you really, James? Cause now all the time I'm feeling and thinking about everything. I can't be like you anymore. I just can't do it, okay? You're my best friend, James, but we're never really friends! All we do is the same thing every week and it was nice. Nice while it lasted but I need change. I needed this...I needed E..." Stops herself before she can say something stupid. Bites her tongue because she's already made this situation ten times worse. She can't explain it. She can't find the words, it's all coming out wrong.

"Emily." He finishes for her with a soft smile. It's sad. She can see that. "I know, Blondie. It's fine, dear. It's my fault. It's always been my fault. Been too caught up with my own problems to give a fuck about you. Sorry, Naomikins. I was a cunt."

"It's okay."

"It isn't, though, is it?" Cook asks, drops his fag to the floor and stamps on it.

"No....it's not."

"Thought so. See you around, Blondie." Those words sting her every time she hears them. He doesn't mean it like that though. He walks off into the rain. Suitcase in hand. She hears it jump against the bumps in the gravel as he disappears into the distance. She wishes things could be fixed. Knows that they can't.

*

She skips her first classes and waits outside of Emily's. Emily's not in, thought, well, not by the looks of it. She hasn't seen Katie either. Asks a few people if they've seen either of the redheaded twins and sighs when she gets a 'no' or a shake of a head. Leans back against her locker and bangs her head against it once, just lightly. Where the fuck are the Fitch twins when you need them? Finally gives up and goes to class, does nothing again. Kieran's starting to notice, she thinks, so she ducks out of the class room quick at the end and heads to the cafeteria. Stops them straight away. They are sitting together in the corner. Katie looks the better out of the two and Naomi knows why, her fault completely. Bites her lip as she heads over and takes a seat next to Emily. Her chest feels like it's on fire, she feels like she can't breathe. So close. Strawberries. It's been like two days and she's missed them so fucking much. Back to that drowning sensation. Ever thought you'd want to drown? Well, Naomi does. Right here and now. "Hey," She offers it to them both. Doesn't want to single either of them out either way. Katie kind of nods, but it's not friendly, just polite. Emily breathes out a hey as she uses her plastic spoon to play with her food. "So...I was looking for you this morning."

"Why?" Emily asks. She sounds so broken. Naomi just wants to pull her to her and stroke her hair. Nearly does, but doesn't think that Emily will react to well to that in their current situation. Flicks her hair to the side a little and gathers her courage.

"About...us." She's being forward. This makes Emily's eyes snap to hers and she looks at her confused. Asking a question that she can't find words for. Naomi nods and Emily nods slowly back. They turn towards the sound of Katie dropping her fork onto the tray with a sickened face and watch as she picks her tray up. "Look, I'm sort of, okay with this, yeah? But I don't want all this lovey dovey lesbo shit in my face, okay?" She leaves after that.

"She seems happy." Naomi states.

"She is. Well, happier then she's been in a while. I think Cook's got something to do with that." Naomi nods. He has.

"Fair enough." And then there's the silence. That horrible awkward silence where you know you have to talk about something but you can't find the words to explain yourself. It's a pain but she's going to have to fucking fight through it because she knows what she wants. Turns to the redhead and looks her dead in the eyes.

"I...want you." Emily's taken back. She's wanted to hear that. Hear those words for so long that finally when they pass the blonde's lips in nearly knocks the wind out of her. She bites her lip and looks back at the table. Her conversation with Cook floating into her mind. She's just scared, Red.

"Really?"

"I do."

"Are you sure?" Emily's not ready to give herself over completely. Naomi hoped she would, but knew she wouldn't. Nods.

"Fine."

"Are you definitely sure?" Naomi nods again. It's hasty. She wants Emily. She really does. Wanted her since she saw her. That night in the bar. The first time. The way that she could be so sure of herself and yet at the same time so naive to certain aspects of teenage life. The way she danced with her, moved her hips to the beat, just like Naomi. She's wanted her since then and now and only now after all this shit has she finally realised it. She's been a fucking dick and she regrets it.

"Yes."

"Then kiss me."

"What?

"Kiss me here in front of everyone. Prove that you want me."

"I do want you."

"Enough to kiss me here?"

"Y...yes." Moment of truth.

*

_See you around, Blondie. _Echoes in his head. He's used those words before. Those words fucked everything up before. It's tipping it down. Fitting, he thinks. Churns his shoulder round slowly and spits on the floor. Nail in the coffin. Naomi and him are done. They ain't on bad terms but they ain't on good terms, either. It's fucked. He's fucked it. He always does. Smokes another fag, that'll be his fifth of the day. Opens the packet and looks down ruefully, three left. Of course there fucking is! Just his luck of late. Right, he's made a list. A mental list of things he needs to sort out or try to. He'll only try once though, he doesn't want to push his luck. Naomi and him? It's gone, just like he said earlier. He's gotta pick up his shit and move on because that's all he's good. He'll miss her, you know? She was a top class girl, top notch.

"_Alright, Blondie, fancy a good time?" Breathes in her ear hard. She shudders as his voice trickles down his neck. Fucking disgusting. She knows what he's going to look like before she even turns around. Yep, polo shirt, jeans and trainers. He's got the top button done up to counter the chav image he first presents. It's kind of Ironic, she thinks, that he'd go to the effort to do up his top button yet still look a mess everywhere else. It amuses her. _

"_Not in a million years, __**mate**__, go have a good time with yourself, yeah?" She offers with the finger. He smirks at her and leans back against the bar._

"_Jegger;, I come here a lot and first time I've see that arse in here, trust me the Cookie Monster knows." Winks at her and she scoffs._

"_The Cookie Monster? You do realise how stupid it sounds to talk about yourself in the third person? Arrogant pig." He laughs again._

"_You're funny. I like you, girlie. So, buy you a drink?" He gestures towards the barman and they come over. The barman's on his way over because she can tell him 'no' because, let's face it, it's always going to be a no. She hates him. Hates that sort of person. Fucking pisses her off. Plenty of them in London, plenty of them back home. Bristol is a scum hole. Fucking hates it so far and this guy is the latest to come out of woodworks. Rolls her eyes when he places a drink down in front of her. "What's this?" She asks. _

"_Your drink."_

"_What is it?"_

"_White Russian. Vodka and milk. Legendary and definitely your drink, babe, trust me! The Cookie Monster is the master of booze. I can tell you what everyone really wants to drink in here. People have certain types."_

"_Oh, really?" She raises an eyebrow at him and sighs. "And just for the record? I'm not your 'babe' so don't fucking call me that."_

"_Whatever you say, babe," She rolls her eyes. Dick. Fucking dickhead. "But yeah, I claim that talent, problem?"_

"_Yeah, my problem is that it's bullock. You're full of shit." _

"_Oh, really?" this time it's his turn to raise an eyebrow. He winks at her after and she wants to be sick. He is repulsive. "I bet you that I can guess what the next person to comes to the bar drinks is." He offers out his hand._

"_And what do you get if you win? And what do I get in return? Just so you know, I'm not in the habit of making deals with strangers, but I'll take pity on you this one time." She takes his hand and he smirks. Shakes her hand hard._

"_Well, if I win then you have the pleasure of hanging out with Cookie this evening, but If I lose? Well, then, babe, I'll piss off." She nods. Agrees. Fine, at least he'll piss off. She sips at her drink and scowls. Dickhead. It takes fucking lush. Cunt. He waves at her to look and as the next girl comes up to the bar he makes his move. _

"_Alright, love, how are you this evening?" He smirks at her and they fall into conversation. She watches them. He's smooth, she'll give him that. He knows what he's doing. Probably had more action then she ever has, well, that's not exactly hard. Rolls her eyes at herself and looks back the pair. She hears snippets. Innuendos. Flirts. That sort of thing and it's all very sickening. She waits for it. _

"_I'll have a..." The girl starts but cuts her off._

"_One sex on the beach, please, mate. For the lovely lass, that is." She stares at him shocked._

"_How did you know that?" He waggles his eyebrows. He has his ways. She doesn't listen to anymore. Fuck sake. Now she has to spend the evening with that cunt. Jesus. He ditches the girl, she's hot so I suppose she should feel at least a little bit good about herself. _

"_So?" He looks at her smugly._

"_Don't be a dick, it doesn't suit you." She spits._

"_Don't be a sore loser, babe, just be glad that I didn't ask for anything with attached." Waggles his eyes brows and she is thankful._

"_Fine, just don't fucking annoy me, yeah?"_

"_Sure thing, blondie," Pulls up a stool next to her. "So, have you heard the one about the pope and the rabbi?" He asks and she shakes her head no. He's nice. Nicer then he originally seems, and he's funny too, in his own way. Begrudgingly she does admit to herself that she has a good time with him. When they finally he does try it on. Goes in for the kiss but she pulls back and shakes her head no._

"_That's fine, babe. See you here again soon?" He offers out his hand and she's shocked._

"_Aren't you disappointed?" He is. _

"_Yeah, course I am, Blondie. You're fit as fuck, but the Cookie Monster don't force girls into doing something that they don't want."_

"_How gentlemanly." He scowls at her this time and she laughs._

"_Well, since I'm being all gentlike, hows about you tell me your name? I've been calling you blondie all evening. It's nice, but names are nicer." His hand is still extended towards her._

"_Only if you tell me your real one." _

"_Deal, but if you tell a soul I may have to kill you. Just a warning." He winks and she smirks._

"_Naomi." She takes his hand again and shakes._

"_James." _

"_Nice name, James." She teases._

"_Not too bad yourself, Naomikins," He wanders off down the alley. Laughs to himself, in his drunken stupor. "See you around, Blondie." He calls, and she smiles. She hopes he does. She really hopes he does._

He wipes at his eye. He's gonna miss her. So fucking much. Smiles sadly to himself and looks up towards the sky, rain patting against his face harshly. Drags the last of the fag and flicks it into a puddle. He's got places to be, needs to stay in the present and not focus too much on the past. Heads into town, used to go here every Saturday, but now it's a Monday and he's breaking his ritual. Doesn't care though, this needs to have been done a long time ago. He makes his way over to the pay phone and makes a call. Two planned. "Alright, Katiekins, wanna meet me this evening? Do... I dunno, go for a pint or something? Could be a laugh. Let me know, yeah, I'll be at Keith's at eight. Meet me there, got some shit to tell ya, and if you ain't there by nine, well, I'll get some kip. See you soon, babe." That's the first call. Katiekins. She's been a star lately. A nosy, infuriating bitch, but a star nevertheless. She's got talent that girl, she has. She's the only one that has ever been able to get him to watch the 'Notebook' without complaining about it the whole time. Fitch the Bitch. Smirks to himself and puts in another thirty pence, which also happens to make him now officially skint. Knows the number off by heart.

The rain is patting hard against the pay phone glass. He shivers a bit. It is fucking freezing after all and he's only wearing one fucking jacket. Stupid pissing Bristol. Has its faults. The phone rings three times before it's answered. "Where is he, Mrs Jones?" Cook asks.

"Hello, James, I wasn't expecting you to call. JJ isn't in at the moment..." She starts.

"I know, I came by and his bedroom light was out. Where is he?"

"Where do you think?" She asks.

"Thanks." Hangs up. He's always hated that bitch. Feels good to finally be the one that hangs up in their phone relationship. Smirks to himself and heads off. He walks because he doesn't have enough for the bus. He's stashed his suitcase somewhere for safe keeping. Naomi was first on his list, JJ second and Katie last. Two done and one to go. Doesn't even know what he's trying achieve when he walks down the lane that leads to Freddie's grave. Stalls at the gate for a second and squeezes the bar tight. All of nothing, but the stupid thing? Doesn't even know what he's trying to get from this. It's all that's going through his head. Why's he doing this when he doesn't even know why? He's impulsive, sure, but who ain't? The mud is thick and slippery as he makes his way towards JJ.

He's taking shelter under a tree. He's shiver, or locked on. From here Cook can't tell and as he moves closer he sees that it's shivering because JJ snaps towards him. First in shock and then second with a glare. "What do you think you're doing here, Cook?" His voice jumps from the cold.

"I've come to help you, J."

"H-Help me? Why would you want to help me?" JJ's confused, his face scrunches up and Cook takes a step forward.

"You're angry, JJ." He states. Fuck sake. When did he become the wise one? He can't play that part because he's a lot more angry than JJ. This situation is so fucked up. He doesn't have the right to say what he needs to say, but at the same time he has to.

"At what?"

"At yourself, mate."

"Myself? Whatever for? I've done nothing to be angry at myself for. I'm angry at you for...Freddie. For what happened, for, fuck, fuck, fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuck!" He claws at his chest. Cook's arms find his shoulder and shakes him.

"JJ, snap out of it!" He does. Caught him quick enough. He can see JJ's anger in his eyes.

"I'm sorry, mate."

"No, you don't get to....you don't get to say you're sorry! You don't get to! You did this! You fucking did this!" He's shouting now. Shouting again the wind and the rain and a couple of metres away no one would be able to hear it, but Cook can. Cook can hear the voice crack, can hear the pain. He doesn't know how to help. Just apologise. He has to try. He's never been the one that had to apologise, but he's, he's got to learn. Got to change. Adapt. Otherwise he's fucked. This has gone on for too long and it needs to be fucking sorted already. It's causing too much pain. Too much fucking anger.

"I'm sorry, JJ, mate. I really am." It sounds so wrong from him.

JJ agrees. Cook expects it when he gets punched. When the mud below his feet gives way and he falls flat on his back. JJ scrambles on top of him. Fights dirty, but Cook doesn't even fight back. Welcomes the punches, scratches and kicks. He's used to it. So used to it that he can't even _feel _it anymore. Just let's JJ get it out. All of it out. He coughs out blood when JJ's finished. When he's crawling away under a tea and rocking back and forth. His angry becoming too much for him. He spits up blood again, coughs loudly. Urgh! His chest fucking canes! Jesus! He claws at the ground with his fingers when he pulls himself to his feet. His eyes are swollen as fuck and he can barely see. Only sees a little bit when he makes his way over to JJ and slides down the tree and sits next to him. "It's both of our faults, J, mate. Always has been." It's the truth. JJ knows it is. Just doesn't want to accept that. He's happy hiding. Hiding is good.

"No."

"Yes, mate. Freds wanted to protect both of us that evening, not just one of us. We both fucked up. He cared about us too much."JJ nods. Finally concedes after all this time. It's time to accept. Tears trail down his face as he talks. His breath catches a little and Cook coughs. They make quite a pair.

"H-he did." JJ nods. Looks up at the sky. "D-Do you...?"

"Do I what, J?" Cook breathes hard and coughs a little.

"Do you...think he's up there?"

"What, Freds?"

"Yes, I mean, I know that the theory of heaven is highly unlikely and that the possibility of a soul is very low but its....its..." He stops.

"It's nice to think it, ain't it? That after all this shit we get to go to a better place?" Cook offers and JJ nods.

"Yeah, it is. I...I'm sorry I hurt you."

"Tis fine, JJ. Finally time we had a chat and as you know, the Cookie doesn't chat like normal people." JJ's sure that if Cook could wink, he would. He just laughs lightly. Things between them might get better now. Well, that's what Cook hopes. He gets up after a while. They just sit there and talk for a bit, but in the end the cold and tiredness becomes too much for them. JJ helps him to his feet and walks him over to the grave. The air is not completely clear between them. There is still hate, but also brotherly love. It's going to take time and effort and maybe...it's just not worth it. Cook doesn't know what's going to happen, but he'll see. He just goes with the flow. He puts the stuffed, battered panda down on Freddie's grave with a smile and JJ nods according. Approves. He walks JJ home. Heads off to meet Katie.

*

He's battered and bruised but nevertheless when he gets to the pub he's looking clean. Clean and smart. Polo down up with a top button and some roses in brown paper in his hand. He's making an effort. He wants to be different. Eight passes and she's not there. He sits and drinks and waits till around eleven in Keith's. Is still sitting there at twelve with the roses clutches tightly in his hands when Keith starts locking up. "Sorry, Cookie, Looks like she ain't coming." He uncle smiles at him sadly and turns the light out, leaving Cook sitting in the darkness. He tightens his jaw. He really thought she would come. Throws the roses in the bin. He can't fix anything.

**A/N: That's part one of the final chapter. Part two should be up shortly. :D I hope you enjoyed it? Tell me what you guys think, please! It makes my day! Naomily conclusion next chapter! :D You guys rule! You are the best! Make my day by reading this, you do! :D**


	15. Part Two: Complete

**Disclaimer: I don't own Skins! I wish I did though!**

**A/N: It's been and passed now but it's been Skye's birthday so if you didn't wish her happy birthday please do because this fic is for her :D **

**This is the last chapter, I've decided to separate it into two parts so one tonight and hopefully the other tomorrow, I hope you like it! Thanks for reading again, you guys and gals are the best!**

**Chapter Fifteen: Complete**

Lips press softly against her own. Emily's eyes widen a little before she smiles into the kiss. It's soft, but it's enough. It doesn't have to be full of passion or want, but just enough, just enough is there to show her it means something, means something to the blonde too. Her hands snake down underneath the table to rest of the blonde's exposed legs, hands trailing over her knees. Naomi likes the way it feels, gently pulling on her skin. Tickling, moans lightly into the kiss and Emily meets her half way. Fuck it. She's already kissing a girl in the middle of college, might as well go the whole way now that she's out in the open for everyone to see. Her hands grip tightly at the redhead's neck and deepen the kiss. It's as good as she remembers it. The Strawberries, the drowning and that feeling, oh, that feeling. The feeling whenever she touches the redhead skin or lips that she just wants to lose herself in the girl and she does. She really fucking does. Groans, lightly scratching nails and biting of lips, it's all totally inappropriate and it's all appropriate at the same time. Loving Emily never did make much sense. That's right. She loves her. Fucking loves a girl, get over it, okay? She has. Smiles when Emily giggles lightly and pulls back. "What's so funny at this precise moment in time?" Naomi raises her eyebrow playfully and tries to look stern. Emily just rolls her eyes and carries on laughing. This time Naomi genuinely scowls. She's not a bad kisser, right? Self conscious. Fuck sake. Another side effect of the Fitch infection. Crosses her arm and scowls at the redhead. "Well, what is it!?" It's harsh. Emily just laughs and points over and all the boys on the other side of the cafeteria. Drooling like dogs. Naomi rolls her eyes and smiles as well. Typical, every guy has got a little Cook inside him it would seem.

"Again!" Hollers one of the guys and they all cheer. "Yeah! Do it again! That was fucking awesome! Rock hard here, baby! How about a threesome?" It's a chain of calls and offers and the pair take it in their stride.

"Go fuck yourself arseholes!" It's Naomi who says that, of course. Emily may be happy and open about being gay but she isn't as verbal as Naomi. Naomi flashes them the finger as well and they boo and hiss. Promises that if they let her they'd show her a good time. "I think she can satisfy my needs thanks. Best oral in Bristol, right here." Points to Emily who's gone bright red.

Naomi's tugged down to the redhead's level and gets whispered at harshly in her ear. "Naomi, I love the fact that you're so open about us now, yeah? But could you not tell everyone about our sexual activities, please?" Emily's as red as her hair and Naomi's smiling from the sight of it. Shakes her head and nods. Okay, maybe she's gone a bit over the top.

"Forget I said that!" She calls back over and the boos just throw their arms towards her and holler.

"At least we've got a fanbase?" Emily offers and rolls her eyes. She's not annoyed. Good. Naomi pulls on Emily's arm and pulls her towards the exit of the cafeteria, caught up in the moment, and to be honest, Naomi wants to fuck her brains out. Emily stops on the way though. It's Katie, of course it bloody is, Naomi doesn't want to sound selfish but...she wants Emily now. Emily pulls her hand away from the Blonde, who in return grasps at thin air for a second before rolling her eyes and leaning against the wall behind her. Fucking always something. She's just admitted all of herself, decided that she wants to be with Emily, that she needs her and now she's ready to lose herself in it? But, of course, Katie has a problem. She shouldn't be so heartless, but that's just who she is. Plus, Katie's a bitch.

"Katie?" Her twin looks down at her. She straightens her back and pulls her hair to the side.

"Yeah, Ems?" It sounds frustrated, and it is. She's gonna have to accept that Naomi and Emily are a thing now, yeah? But she doesn't want it flaunted around half the college. She doesn't want people to confuse her with Emily and think she's gay. So she voices this. "Yeah, look, I know we talked about this last night, yeah? But, seriously, could you, I don't know, keep it down a little, yeah? I don't want people thinking I'm the gay one."

"Well, just tell them that?" Emily sits down across from her and leans her elbows down on the table.

"Fuck sake, Emily. Not everyone's going to come up to me and say it, are they? Fucking idiot, you are sometimes. They're going to think it."

"Fuck sake, Katie," Mimics her sister. Does it on purpose to teach her a lesson. She said she was fine with this last night.

_Neither of them can sleep. They hug for a bit, do things that sisters do. Talk, laugh and hug. It's nice and it's fleeting because both of them know that in the morning that it'll be gone and they'll go back to being civil but hostile at the same time. Like political enemies. "Lezza came round today." She hears a sniff. Nods lightly against Katie's back. She's not going to go off on one about Katie's name for Naomi, just wants to hear what she has to say. "Said she's in love with you or some shit, also said you're in love with her. Is that true?" Emily's quiet._

"_Yes." It's hoarse and quiet. Emily hears Katie swallow hard._

"_Why?"_

"_Why what?" Emily replies confused._

"_Why are you in love with her?" It's not harsh. It's not cruel. It's just a genuine question, and then, in that moment, she gets it. Gets Katie. After seventeen years of sharing a room, countless arguments and a bathroom, she finally gets her twin. It's not like people think, you know? Just because you look alike doesn't mean you're the same person, not at all. One could like Foo Fighters and the other could like Lady GaGa, one could like Football and the other could like Rugby and one could most definitely like boys and the other definitely like girls. Just because they have the same face, hair and parents doesn't mean they are the same. She finally, finally gets her. She just doesn't understand. She's completely and utterly thrown off by the idea of being gay, sure, you don't have to think about it too much when it's not someone that isn't important to you, but when it's your sister? Maybe Katie did it to protect her, maybe she was harsh to her to protect her from other people's abuse, or maybe she was just scared by it, maybe she didn't want to be her own person? It doesn't matter, though. Whatever the reason but now she knows that Katie just didn't understand, and that's enough for her._

_She presses a light kiss against Katie's head and whispers "Yes." Katie nods back._

"_Okay, then." It's like a promise. A promise from now on that Katie is going to try. Try and understand. Emily's happy with that. Very happy._

"You're okay with this. I know you are. What's really up?" Her sister's been down all day. She's noticed it but she was too focused on looking for Naomi that she didn't ask questions. Now, she turns back to look at the blonde, smiles gently, she's got what she's want. Now, she's got to be a sister again because Katie's always going to be there.

"Nothing, don't worry." Typical. Hide your feelings. Good girl, Katie. She doesn't want to talk about it. Yeah, she's, like, fine with her sister being all big time lezza now, but she still doesn't want to tell her everything. They might be sister's but it's not like they're friends. She glances over to the crossed armed, pissed off looking blonde and rolls her eyes. Typical. Be a grumpy bitch. Good girl, Naomi. Turns back to Emily and puts on her bitchest face. "Hurry up. Your _girlfriend _is getting impatient. Don't keep the lezza waiting."

"Fine, but whatever it is, Katie? Sort it fucking out." It's not as harsh as it's intended. It just passes her lips more as advice than anything else. Katie nods and goes back to her food. What does her sister know anyway? Checks her phone and sighs. Fuck sake, she really does need to sort it out. Fucking bitch. Scowls after the holding hand Lesbos. Hopes they both drown, even if they are slightly cute. FUCK SAKE!

*

Takes her back to hers, past her mum and up into her room. Presses her against her bedroom door and kisses her hard. Consumes her. "Naomi, god." She groans. Pulls hard at the blonde's hair and trails kisses down her neck, bites a little and gets a groan from Naomi in return. It's all just perfect. The way Emily's writhes against her, pulls her towards the bed when she breaks away and pushes the blonde down on the bed, straddles her. Naomi used to this though, Emily being on top, she's had enough experience. She loves it secretly though, won't tell Emily that though. Won't have something to be used against her later, not when Emily tries to blackmail her with sex. It's perfect though the way it happens. Just enough passion and pace to make her eyes roll and her knees give and then before she knows it she's grasping at the redhead's locks and crying out in orgasm. Fuck sake, Emily. Damn you and your tongue! "Mmmmm." Emily says her neck.

"Yeah," Naomi mutters in agreement and puts her arm around the redhead. Pulls that distinctive smell to her. "Want to stay the night?"

"Do you want me to stay the night?"

"Yeah." She replies. It's what she wanted to say when she'd originally asked Emily the question. Wants to be able to wake up in the morning next to the redhead again. For her to just be there because it's nice. Very nice. Sometimes Emily wakes up in different ways. Sometimes she'll wake up incredible horny and attack Naomi's lips with hers whenever she opens her eyes, sometimes she'll wake up and curl into Naomi's side, if she's not already there, and sometimes she won't wake up at all. Naomi remembers this one time during the snow days where she literally had to sit on Emily just to wake her up. Stubborn cow. She might have a nice side but if you get on the wrong side of Emily? Run. She's a feisty one indeed. Naomi likes that though. Not a lot that Naomi doesn't like about Emily. She's just flawless.

"What are you thinking about?" Emily whispers into her ear, her breath making Naomi cringe and giggle.

"I don't like people breathing on my ear, Emily!" She hisses and pulls away from the redhead.

"Oh, really?" There it is. That mischievous look in the redhead's eyes. Fuck sake. If she'd had time she would have rolled her eyes, but she doesn't. Emily's whispers in her ear. Nothing in particular, just harsh breath. Naomi giggles and pushes away from the redhead. "Emily, stop! Fuck sake! Stop!" She's scowling and giggling at the same time and Emily just continues to breath harshly in Naomi's ear, laughing as well. "Emily, please."

"You begging?" Emily asks, straddling the blonde and linking their fingers together; pins them down.

"No." Emily shrugs, leans down and breathes heavily into Naomi's ear again. Naomi struggles. Fuck sake. She's got her. Naomi knows it. Emily most certainly knows it. She'll break. Just this once. Just for Emily.

"You sure?" Emily asks again. The redhead has the smuggest look on her face ever. She knows that she's got the blonde beaten. Loves it.

"Fine, Emily, please stop." Naomi mumbles and looks up expectantly at the redhead.

"Sorry, Naomi, what was that?"

"You know, if people knew how you acted behind closed doors they'd be shocked and appalled." Naomi states and scowls at the redhead.

Emily smiles sweetly. "I'm only a dominatrix when it comes to you, Nai." Naomi rolls her eyes and bucks her hips, trying to get Emily off. Doesn't.

"I'll never be your slave." Naomi states, biggest scowl she's ever produced.

Emily raises an eyebrow. "Challenge accepted." She crushes their lips together.

*

Everyone else is going to Johnny's party tonight. She isn't. Her plans for the evening? Facebook. It's been a while since she's been on, only used it to talk to Danny and she hasn't done that in weeks....hasn't seen him in weeks either. They're still together, though. Technically. He's a dick. She doesn't even know why she bothered with him in the first place sometimes. She's just...always had a boyfriend, yeah? And it'd be weird not to have one. Sighs as she clicks on one of her friends who she doesn't really give a fuck about and searches their pictures. She doesn't even know who they are really, but who really knows who anyone is on facebook nowadays? You've got your key friends and that's it. Hers consists of Naomi, Emily and Cook, and right now? She doesn't want to speak to any of those twats. Clicks on all three of their pages in the last ten minutes. Naomi and Emily doesn't say anything different, well, other than the 'in a relationship' that has appeared in their information box. They've obviously just done that from Naomi's, today. Sick. Cook's has been updated. Looks like he's going to Johnny's and that's one of the main reasons why Katie isn't going. She can't face him. Couldn't face him the other night, either. When he waited for her at Keith's. She knows he waited three hours and then walked home in the rain because she was there. The whole time. Outside the pub. She couldn't go in though. She just fucking couldn't.

Picks up her phone and calls her message box. Listens to his message again. _Alright, Katiekins, wanna meet me this evening? Do... I dunno, go for a pint or something? Could be a laugh. Let me know, yeah, I'll be at Keith's at eight. Meet me there, got some shit to tell ya, and if you ain't there by nine, well, I'll get some kip. See you soon, babe. _Puts her phone down again and then hunches over. Presses her head against the hard wood of the desk and sighs. He said he'd wait till nine, but he didn't. No, he waited till closing time. Till eleven, three hours of waiting, hoping that she'd show and she didn't. She's just...what had Naomi said? That Cook loved her? Fuck off. Cook and Love? Those two words don't even go in the same sentence, do they? He's a nicer guy than he makes out to people sure, but in love? No. He likes to fuck, yeah? And that's it. Just like Katie...right? She keeps telling herself that, but her head tells her different. She's having feelings she shouldn't be having and thoughts she shouldn't be thinking and it's all fucking urgh!

Did she love Cook? Maybe.

*

They decide to go to Johnny, looks like it'll be a good time when they get there. All dressed up and ready to have a party. Cook's the first person they see of course and Naomi's instantly on edge. Emily laces her hand in the blonde's a squeezes reassuringly. "It's okay. We can avoid him."

"It's fine." Naomi replies tightly and nods towards the drinks. Emily smiles and pulls her over gently. They get some punch. It's nice. Strawberry. Naomi looks at Emily and can't help but roll her eyes. It's nice. Just being together, out in the open. She's been such a fucking idiot for not seeing that before. Beating herself up inside won't help, though, will it? They start off with dancing. It's not provocative. It's just harmless fun. The beat picks up and that's when the fun begins. Bites her lips as soon as she feels Emily press into her from behind, hard nipples pushing into her back and she sighs. God, she's fucking so in love with this girl. Pushes back and grinds. The beat fuelling her. Emily leans forward and puts a pill on her tongue, offers it out to Naomi who takes it instantly. Crushes their lips together and taking the pill into her mouth, smiles lazily at the redhead when she pulls back. Leans forward and gently kisses her lips again before they go back to dancing. After that. That moment of just happy. Dancing, kissing and drugs, is all ruined. That's when it all happens.

*

She spots him from across the crowded room. Yeah, she knows how cliché that sounds, but their lives have become one massive cliché of pain and misery, so why not throw in romance, yeah? He's downing some shots, of course he is, he's still Cook. He howls and claps, laughing. Some people roll their eyes, some woop and cheer and some just turn away. Danny's pissed off, his mates call and he goes to them. Cunt. Fuck it. Heads over towards Cook and stands next to him. Doesn't speak. She's never been a coward. She's Katie fucking Fitch! Outspoken, bitchy and confident, but right now? Next to Cook? She wants to crawl somewhere cold and damp and die there. He doesn't say anything, either doesn't he notice her.

Of course he does. Catches the redhead out of the corner of his eye as she moves over towards him. Bitch. He hates her. Fucking turns toward the blonde on his left and is all over her. Pulls her to him and kisses her neck lightly. Here's a shuffle of feet beside him. Katie's gone. Fuck her stupid bitch. Shouldn't have stood him up then, should she? Get to fuck, she can. He turns back to the blonde and starts to kiss down her neck again, finds her lips. It's not the same. Doesn't taste of Katie.

She bites her lip when she reaches the hall and sighs. Fuck sake, pull it together. Her eyes are watering a little. She fucking hates this. Hates how it went from fucking to...something more. She's never really had something more before. It scares her. It's new to her. She was happy with Danny and all the other boys that were sure to come after him, but then Cook has to go and fuck all of that up, doesn't he? Now? Now she can't even fucking think about any other boy apart from him and it's driving her fucking insane. She leans back against the wall and breathes heavily. She's not going to cry. She's not. "Katie?" Hopes it's Emily, it's Naomi. Turns towards the blonde and then turns back the other way again. "You okay?" It's tentative; Naomi doesn't want to start an argument.

Katie puts her hand on her heads and groans. It's convincing enough. "Yeah, just a bit much to drink, I think."

"Don't lie."

"What!?" It's harsh. Bitchy Katie resurfaces. Who the fuck does Naomi think she is? Just because she's openly fucking her sister now means that she has the right to butt her nose in? Fuck that.

"You're lying."

"Oh, yeah? And what the fuck would you know, Lezza?" Naomi holds her hands up in defence and puffs out a sigh with an eye roll. That's what you get for trying to help, the blonde thinks. Starts to back away from the redhead. "It's Cook."

"I know."

"You know? What do you know?"

"You're in love with him."

"Fuck off, am I." She laughs hard. Naomi glares straight through it. Katie tries to keep up the laugh, she really does, but Naomi's glare just breaks her completely and she scowls at the perceptive Blonde instead. "Fine, I like him, okay? Get the fuck over it, yeah?"

"Don't be such a bitch about it, Katie."

"Fuck you."

"Love you, too, Katiekins."

"Don't call me that."

"Sorry." It gets awkward after that. Neither of them say anything, they just stand there and listen to the beat of the bass fill the house. Naomi can hear Cook's laugh from here. "He...cares, you know?"

Katie raises an eyebrow, doesn't answer Naomi's question, just avoids it completely and asks Naomi one in return. "Why do you care anyway? Thought you hated him? Pissed you off, didn't he?"

"Yeah, he did...has. I don't know."

"Fucking useful, you are." Katie states and Naomi nods her head slowly. "Didn't take you to be a person that's, like, slow."

"When it comes to friends and relationships? Yeah, I'm fucking slow. Slow as they come." Naomi reaches into her bag and pulls out a pack of fags.

"Want one?"

"No."

"Want me to talk to Cook?"

"What?"

"Do you want me to talk to Cook?"

"About what?"

"About you and him." Naomi rolls her eyes. She's getting tired of this, but maybe, maybe this was how Emily had felt? Bites her lip and little and prays to god it wasn't.

"Of course not. Just like there is no Emily and me." Naomi sparks her fag up and takes a long drag, watches Cook from the hall, he's dancing now. Soon he'll be onto another girl. Bites the butt of her fag gently. Fuck sake. Why can't they just fuck like they used to? Cook isn't exactly the most open person ever.

"Don't compare Cook and me to you and Ems. In case you haven't noticed? One of us has a cock and you two have vaginas. It's not the same."

"Okay, keep telling yourself that."

Katie growls a bit and glares at the blonde. "Stop that."

"Stop what?"

"Acting like you know everything."

"I do know everything." Naomi has a very Cook smirk on her face.

"You're so fucking annoying. I don't see what Ems sees in you at all." Katie crosses her arms and leans back against the wall. Her jaw is clenching. Naomi is fucking infuriating. Wants to claw her eyes out right now.

"Fuck it." Naomi huffs and storms off away from the redhead. Good, the blonde was pissing her off anyway. She sits there for another five minutes before she hears a yelp and Cook is pushed out into the hall. The door slammed shut and the lock being turned. He's locked in with her. Great.

"Thought you hated me, Naomikins?" He calls to the door and a muffled 'still do!' is what he gets in returns. He smiles to himself. She's coming back around to the idea. Good. Laughs to himself, they always come back to the Cookie Monster in the end! Even if they do like pussy! Smirks to himself and straightens up. See's Katie. Fuck. Naomi? Bitch. He bangs on the door. "Naomikins, this ain't funny now. Open this door!" No reply. Clenches his jaw. "Fine. Hello, Katiekins, how are you?" He forces out angrily. Katie doesn't reply. Just stares at him. "She doesn't want to talk to me! Open the fucking door, Naomi!" Doesn't say her nickname. She still doesn't open the door. Fine, fuck sake, be a bitch then. Sits on the bottom of the stairs and opens a pack of fags. Sparks one up and smokes it, harshly, feels the smoke burn at the back of his throat. "Want one?" he offers the pack up to Katie and she shakes her head, no. Hasn't said much, well, anything since he got into the room. Sighs. Fuck sake. "What's up, babe, shy?" It's harsh.

"No, dickhead." That's the Katie he knows. That's the Katie he likes. She sits down on the bottom of the stairs next to him and holds out her hand expectantly.

"Thought didn't want one, babe?" He asks.

"Well, I do now, okay?" She snaps and he places a fag in her hand. She snatches the lighter off him and sparks it up. He takes another drag next to her and they sit there, just smoking. "I'm...fuck it, I'm sorry, okay?"

He stares at her long and slow before answering. "For what?"

"For not coming last night, okay? Jesus, could you be anymore of a cunt about this?"

"Could you?" He snaps back. No nicknames. No playful tone. He's serious.

"What the fuck is that supposed to be?"

"What do you think? You stood me up, Katiekins! You made me look like a fucking fool in front of the whole bloody pub!"

"Yeah, well, It's not like I agreed to come, is it? You just assumed I fucking would. Why did you want me to come anyway? It was just a drink."

He rolls his eyes. Yeah, like she didn't know what that really meant. He never invites just one person for drinks, expect Naomi, but that doesn't count. But if she wants to be a bitch about this? Then fine. He'll be an asshole. He stands up and heads for the front door. "Fuck this. Fuck you. Fuck everyone. Everyone's a dick nowadays!"

"Oh, yeah, Cook! I forgot. You're so hard done by that no one can fucking understand how you feel? Get over yourself!" She wants to clamp her hand over her mouth and stop the words from coming.

"I don't know what I ever saw in you." He hisses as he presses up close against her. Whispers it in her ear and pulls back glaring.

"Same." They kiss. Pushes Katie back against the stairs and climbs on top of her. She bangs her head, and it fucking canes, but she can't stop kissing him. He groans into her mouth and hikes up her skirt, back to the beginning, back to being frantic. He'll do it anyway to be near her and that makes him sick, at the same time it makes him happy. She's fucking toxic. Her arms wrap around her shoulders and pull him closer. "Oh, Fuck, Cook." She breaths and he smirks. That's it. The Cookie Monster's magic fingers. He goes to work, well, starts to, but he's interrupted. The door behind them opens and in steps Danny and Cook nearly rolls his eyes. "Danny it's not--" Katie knows Cook's going to get punched before he does, and then he does actually get punched, right on top of her.

"What did I say about staying away from my bird!?" he calls to Cook who's pushing himself up off the floor and glaring at the tall football player.

"Oh, you know what? Fuck this, yeah? Fuck everything. Fuck getting punched by you. Fuck getting with her behind your back every other day. Fuck this stupid party. This shit ain't even worth it anymore!" He huffs, grabs his jacket from the rack and slams the door shut on his way out. Fucking dicks. Everyone else but him are fucking cunts. He heads off down the street outside Johnny's. Doesn't know where he's going. Doesn't care.

*

"Katie, what the fuck?" is the first thing that Emily says when her twin walks back into the room with her arm wrapped around Danny and Cook running scared. "What happened?"

"Cook tried it on with me, but Danny sorted him out. It's cool, Emily." Katie states and cuddles up to Danny like the good girlfriend she is. He smirks and Naomi feels like she's going to be sick.

"Don't lie, Katiekins, you looked like a willing participant from what me and Ems saw. You wanted Cook just as much as he wanted you." Naomi states and Katie glares at her harshly.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Naomi." It's forced and harsh and it makes Naomi all warm and tingly inside. Nearly as good as sex. She loves making Katie uncomfortable.

Emily glares back. "Stop lying, Katie. You have feelings for Cook, okay? Fucking deal with it. Stop attacking like a child. Come on, Naomi. Jesus." She hears Emily mutter the last bit and then pull her blonde girlfriend away. Fuck sake, Emily. Enough said.

"I really hate your sister, Katiekins, she's a bitch, but her and that Naomi bird are quite hot...." Danny trials off and Katie cringes in disgust. Not because of the lesbian comment, no, she's used to that from Danny. No, it's because of _Katiekins _it's just...just not the same. Sighs and pushes Danny away from her. One word. One word and she's fucking had enough. Cook didn't even have to say it. Danny did. "What's the matter, babe?"

"You are." She walks away.

*

"I like it when you get all bitchy and honest." Naomi states as they make their way down the street. It's night time in Bristol and neither of them can see a thing. No shoes on either of their feet and they're tired from a night of dancing.

"Yeah?" Emily raises an eyebrow, presses against the blonde quickly. "Maybe, I should do it more often." Pulls away but keeps hold of Naomi's hand.

"Yes, definitely."

"I'm worried about Cook." Emily states and Naomi nods.

"Yeah, me too, but you know what?"

"What?"

"I have a feeling that everything's going to be a bit better from now on." Looks down at their linked hands and squeezes reassuringly. Emily smiles and she pecks Naomi on the lips. Fuck sake, Naomi. Why did you have to be a such a stupid cunt for so long? They make their way down the streets of Bristol, back to Naomi's house.

*

When she finds him she's not surprised. Half of her knew he would be here and the other half hoped he would. She slides down next to him, doesn't say anything. He's looking out over the grave; Freddie's grave. It's been a big part of both of their lives now. It seems only fitting that they both be here, even though she didn't know the boy that laid beneath the ground there. Cook doesn't look at her. Just passes her the spliff, she takes it, hands lightly touching.

"Thanks."

"No problem, Katiekins." He whispers in reponse.

She smiles and takes a drag.

_**THE END**_

**A/N: Well, I hope that was everything that you wanted...I hope you liked it. Let me know, it's the last chance too. Thanks to all you guys for reading and commenting/reviewing on this fic, you guys are the best and when I wake up in the morning before college? Makes my day when someone has, it really does. You guys are the best! Well, that's it. Hope that was good enough. Skins tomorrow. Enough said really. :D**


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